Don Savage has a great idea: A Masturbate to Christine O'Donnell Day! (Or actually 41 days -- every day until the election on November 2nd.)
Christine O'Donnell is the Tea Party wacko who won the Republican nomination for a U.S. Senate seat in Delaware. She is famous for three things: getting her loony ass endorsed by Sarah Palin, viciously gay-baiting her straight primary opponent, and opposing masturbation because it makes the baby Jesus cry.
I'm all for masturbating to Christine O'Donnell, HATEFUCK, but why limit it to one day? So I hereby declare every day between now and November 2 — when O'Donnell's nomination costs the GOP a Senate seat — to be Masturbate to Christine O'Donnell Day. Rub one out for freedom, people!
Still, I think it would be even better to declare a single day for committing adultery (in your heart, so to speak) with Christine O'Donnell. This is something everyone can do by him-or-herself and yet enjoy with millions of others at the same time (with Christine O'D's help, of course).
What do you think? A single day or 41 days? And if a single day, which day would be best?
How about Halloween, since she dabbled in witchcraft? Or October 30, the day of the Rally to Restore Sanity and the March to Keep Fear Alive? I don't know. On the one hand, I wonder if people would be too busy rallying and marching to take care of their O'D business. But on the other hand, it would give those of us who can't attend something else to do.
In any case, whether one day or 41, using one hand or the other, let's all make up our minds to do it together, alone.