30 August 2006

God's uncounted and uncountable killings

In a previous post, I counted the number of people that were killed by God in the Bible. I came up with 2,270,365, but that didn't include the many massacres for which no body count is given. So, for the sake of completeness, I figured I ought to at least provide a list of God's un-named and un-numbered victims.
  1. God drowns everyone on earth.
    Genesis 7:21-23, Brick Testament

  2. God rains fire and brimstone on Sodom and Gomorrah, killing everyone.
    Genesis 19:24, BT

  3. God kills all the firstborn Egyptian children.
    Exodus 12:29, BT

  4. God drowns Pharaoh's army in the sea.
    Exodus 14:4-28, BT

  5. God and Moses help Joshua kill the Amalekites.
    Exodus 17:13, BT

  6. God burned to death an unknown number for complaining.
    Numbers 11:1, BT

  7. God sent a plague for complaining about the food.
    Numbers 11:33, BT

  8. God killed those who murmured with a plague.
    Numbers 14:36-37, BT

  9. Massacre of the Aradites
    Numbers 21:3, BT

  10. For complaining about the lack of food and water, God sent fiery serpents to bite the people, and many of them died.
    Numbers 21:6, BT

  11. God delivers the Bashanites into Moses' hands and Moses kills everyone "until their was none left alive."
    Numbers 21:34-35, BT

  12. The slaughter of the Anakim, the childen of Esau, and the Horims
    A people great, and many, and tall, as the Anakims; but the LORD destroyed them ... As he did to the children of Esau, which dwelt in Seir, when he destroyed the Horims from before them. -- Deuteronomy 2:21-22

  13. God hardened the king of Heshbon's heart so that the Israelites could massacre his people.
    And the LORD our God delivered him before us; and we smote him, and his sons, and all his people. And we took all his cities at that time, and utterly destroyed the men, and the women, and the little ones, of every city, we left none to remain: -- Deuteronomy 2:33-34, BT

  14. God delievered the king of Bashan so that the Israelites could massacre his people. (60 cities)
    So the LORD our God delivered into our hands Og also, the king of Bashan, and all his people: and we smote him until none was left to him remaining. ... And we utterly destroyed them, as we did unto Sihon king of Heshbon, utterly destroying the men, women, and children, of every city. -- Deuteronomy 3:3-6, BT

  15. Massacre of Jericho
    And they utterly destroyed all that was in the city [Jericho], both man and woman, young and old, and ox, and sheep, and ass, with the edge of the sword. -- Joshua 6:21, BT

  16. God slaughters the Amorites and even chases them "along the way" as they try to escape.
    And the LORD discomfited them before Israel, and slew them with a great slaughter at Gibeon, and chased them along the way ... the LORD cast down great stones from heaven upon them unto Azekah, and they died: they were more which died with hailstones than they whom the children of Israel slew with the sword. -- Joshua 10:10-11

  17. Massacre of Makkedah
    Joshua 10:28, BT

  18. Massacre of Libnah
    Joshua 10:29-30, BT

  19. Massacre of Lachish
    Joshua 10:32, BT

  20. Massacre of Gezer
    Joshua 10:33, BT

  21. Massacre of Eglon
    Joshua 10:34-35, BT

  22. Massacre of Hebron
    Joshua 10:36-37, BT

  23. Massacre of Debir
    Joshua 10:38-39, BT

  24. God delivers the Hazorites.
    The LORD delivered them into the hand of Israel ... and they smote them, until they left them none remaining. -- Joshua 11:8-12, BT

  25. Massacre of the Anakim
    Joshua 11:20-21, BT

  26. Massacre of the Canaanites
    Judges 4:15, BT

  27. God delivered the Ammonites to Jephthah to slaughter.
    The LORD delivered them into [Jephthah's] hands. And he smote them ... with a very great slaughter. -- Judges 11:32-33

  28. God forces the Philistine soldiers to kill each other.
    Every man's sword was against his fellow, and there was a very great discomfiture. -- 1 Samuel 14:20

  29. God orders Saul to kill every Amalekite man, women, and child.
    Thus saith the LORD of hosts ... go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass. ... And Saul smote the Amalekites ... and utterly destroyed all the people with the edge of the sword. -- 1 Samuel 15:2-18

  30. God delivers the Philistines.
    I will deliver the Philistines into thine hand. So David ... smote them with a great slaughter. -- 1 Samuel 23:2-5

  31. God delivers the Philistines to David (again).
    And David enquired of the LORD, saying, Shall I go up to the Philistines? ... And the LORD said unto David, Go up: for I will doubtless deliver the Philistines into thine hand. ... And David did so, as the LORD had commanded him; and smote the Philistines." -- 2 Samuel 5:19, 25

  32. God sent a three-year famine because of something Saul did.
    Then there was a famine in the days of David three years, year after year; and David enquired of the LORD. And the LORD answered, It is for Saul, and for his bloody house, because he slew the Gibeonites." -- 2 Samuel 21:1

  33. Baasha killed everyone in the house of Jeroboam "according to the saying of the Lord."
    He smote all the house of Jeroboam; he left not to Jeroboam any that breathed, until he had destroyed him, according unto the saying of the LORD. -- 1 Kings 15:29-30

  34. Zimri killed everyone in the house of Baasha "according to the word of the Lord."
    He slew all the house of Baasha: he left him not one that pisseth against a wall ... according to the word of the LORD. -- 1 Kings 16:11-12

  35. God calls for a seven year famine.
    The LORD hath called for a famine; and it shall also come upon the land seven years. -- 2 Kings 8:1

  36. God delivered the Israelites into the hand of the Chaldeans.
    The wrath of the LORD arose against his people, till there was no remedy. Therefore he brought upon them the king of the Chaldees, who slew their young men with the sword in the house of their sanctuary, and had no compassion upon young man or maiden, old man, or him that stooped for age: he gave them all into his hand. -- 2 Chronicles 36:16-17

4 comments:

TTEchidna said...

God sure is an asshole, isn't he?

Makes me kind of embarassed that the book where the most killings are is what I'm named for.

Bacon Eating Atheist Jew said...

The flood numbers could be estimated.
But we would have to estimate the time between Adam and Eve and the flood, also we would need to estimate the population growth rate between Adam and Eve and the flood.
There are scientific estimates available but we shouldn't use them, because science tells us the flood didn't happen and it also incorporates the evils of evolution theory.

Anonymous said...

The God of Christianity is just baout as bad as the one of Islam.
Fucking religion.

omnisgnoto said...

This is only the begining...
You'ld must be remember another prophetics text in:

Apocalipse 19:11-21