24 March 2008

BC (Biblically Correct) Tours

Sometimes it's hard to be biblically correct. But these folks try really hard.

Here are some fun quotes.

Narrator: They say Adam and Eve walked with dinosaurs. And there was no such thing as death, not even meat eating animals, until Eve ate fruit from the tree of knowledge. So, for instance, they say that Tyranosaurus rex with those enormous, ripping teeth was designed to eat vegetables.

BC tour guide (pointing at a T. rex): If this creature was designed to eat meat from the very start, what would he have to do until Adam and Eve sinned and death entered the world?

(Tour Guide answers since none of the kids knew the BC answer): Fast and pray until the fall.

Tour Guide: Is that likely?

Tour Guide (not waiting for a response): The answer is, everyone look at me and say, "no".

Tour guide (since the kids didn't respond satisfactorily): Try that with me: "No".

The kids looked confused by all that. I don't blame them.

But they were no more confused than the BC tour guides.

Narrator: Their time line for their 6000 year history is a little hazy.

BC tour guide: For the flood there was a period there where we believe people lived to be 800, 900 years old, almost 1000 years old.

Narrator: So how long was that? How many generations of 800 year old people did we have?

BC tour guide: Without doing the math, I think there's about 6 or 7 generations.

Narrator: In doing the math that would take about 5600 years during which people lived roughly 800 years.

BC tour guide: So from Adam to Noah, I think it's about 1000 years. I could be wrong about that.

The biblically correct answer is 1656 years. (The ABC folks forgot to figure in when the old guys did all that begatting.)

BC tour guide: Is evolution a religion?

Everyone (more or less) answers together: Yes

BC tour guide (pointing to some fossils): What do you see right here?

BC tour guide (not waiting for a response): You're looking at God's judgment of a sinful world. You're looking at the remains of the flood.

Narrator: Why are human and dinosaur remains not found in the same sedimentary layers?

BC tour guide: Okay, there are several problems for the creationist. There's no doubt about that. And one would be that.

BC tour guide: How do we know that God made birds to be birds?

Everyone all together: It says it in the Bible.

(via Pharyngula)

6 comments:

Pinksy said...

We're all doomed, we really are. Jesus Christ.

Michael said...

"How do they date the fossil? By the level in which they find it. They date the layer by the fossil and the fossil by the layer and the layer by the fossil. What kind of reasoning is that? That's called circular reasoning."

Correct. Here's another example:

The Bible is the word of God. We know this because it says so in the Bible. We know the Bible is correct because it's the word of God. We know this because it says so in the Bible. We know the Bible is etc. etc. etc. etc.

~GreyMatters said...

The study of agnoiology should be established as a predominant study; we really need to learn about the art of ignorance in order to avoid it. We're in a tough chronological spot right now. What I find bewildering, is how people lean to the fantastical and aesthetic absurdities of the Bible; it just seems so juvenile, but "Lo! the Holy Texts are attractive of belief for their anachronistic aesthetics, and their aggressive Appeal to Emotion".

"How do they date the fossil? By the level in which they find it. They date the layer by the fossil and the fossil by the layer and the layer by the fossil. What kind of reasoning is that? That's called circular reasoning."

he erred right there. They date the fossil by the layer. Period. They don't justify the date the layer of the fossil gives by asserting the fossil has the date the layer said it was. The layer says that's the date, it then must be correct, why? examine science further, and it's logical justification behind that, and thus it is not circular reasoning anymore. Plus, circular reasoning has to do with the art of justification, not of action ("they date the fossil by the layer, and the layer by the fossil")

michael: "The Bible is the word of God. We know this because it says so in the Bible. We know the Bible is correct because it's the word of God. We know this because it says so in the Bible. We know the Bible is etc. etc. etc. etc."

Hypocrites.

GAD said...

Jesus Camp: The field trip

sconnor said...

Actually, are there any savvy evolutionist that can help me out here? I have been in a debate, god, faith, creationism and the religious guy said, "Science is in the present. You can't prove something scientifically from the past. You can't test or repeat the big bang or biblical creation."

Can I get a little help here? I know there has to be a plethora of scientific study that backs up evolution or specifically how old the earth is. Can anyone point me in the right direction?

Thanks,

--S.

Dave said...

Try http://www.talkorigins.org