22 October 2014

The Mormon church shows off its magic underwear (and then lies about them)

I guess we should be used to it by now.

In the last year or so, the official website of the LDS church has produced a series of videos that lie about address some of its more well-known (and absurd) beliefs.

First they admitted they were wrong about race (while keeping their racist beliefs); then they pretended to deny (but didn't) that Mormon men get their own planets after they die; and they admitted that Joseph Smith didn't translate the Book of Abraham.

Now they are exposing their magic underwear in front of God and everybody.

Of course, they insist that their magic underwear are neither magic nor underwear.

Many faithful Latter Day Saints wear a garment under their clothing that has deep religious significance. Similar in design to modern, modest underclothing, it comes in two pieces and is usually referred to as "the temple garment."

Some people incorrectly refer to temple garments as "magical" or "magic underwear." These words are not only inaccurate, but also offensive to members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. There is nothing magical or mystical about temple garments....

And yet temple garments are underwear since they are garments worn under clothing, similar to "modern, modest underclothing."

And Mormons believe that their underwear are magic, as the official LDS church handbook makes clear:

When properly worn, it provides protection against temptation and evil.

So if you wear the special underwear properly, they will protect you against temptation and evil.

Sounds like magic underwear to me.

Still, for the magic to work, you've got to wear the underwear properly, day and night. Don't ever take them off, if you can help it. And if you can't help it, put them back on as soon as possible.

Endowed members should wear the temple garment both day and night. They should not remove it, either entirely or partially, to work in the yard or for other activities that can reasonably be done with the garment worn properly beneath the clothing. Nor should they remove it to lounge around the home in swimwear or immodest clothing. When they must remove the garment, such as for swimming, they should put it back on as soon as possible.

The underwear are sacred and must be treated with respect. Keep them clean, off the floor, and don't hang them to dry in places where the neighbors might see them.

The garment is sacred and should be treated with respect at all times. Garments should be kept off the floor. They should also be kept clean and mended. After garments are washed, they should not be hung in public areas to dry.

And for God's sake, don't display your magic underwear in front of the gentiles (non-Mormons).

Nor should they be displayed or exposed to the view of people who do not understand their significance.

Oops, I guess the LDS church just broke its own rule on that one!


For a much more honest look at the LDS church's magic underwear, see this video from The Thinking Atheist:

3 comments:

Stephen said...

Thanks for the update, Steve. You couldn't make this stuff up!
(Oh, wait... somebody DID!)
Steve Weeks

Yark Hutprancer said...

I'd like a list of all the people who committed some sexual sin while wearing these undergarments. I would bet that list would be pretty long. Which would mean that they DON'T protect against temptation and evil.

But believers don't care about reality. Reality takes a back seat to comforting belief.

Max S. said...

I know some people joke about having "lucky underwear", but the LDS church is taking it too far.