Christine O’Donnell, the 2010 Republican senate nominee from Delaware, was on a crusade during the 90s to stamp out masturbation. Here's what she said about it.
The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. So you can't masturbate without lust.
And I think she's right about that. You can't masturbate without lust. (Go ahead and give it a try.)
And Jesus said that whoever lusts commits adultery.
Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. Matthew 5:27-28
So there you go. Masturbation is adultery.
Now the Bible is clear on what we should do with adulterers (masturbaters).
And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. Leviticus 20:10
So whether you commit adultery with another man's wife or you commit adultery with your own hand, it's all the same to God, Christine O'Donnell, and the Republican Tea Party. You shall surely be put to death.
But there is a way out, if you're man (or woman) enough to do it. Don't commit adultery with your hand; cut if off instead.
If thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. Matthew 5:30
When you consider the options, it makes a lot of sense. Masturbation is adultery, adulterers must be executed, and God tortures dead masturbaters forever in hell.
Or do as Stephen Colbert suggests and marry your hand!
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