All the fat is the Lord's.-- Leviticus 3:16Even God's sword is fat (and bloody).
The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness. -- Isaiah 34:6God likes fat animals, too. He plans to feed people to to them to make them even fatter.
Thus saith the Lord GOD; Speak unto every feathered fowl, and to every beast of the field ... Ye shall eat the flesh of the mighty, and drink the blood of the princes of the earth ... And ye shall eat fat till ye be full, and drink blood till ye be drunken, of my sacrifice which I have sacrificed for you. -- Ezekiel 39:17-19God makes the diligent fat. (Lazy people are skinny and poor.)
The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat. -- Proverbs 13:4God makes liberals fat, too. (I guess religious liberals should be the fattest of all.)
The liberal soul shall be made fat. -- Proverbs 11:25If you trust God, he will make you fat. (So if you want to lose weight, don't trust him.)
He that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat. -- Proverbs 28:25Being fat is is sure sign of righteousness. (Wicked people are skinny and hungry.)
The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree ... they shall be fat. -- Psalm 92:12-14How to tell the good from the bad: Good people are fat and get plenty to eat; the wicked are the ones who go hungry.
The righteous eateth to the satisfying of his soul: but the belly of the wicked shall want.-- Proverbs 13:25So don't bother with the diet. Trust in God and be good, righteous, diligent, an liberal. And fat.
|God - He's just a fat fairy|