Happy Jesus-in-hell day!

Descent into Hell by Michael Burghers

Now that Jesus is dead (they killed him in the Philippines on Good Friday), we can celebrate what happened after he died.

Happy Jesus-in-Hell Day!

Most Christians (well, Protestants, anyway) don't know this, but Jesus went directly to hell after he died.

Really, he did. It says so in the Bible.

He [David] seeing this before spake of the resurrection of Christ, that his soul was not left in hell, neither his flesh did see corruption. Acts 2:31

The above quote is from the speech that Peter gave on the day of Pentecost -- you know, the day that believers spoke in languages they didn't understand and acted like they were drunk.

So it must be true. (If you can't trust a drunken Pentecostal preacher who was also the first pope, who can you trust?)

There are a couple of other references to Jesus's day in hell by someone who claimed to be Peter, but wasn't.

Here's what the forger of 1 Peter said about it.

Christ ... went and preached unto the spirits in prison. 1 Peter 3:19

For this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead. 1 Peter 4:6

So Jesus preached the gospel to the dead people "in prison" -- that is, to the people in hell.

And then there's this from Ephesians (another forgery, this time attributed to Paul).

Christ ... descended first into the lower parts of the earth. He that descended is the same also that ascended up far above all heavens, that he might fill all things. Ephesians 4:7-9

So Jesus descended "into the lower parts of the earth" -- which, as we all know, is where hell is.

Of course, Catholics know all this. They are reminded every time they attend mass or say the rosary, because it's right there in The Apostles' Creed.

I believe in God, the Father almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, and in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried; he descended into hell....

So get out and celebrate Jesus's descent into hell.

Here are some cool pictures that Jesus took during his visit to inspire you.

The first is a photo of a very tall Jesus meeting Adam and Eve as they come out of their demon-mouth house.

Here's one, on Saturday night, after Jesus put on his transparent robe.

And here's Jesus in a hurry to meet the ladies of hell.

Here's Jesus delivering the sermon from hell.

And here he is Sunday morning before heading back to the tomb.

So to hell with Easter. Celebrate Jesus-in-Hell Day instead!