New Rule: A Religious Test with Bill Maher

Okay, this "New Rule" is a bit old (It was on Bill Maher's 21 Sept 2007 Real Time show), but it's a good rule to follow.

New rule: just because the constitution doesn't have a religious test for office, doesn't mean I can't.
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If you believe you're in a long-term relationship with an all-powerful space daddy who will, after you die, party with your ghost forever, you can't have my vote....
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Maybe a president who didn't believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.

Mitt Romney is right about the Bible

It's boring!

Here's what Romney said about it:

I find myself having to read for an hour or so before I can fall asleep. And thanks to the Gideons, I've got good material.

Yes, Mitt is right about that. The Bible is boring. So boring, in fact, I've considered adding it as a separate category at the SAB. Try reading 1 Chronicles sometime. Now that's good Romney bedtime reading material.

But Mitt should give the Book of Mormon a try when he has trouble sleeping. Here's what Mark Twain said about it:

The book is a curiosity to me, it is such a pretentious affair, and yet so "slow," so sleepy; such an insipid mess of inspiration. It is chloroform in print. If Joseph Smith composed this book, the act was a miracle--keeping awake while he did it was, at any rate.

Try the Mitt Romney bedtime test yourself.

Which do you think is more boring?

Landover Baptist Pastor Preaches to Atheists

Jesus, I love to hear Pastor Deacon Fred preach! Here are some excerpts.

When the Lord gets a bee in his bonnet about something, he turns into a killing machine.
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Now anyone familiar with this wonderful book [the Bible] will know that if there's one thing that the Lord enjoys more than making free booze at wedding parties, it is killing.
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Hosea 13:16 says, 'The people of Samaria must bear their guilt because they have rebelled against their God. They will fall by the sword. Their little ones will be dashed open. Their pregnant women, ripped to pieces.'
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Yes that's right. God wants us to constitutionally ban abortion, but he's not above using it to get back at folks that tick him off.
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We have an invisible friend on our side who is more powerful and diabolical than this Mohammad fella.

Glory!

It's about time someone sued God: Thanks Ernie!

A while back I counted the number of people killed by God in the Bible. I found a total of 2,270,971 (not including cases in which numbers are not given). Now you'd think that a guy with that many killings would have been accused and hopefully convicted of murder by now. Especially when the killer is so darned proud of his killings. But no. No one has ever taken God to court. Until now, that is.

But today Ernie Chambers, a Nebraska State Senator, filed suit in district court (Chambers v. God) against God for making terrorist threats and causing "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects, and the like."

To which I would add, "and admitted to the killing of 2,270,971 people."

In the beginning ...

God created the heaven and the earth. (Genesis 1:1)

What an opportunity for God (assuming there is a God who had something to do with the Bible) to reveal himself to us all. All that he needed to do is tell us just when the beginning was. Was it a relatively recent event (like a few thousand years ago) or is the universe immensely old (say 13.7 billion years)?

We had no idea, none at all, about the true age of the universe until the last few hundred years. All God had to do was tell us that it was really, really old -- over a million times as old as nearly everyone thought it was. That would have been some impressive evidence for the God of the Bible.

But the Bible's God is a young earth creationist. For although the Bible's begats do not provide a clear creation date (though many believers believe that they do), they do provide a range of possible dates. The universe (if you believe in the Bible) is 5500 to 7500 years old.

So right from the start we know the Bible is wrong. The universe is about 2 million times older than the Bible says that it is.