I've already told you what Jesus looks like. Long white robe, golden girdle, white face and hair, red eyes, brass feet, seven stars in hand, sword sticking out of mouth. He's hard to miss.
And here's what he'll look like when he gets into his planned mass killings at the end of the world, which I guess is scheduled for May 21, 2011.
Oh yeah, there's one more thing we know about Jesus: he's got a tattoo on either his thigh or scrotum. We'll have to wait until May 21st to find out which it is.
But what about Jesus' dad? You know, God the Father. Has anyone ever seen him?
Well, it depends on whom you ask. Here are some verses from the Bible that claim that no one has seen God and that God can't be seen.
There shall no man see me, and live. Exodus 33:20
No man hath seen God at any time. John 1:18
Not that any man hath seen the Father. John 6:46:
Now unto the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. 1 Timothy 1:17
Whom no man hath seen nor can see. 1 Timothy 6:16
No man hath seen God at any time. 1 John 4:12
And yet there are quite a few reported sightings of God in the Bible.
Moses was one of the first to see God. But he only got a glimpse of his "back parts."
The LORD said unto Moses ... I will make all my goodness pass before thee ... Thou canst not see my face: for there shall no man see me, and live ... Thou shalt stand upon a rock: And ... while my glory passeth by ... I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts. Exodus 33:17-23
Amos saw the Full Monty, though, with God standing on a wall holding a plumb line in his hand.
The LORD stood upon a wall made by a plumbline, with a plumbline in his hand. Amos 7:7
I saw the LORD standing upon the altar: and he said.... Amos 9:1
Ezekiel got a good look at God's loins (the glory of the Lord) and it looked to him like they were on fire. (Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire!)
And I saw ... the appearance of his loins.... This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD. And when I saw it, I fell upon my face. Ezekiel 1:27-28
Then I beheld, and lo a likeness as the appearance of fire: from the appearance of his loins even downward, fire; and from his loins even upward. Ezekiel 8:2
From Habakkuk, we know that God has horns coming out of his hand, with disease in front of him and burning coals at his feet. (Feet, like thighs in the Bible are often euphemisms for genitals. So maybe Ezekiel was right about God's burning loins!)
God ... had horns coming out of his hand. ... Before him went the pestilence, and burning coals went forth at his feet. Habakkuk 3:3-5
And finally, Zechariah and Revelation tell us about God's eyes. He has seven of them, to go along with his seven spirits and seven horns on his head. (The seven-eyed, seven-horned dead lamb in Revelation is probably Jesus, though. It's hard to tell the two apart sometimes. As Jesus said, "He that has seen me, has seen the father.")
Those seven; they are the eyes of the LORD, which run to and fro through the whole earth. Zechariah 4:10
And I beheld ... a Lamb as it had been slain, having seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven Spirits of God sent forth into all the earth. Revelation 5:6
To sum up then, here's what we know about God: He has seven eyes, coals at his feet, loins on fire, and horns coming out of his hand. (Oh yeah, I almost forgot. He's also a redhead.)
You'll know him when you see him.