And they fell on their faces

A recent tweet by StaticDespair was titled "The people in Bible times were too dramatic" and had a link to this image:

And it got me to thinking.

People in the Bible do some strange things when they get upset  They fall on their faces, tear their clothes, put sackcloth on their loins, and rub dirt on their heads. Stuff like that. 

So I wondered, how many times, and under what circumstances, did people in the Bible do these things.

Here is my attempt to summarize it for you. 

They fell on their faces.

1. When Abram was ninety years old and nine, the LORD appeared to Abram ... and Abram fell on his face. Genesis 17:1-3
   
   
2. Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?. Genesis 17:17
   
   
3. And there came a fire out from before the LORD ... and ... when all the people saw, they shouted, and fell on their faces. Leviticus 9:24
   
   
4. Then Moses and Aaron fell on their faces. Numbers 14:5
   
   
5. And when Moses heard it, he fell upon his face. Numbers 16:4
   
   
6. And the LORD spake unto Moses and unto Aaron, saying, Separate yourselves from among this congregation, that I may consume them in a moment. And they fell upon their faces. Numbers 16:20-22
   
   
7. And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, Get you up from among this congregation, that I may consume them as in a moment. And they fell upon their faces. Numbers 16:44-45
   
   
8. And they fell upon their faces: and the glory of the LORD appeared unto them. Numbers 20:6
   
   
9. Then the LORD opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and he ... fell flat on his face. Numbers 22:31
   
   
10. Joshua ... lifted up his eyes and looked, and, behold, there stood a man over against him with his sword drawn in his hand ... And Joshua fell on his face. Joshua 5:14
    
    
11. And Joshua ... fell to the earth upon his face before the ark of the LORD until the eventide. Joshua 7:6
    
    
12. The angel of the LORD ascended in the flame of the altar. And Manoah and his wife looked on it, and fell on their faces. Judges 13:20
    
    
13. Then she fell on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, and said unto him, Why have I found grace in thine eyes? Ruth 2:10
    
    
14. David ... fell on his face to the ground, and bowed himself three times: and they kissed one another, and wept one with another, until David exceeded. 1 Samuel 20:41
    
    
15. Mephibosheth ... fell on his face. 2 Samuel 9:6
    
    
16. The woman of Tekoah ... fell on her face. 2 Samuel 14:4
17. Joab fell to the ground on his face. 2 Samuel 14:22
18. Ahimaaz ... fell ... upon his face. 2 Samuel 18:28
    
    
19. As Obadiah was in the way, behold, Elijah met him: and he knew him, and fell on his face, and said, Art thou that my lord Elijah? 1 Kings 18:7
    
    
20. And when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces. 1 Kings 18:39
    
    
21. David lifted up his eyes, and saw the angel of the LORD stand between the earth and the heaven, having a drawn sword in his hand stretched out over Jerusalem.Then David and the elders of Israel, who were clothed in sackcloth, fell upon their faces. 1 Chronicles 21:16
    
    
22. I saw ... the appearance of his loins  ...This was ... the glory of the LORD. And when I saw it, I fell upon my face. Ezekiel 1:27-28
    
    
23. Behold, the glory of the Lord stood there ... and I fell on my face. Ezekiel 3:23
    
    
24. While they were slaying them ... I fell on my face. Ezekiel 9:8
    
    
25. And it came to pass, when I prophesied, that Pelatiah the son of Benaiah died. Then fell I down upon my face.  Ezekiel 11:13
    
    
26. And, behold, the glory of the God of Israel came ... and his voice was like a noise of many waters ... and I fell upon my face. Ezekiel 43:2-3
    
    
27. Behold, the glory of the LORD filled the house of the LORD: and I fell upon my face. Ezekiel 44:4
    
    
28. King Nebuchadnezzar fell upon his face, and worshiped Daniel. Daniel 2:46
    
    
29. I was afraid, and fell upon my face. Daniel 8:17
    
    
30. And when the disciples heard it, they fell on their face. Matthew 17:6
    
    
31. And he went a little farther, and fell on his face. Matthew 26:39
    
    
32. A man full of leprosy... fell on his face. Luke 5:12
33. And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God, And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan. Luke 17:15-16
34. All the angels ... and the four beasts ... fell before the throne on their faces. Revelation 7:11
    
    
35. The four and twenty elders ... fell upon their faces. Revelation 11:16

They rent their clothes.

1. Reuben returned unto the pit; and, behold, Joseph was not in the pit; and he rent his clothes. Genesis 37:29
   
2. And Jacob rent his clothes Genesis 37:34
3. They speedily took down every man his sack to the ground, and opened every man his sack ...  and the cup was found in Benjamin's sack. Then they rent their clothes. Genesis 44:12-13
4. And Joshua ... and Caleb ... rent their clothes. Numbers 14:6
   
   
5. Jephthah came to ... his house, and, behold, his daughter came out to meet him with timbrels and with dances ... And it came to pass, when he saw her, that he rent his clothes. Judges 11:34-35
6. Samuel ... laid hold upon the skirt of his mantle, and it rent. 1 Samuel 15:27-28
7. Then David took hold on his clothes, and rent them; and likewise all the men that were with him. 2 Samuel 1:11
   
   
8. David said to Joab, and to all the people that were with him, Rend your clothes. 2 Samuel 3:31
9. And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying. 2 Samuel 13:19
10. Then the king arose, and tare his garments, and lay on the earth; and all his servants stood by with their clothes rent. 2 Samuel 13:31
11. Ahijah caught the new garment that was on him, and rent it in twelve pieces ... for thus saith the LORD, the God of Israel, Behold, I will rend the kingdom out of the hand of Solomon. 1 Kings 11:30-31
    
    
12. When Ahab heard those words, that he rent his clothes. 1 Kings 21:27
    
    
13. And Elisha saw it, and he cried, My father, my father ... and he took hold of his own clothes, and rent them in two pieces. 2 Kings 2:12
    
    
14. When the king of Israel had read the letter ... he rent his clothes. 2 Kings 5:7
    
    
15. When Elisha the man of God had heard that the king of Israel had rent his clothes, that he sent to the king, saying, Wherefore hast thou rent thy clothes? 2 Kings 5:8
    
    
16. So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him. And it came to pass, when the king heard the words of the woman ... he rent his clothes. 2 Kings 6:30
    
    
17. When king Hezekiah heard it, that he rent his clothes. 2 Kings 19:1
    
    
18. When the king had heard the words of the book of the law, that he rent his clothes. 2 Kings 22:11
    
    
19. Because ... thou ... hast rent thy clothes ... I also have heard thee, saith the LORD. 2 Kings 22:19
     
20. Then Athaliah rent her clothes, and said, Treason, Treason. 2 Chronicles 23:13
21. Because thine heart was tender ... didst rend thy clothes, and weep before me; I have even heard thee also, saith the LORD. 2 Chronicles 34:27


22. Mordecai rent his clothes ... and went out into the midst of the city, and cried with a loud and a bitter cry. Esther 4:1
    
    
23. When they lifted up their eyes afar off ... they lifted up their voice, and wept; and they rent every one his mantle. Job 2:12
    
    
24. When king Hezekiah heard it, that he rent his clothes ... and went into the house of the LORD. Isaiah 37:1
25. There came certain from Shechem, from Shiloh, and from Samaria, even fourscore men, having their beards shaven, and their clothes rent, and having cut themselves, with offerings and incense in their hand, to bring them to the house of the LORD. Jeremiah 41:5
26. Then the high priest rent his clothes. Matthew 26:65, Mark 14:63
    
27. Therefore also now, saith the Lord ... ren your heart, and not your garments. Joel 2:12-13


28. When the apostles, Barnabas and Paul, heard of, they rent their clothes, and ran in among the people, crying out, and saying, Sirs, why do ye these things? Acts 14:4
    
    
29. The magistrates rent off their clothes, and commanded to beat them. Acts 16:22

They put sackcloth on their loins

1. Jacob ... put sackcloth upon his loins, and mourned for his son many days. Genesis 37:34
2. David said to Joab, and to all the people that were with him ... gird you with sackcloth. 2 Samuel 3:31
3. And his servants said unto him ... let us, I pray thee, put sackcloth on our loins, and ropes upon our heads ... So they girded sackcloth on their loins, and put ropes on their heads. 1 Kings 20:31-32
4. When Ahab heard those words, that he rent his clothes, and put sackcloth upon his flesh, and fasted, and lay in sackcloth, and went softly. 1 Kings 21:27
5. When the king heard the words of the woman ... he passed by upon the wall, and the people looked, and, behold, he had sackcloth within upon his flesh. 2 Kings 6:30
6. When king Hezekiah heard it, he ... covered himself with sackcloth, and went into the house of the LORD. 2 Kings 19:1
7. David and the elders of Israel ... were clothed in sackcloth. 1 Chronicles 21:16
8. Mordecai ... put on sackcloth with ashes, and went out into the midst of the city, and cried with a loud and a bitter cry. Esther 4:1
9. There was great mourning among the Jews, and fasting, and weeping, and wailing; and many lay in sackcloth and ashes. Esther 4:3
10. I have sewed sackcloth upon my skin, and defiled my horn in the dust. Job 16:15
11. I made sackcloth also my garment; and I became a proverb to them. Psalm 69:11
12. And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle a rent; and instead of well set hair baldness; and instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth. Isaiah 3:24
13. On all their heads shall be baldness, and every beard cut off ... they shall gird themselves with sackcloth ... every one shall howl, weeping abundantly. Isaiah 15:2-3
14. At the same time spake the LORD ... saying, Go and loose the sackcloth from off thy loins ... and he did so, walking naked. Isaiah 20:2
15. In that day did the Lord GOD of hosts call ... to girding with sackcloth. Isaiah 22:12
16. Tremble, ye women that are at ease; be troubled, ye careless ones: strip you, and make you bare, and gird sackcloth upon your loins. Isaiah 32: 11
17. When king Hezekiah heard it ... he ... covered himself with sackcloth, and went into the house of the LORD. Isaiah 37:1
18. Gird you with sackcloth, lament and howl: for the fierce anger of the LORD is not turned back from us. Jeremiah 4:8
19. Gird thee with sackcloth, and wallow thyself in ashes. Jeremiah 6:26
20. Every head shall be bald, and every beard clipped: upon all the hands shall be cuttings, and upon the loins sackcloth. Jeremiah 48:37
21. Gird you with sackcloth; lament, and run to and fro by the hedges. Jeremiah 49:3
22. The elders of the daughter of Zion sit upon the ground, and ... have girded themselves with sackcloth. Lamentation 2:10
23. They shall also gird themselves with sackcloth, and horror shall cover them; and shame shall be upon all faces, and baldness upon all their heads. Ezekiel 7:18
24. And they shall make themselves utterly bald for thee, and gird them with sackcloth, and they shall weep for thee with bitterness of heart and bitter wailing. Ezekiel 27:31
25. I set my face unto the Lord God ... with ... sackcloth, and ashes. Daniel 9:3
26. Lament like a virgin girded with sackcloth for the husband of her youth. Joel 1:8
27. Gird yourselves, and ... howl ... lie all night in sackcloth. Joel 1:13
28. I will turn your feasts into mourning, and all your songs into lamentation; and I will bring up sackcloth upon all loins, and baldness upon every head; and I will make it as the mourning of an only son, and the end thereof as a bitter day. Amos 8:10
29. So the people of Nineveh believed God ... and put on sackcloth, from the greatest of them even to the least of them. Jonah 3:5
30. The king of Nineveh ... laid his robe from him, and covered him with sackcloth, and sat in ashes. Jonah 3:6
31. Let man and beast be covered with sackcloth, and cry mightily unto God. Jonah 3:8
32. Woe unto thee, Chorazin! woe unto thee, Bethsaida! for if the mighty works, which were done in you, had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. Matthew 11:4, Luke 10:13
33. I will give power unto my two witnesses, and they shall prophesy a thousand two hundred and threescore days, clothed in sackcloth..Revelation 11:3

And they put dust on their heads.

1. Joshua ... and the elders of Israel ... put dust upon their heads. Joshua 7:6
2. And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying. 2 Samuel 13:19


3. When they lifted up their eyes afar off, and knew him not, they lifted up their voice, and wept and ... sprinkled dust upon their heads. Job 2:12
   
   
4. The elders of the daughter of Zion sit upon the ground, and have cast up dust upon their heads. Lamentations 2:10
   
   
5. The mariners ... shall cast up dust upon their heads. Ezekiel 27:29-30
   
   
6. Roll thyself in the dust ... having thy shame naked. Micah 1:10-11
   
   
7. They cried out, and cast off their clothes, and threw dust into the air. Acts 22:22

Let me know if I left anything out.

Bill Maher: I am not an Islamophobe, I am a truth lover.

 Here's an excerpt.

Levin: It's not like it's people who are Muslim who do wacky things have a monopoly on it. We have hypocrites across faiths...

Maher: You know what, that is liberal bullshit right there. 

Levin: There are no religious hypocrites? You made a career on that.

Maher: They're not as dangerous. There's only one only one faith, for example, that kills you, or wants to kill you, if you draw a bad cartoon of the prophet. There's only on faith that kills you, or wants to kill you, if you renounce the faith. An ex-Muslim is a very dangerous thing. Talk to Salman Rushdie after the show about Christian versus Islam. 

Levin: I have a girl for you, Pam Geller, you can maybe meet.

Maher: I don't know what that means.

Levin: Well, she's an Islamophobe.

Maher: I'm not an Islamophobe, That's wrong. I am a truth lover. All religions are not alike.

Bill Maher is right: It's time to drop the liberal bullshit.

All religions are not the same. Let's stop pretending like they are.

That they all may be one: John 17 and the futility of prayer

Jesus didn't pray much in the gospels, but in John 17, he really got carried away.

He goes on and on for 24 verses, asking his father to glorify him with the same glory that he had back before the universe was created.

These words spake Jesus, and lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, Father, the hour is come; glorify thy Son ... And now, O Father, glorify thou me ... with the glory which I had with thee before the world was. John 17:1-5

It's pretty boring stuff, until he says this:

Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word;

That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.  John 17:20-23

From which we can conclude two things:

1. Nothing fails like prayer (even when Jesus does the praying), and
   
2. God didn't send Jesus.

The First Plague of Egypt: God forced the Egyptians to drink human blood

Okay, I could use some help with this one.

Remember the first of the famous ten plagues of Egypt? The plague of blood?

Well, I didn’t include it in God's killings since the text in Exodus didn't say that anyone died. But now I'm not so sure.

Here’s the story from Exodus 7.

God told Moses to tell Aaron to smite all the water in Egypt with his rod (the one that he previously turned into a serpent and then back into a rod in Exodus 7:9-12), which will change the water into blood.

And the LORD spake unto Moses, Say unto Aaron, Take thy rod, and stretch out thine hand upon the waters of Egypt, upon their streams, upon their rivers, and upon their ponds, and upon all their pools of water, that they may become blood; and that there may be blood throughout all the land of Egypt; both in vessels of wood, and in vessels of stone. v.19

And Moses and Aaron did so, as the LORD commanded. v.20

And it worked as planned. The fish died, the river stank, and the Egyptians had no water to drink.

And the fish that was in the river died; and the river stank, and the Egyptians could not drink of the water of the river; and there was blood throughout all the land of Egypt. v.21

For seven days, apparently.

And seven days were fulfilled, after that the LORD had smitten the river. v.25

Which must have killed some people, since, even under the most favorable conditions, a person can’t survive for more than a few days without water.

And then there's this from the book of Wisdom.

Instead of a fountain of an ever running river, thou gavest human blood to the unjust ... shewing ... how thou ... didst kill their adversaries. Wisdom 11:7-9

Although it isn't entirely clear to me, this passage seems to refer to the first plague of Egypt.

Here's the helpful note from the Douay-Reims Bible.

God ... wrought a miracle to punish the Egyptians by thirst, when he turned all their waters into blood, (at which time the Israelites, who were exempt from those plagues, had plenty of water,) wrought another miracle in favour of his own people in their thirst, by giving them water out of the rock.

So the first plague involved human blood! 

Where did God get so much blood? Enough blood to fill the Nile River? 

Did God kill people just to use their blood in the first plague? Or did he create the human blood from scratch?

And since at least some of the Egyptians refused to drink the human blood that God provided, some of them must have died of thirst. 
In any case, in one way or another, some Egyptians died in the first plague. But how many?

Let me know if you have any suggestions for arriving at an estimate.