28 May 2007

Getting a tan from the Book of Mormon

The Book of Mormon is black and white about skin color.

White skin is good and "delightsome"; black skin is bad and "loathsome". In fact, God created dark skin just to punish people for their bad behavior.

And he had caused the cursing to come upon them, yea, even a sore cursing, because of their iniquity ... wherefore, as they were white, and exceedingly fair and delightsome, that they might not be enticing unto my people the Lord God did cause a skin of blackness to come upon them. And thus saith the Lord God: I will cause that they shall be loathsome unto thy people. 2 Nephi 5:21-22
This color-coding scheme was designed by God to separate the good from the bad and to keep them forever separate. God will curse the children that result from any "seed mixing".
And cursed shall be the seed of him that mixeth with their seed; for they shall be cursed even with the same cursing. And the Lord spake it, and it was done. 2 Nephi 5:23
And the difference between the races is much more than skin deep. God not only darkened the skin of people of color; he made them lazy, wild, and mischievous, as well.
And because of their cursing which was upon them they did become an idle people, full of mischief and subtlety, and did seek in the wilderness for beasts of prey. 2 Nephi 5:24

[But people of color shouldn't give up all hope. God's curse can be undone, at least in certain circumstances. An especially well-behaved dark-skinned person may become white and delightsome again! (See 3 Nephi 2:14-16)]

And readers of this blog should take note: God may cause your skin to darken if you spend your time dwindling in unbelief.

And the angel said unto me: Behold these shall dwindle in unbelief. And it came to pass that I beheld, after they had dwindled in unbelief they became a dark, and loathsome, and a filthy people, full of idleness and all manner of abominations. 1 Nephi 12:22-23
But then, that might not be such a bad thing. You'll be loathsome, filthy, lazy, and abominable to God, but you'll get a nice, safe tan out of it!

9 comments:

mel said...

Nice one, Steve.

It really amazes me that modern Mormons talk about how JS was no racist, that he ordained black men and ... blah, blah, blah. From a believing perspective this seem fair enough, then only god was a racist and that's his prerogative. But of course JS was a racist who wrote a book that makes it appear as though racism is godly. How convenient.

An people still don't get why Dawkins, Harris, et al think religion is bad?

Cristiano said...

Yeah, people tend to create their gods like a mirror of themselves.

sattvicwarrior said...

i LOVE your blog. your brilliant. . wish i had your eloquence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mary said...

joseph smith was a racist snake oil salesman!

supposedly hated indians!

McGuire said...

I'd heartily recommend following this post up by watching South Park's "All About Mormons" episode ;)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_About_Mormons

Though curiously their heaven IS only populated by Mormons ;)

Big Orange (a.k.a. "Uncle Moonpie") said...

do Mormons ever actually READ that book they carry 'round??

Robert said...

Their bible sounds like it is horribly written by some half-intelligent racist. Mormons are half-retarded. My God says Mormons are the devil!

Moses said...

It is very telling that LDS/Mormons en masse do not laugh at this notion. Surely there have been evils committed by mass murderers, Facist dictators, and tyrants of every stripe that have warranted "the curse." How, for example, did Adolph Hitler escape said curse for killing millions, but Cain only killed his brother... Mind boggling.

Further, the whole "dwindling in unbelief" as an explanation for Native American skin color, apart from being mind numbingly absurd, is also clearly avoided by nearly the entire planet of unbelievers.

I actually live in Utah, and am in a constant state of awe and wonder at many of my fellow 'Ewe-tawns.'
I suppose the only thing you really need to know about this state is that George W. Bush still enjoys a greater than 60% approval rating....

[fade into banjo music]

Ryan said...

The weird thing is, people of color actually do subscribe to Mormonism! I don't know if it's because they expect to be saved or because they ignore that part of the Book of Mormon, but they still consider themselves to be good Mormons.

I have an aunt who's Filipino and at least CALLS herself a Mormon, but then she also votes Democrat. That seems a bit liberal for a Mormon, but maybe I just haven't met many. I'm glad she is so liberal, but I think it's hypocritical to go against church doctrine, and to say you're going to heaven when YOUR OWN RELIGION says that by definition you are wrong.