19 March 2011

Someone should read the Book of Revelation to Glenn Beck

In my last post, I quoted Lawrence O'Donnell, who said this about the book of Revelation:

The book of Revelation is a work of fiction describing how a truly vicious god would bring about the end of the world. No half-smart religious person actually believes the book of Revelation. They are certain that their god would never turn into a malicious torturer and mass murderer beyond Hitler's wildest dreams.

To which Glenn Beck responded:

Jeez! No it isn't. It is a book to say, this what it is going to look like. This is what the Antichrist is going to do.
Stop! Did he miss the two words: Anti Christ? It's not God doing it!

Which only shows that Glenn Beck has never read the book of Revelation, since it never mentions the Antichrist. (There is a whole zoo of strange beasts in Revelation, but none of them are called antichrist or kill people.)

[The word "antichrist" only occurs four times in the Bible. (1 John 2:18, 2:22, 4:3, and 2 John 1:7) It refers to anyone who denies that Jesus is the Christ and/or has come in the flesh.]

No, Lawrence O'Donnell was entirely correct. The mass-murdering monster in Revelation is God (or Jesus or angels sent by God).

Here are a few quotes from the book that Glenn Beck has never read.

Jesus will kill billions (maybe even trillions) with a sharp sickle.

And I looked, and behold a white cloud, and upon the cloud one sat like unto the Son of man, having on his head a golden crown, and in his hand a sharp sickle. ... And he that sat on the cloud thrust in his sickle on the earth; and the earth was reaped ... into the great winepress of the wrath of God. And ... blood came out of the winepress, even unto the horse bridles, by the space of a thousand and six hundred furlongs. Revelation 14:14-20

And billions more with a sword that sticks out of his mouth. Then he'll feed their dead bodies to the animals.

And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself. And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God. ... And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS. And I saw an angel standing in the sun; and he cried with a loud voice, saying to all the fowls that fly in the midst of heaven, Come and gather yourselves together unto the supper of the great God; That ye may eat the flesh of kings, and the flesh of captains, and the flesh of mighty men, and the flesh of horses, and of them that sit on them, and the flesh of all men, both free and bond, both small and great. ... And the remnant were slain with the sword of him that sat upon the horse, which sword proceeded out of his mouth: and all the fowls were filled with their flesh. Revelation 19:11-21

God will give power to someone on a red horse that will force people to kill each other.

And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword. Revelation 6:4

He will tell Death and Hell to kill one quarter of the earth's population with the sword, starvation, and "with the beasts of the earth."

And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth. Revelation 6:8

He will tell his angels to torture "those men which have not the seal of God in their foreheads." God carefully instructs the angels not to kill them, but rather torment them with scorpions for five months. Those tormented will want to die, but God won't let them.

And there came out of the smoke locusts upon the earth: and unto them was given power, as the scorpions of the earth have power. And it was commanded them that they should not hurt the grass of the earth, neither any green thing, neither any tree; but only those men which have not the seal of God in their foreheads. And to them it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man. And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them. ... And they had tails like unto scorpions, and there were stings in their tails: and their power was to hurt men five months. Revelation 9:3-10

Four angels, with an army of 200 million, will kill a third of the earth's population.

Four angels were loosed ... to slay the third part of men. And the number of the army of the horsemen were two hundred thousand thousand ... and the heads of the horses were as the heads of lions; and out of their mouths issued fire and smoke and brimstone. By these three was the third part of men killed, by the fire, and by the smoke, and by the brimstone, which issued out of their mouths ... for their tails were like unto serpents, and had heads, and with them they do hurt. Revelation 9:15-19

Anyone that messes with God's two olive trees and two candlesticks (God's witnesses) will be burned to death.

And I will give power unto my two witnesses ... These are the two olive trees, and the two candlesticks standing before the God of the earth. And if any man will hurt them, fire proceedeth out of their mouth, and devoureth their enemies: and if any man will hurt them, he must in this manner be killed. Revelation 11:3-5

God gives the fourth angel the power to burn people to death.

And the fourth angel poured out his vial upon the sun; and power was given unto him to scorch men with fire. Revelation 16:8

Then he'll burn people to death all by himself.

Fire came down from God out of heaven, and devoured them. Revelation 20:9

And throw the rest into a lake of fire to be tortured forever.

The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb: And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever. Revelation 14:10-11
And the fifth angel poured out his vial upon the seat of the beast; and his kingdom was full of darkness; and they gnawed their tongues for pain, And blasphemed the God of heaven because of their pains and their sores, and repented not of their deeds. Revelation 16:10-11
And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire. Revelation 20:15
But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death. Revelation 21:8

And that is how a truly vicious god would bring about the end of the world.


The Wise Fool said...

Glenn Beck: Continuing to prove that the Bible is the biggest, best-sellingest book never read!

J Brian said...

Reinforces the idea that the central focus of christianity is violence.

Jonathan Blake said...

I once (while a believer) suggested to someone that the soundtrack for Jesus' second coming should be performed by a heavy metal band. He looked at me like I had grown a nipple on my forehead, but my suggestion was in line with the tone of Revelation.

Dan said...

As one of those rare conservative non-theists, I use to enjoy listening to Beck as a respite from the ever-serious Limbaugh and Savage. He changed at some point maybe when he went to Fox, I don't know. He lost his sense of humor and became preachy. After a while the humor was completely gone and it was all end of the world- get right with God stuff. That was when he lost me. In watching the video I was reminded of why I tuned him out. He has since lost 30% of his audience and I think it is because of the religious crap.

nazani said...

I've visited Patmos, and it is the proverbial desert island. You wouldn't have to be there too long before you started hallucinating beasts. I have to commend the Romans for being so merciful that they merely exiled John the Nutter instead of killing him for badmouthing the empire- I just wish they'd taken away his writing materials.