26 February 2013

Jesus H. Christ: Does anyone know his name?

The answer to that question is "No", according to the Bible anyway. 
His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself. Revelation 19:12
So although we know what Jesus looks like (he has flaming red eyes and wears many crowns on this head -- you'll know him when you see him), we don't know his name. No one does.

Except for those that do, that is.

Like his foster father, Joseph, who named him Jesus. (An angel told him what to name him in a dream.)
The angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS. Matthew 1:21
And Matthew (misinterpreting Isaiah), who said he'd be named Emmanuel.
A virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel. Matthew 1:23 
Remember how the book of Revelation said that nobody knows Jesus' name? Well, I guess the author didn't include himself. Here are some of his favorite names for Jesus.
I am Alpha and Omega. Revelation 1:8
Behold, the Lion of the tribe of Juda, the Root of David, hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof. Revelation 5:5
I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. Revelation 19:11
He was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God. Revelation 9:13
He hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS. Revelation 19:16 (What does Jesus have written on his testicles?)
I am the root and the offspring of David, and the bright and morning star. Revelation 22:16 (How are Jesus and Satan alike?)
So Jesus, contrary to Revelation 19:12, has lots of names. And I have another contradiction to add to the SAB. (Here it is.)

(ht Stephen Weeks)

9 comments:

TWF said...

If we are including prophetic names, Isaiah 9:6 should also be referenced for "Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

Steve Wells said...

Thanks TWF,

I'm not sure what to do with the prophetic names. They didn't really refer to Jesus, though Christians pretend otherwise. But maybe these names should be included somehow.

I'd be interested in comments on this from both believers and skeptics.

godhatesyeast said...

Just got my SAB.

Absolutely beautiful. A work of art.

James D said...

Hi Steve,

Here's another contradiction for you (probably belongs in the Prophecy category): 2Ch 36.22 describes something as "the word of the LORD by the mouth of Jeremiah" then quotes Isaiah 44.28. Yes, I know this is really a text critical issue, but the fundies won't like it either way...

Steve Wells said...

Thanks godhatesyeast!

I'm glad you like the new SAB book. Let me know if you find mistakes or have suggestions for improving future editions.

Steve Wells said...

Thanks James D. I added a note for 2 Chr 36:22.

leisurelyviking said...

The H stands for haploid. Teehee.

Jesus follower said...

The names that were mentioned in previous books, referred to Jesus Christ as he was to be born as a humanbeing. The book of revelation was written for a future revelation of Jesus Christ, and so was the name that no one knew. The most evident thing about the Holy Scripture, is writen in the book of the Acts 1:9, "And when he had spoken these things, while they beheld, he was taken up; and a cloud received him out of their sight." And he has a name that no one Knew, but he himself. If you have three names, but people only know two of them; do they know the third one?

az said...

Is Jesus a Muslim Prophet? http://www.scribd.com/doc/193487618/IS-PROPHET-JESUS-AS-A-MUSLIM-PROPHET

Bible says that woman must cover head and wear veil
http://www.scribd.com/doc/194530800/BIBLE-SAYS-THAT-WOMAN-MUST-COVER-HEAD-AND-WEAR-VEIL