20 August 2006

Some suggestions for the next Left Behind Game

The Left Behind video game has been criticized for being too violent. But Jerry Jenkins defends it by saying, "It's not as violent as the Old Testament." And he's right about that. It isn't.

So Jerry has some work to do in future revisions, because the game should be just as violent as the Bible. To achieve that goal, I suggest that the following scenes be included in the next Left Behind game.

Through the wrath of the LORD of hosts is the land darkened, and the people shall be as the fuel of the fire: no man shall spare his brother. And he shall snatch on the right hand, and be hungry; and he shall eat on the left hand, and they shall not be satisfied: they shall eat every man the flesh of his own arm. -- Isaiah 9:19-20

Their stink shall come up out of their carcases, and the mountains shall be melted with their blood. -- Isaiah 34:3

And I will feed them that oppress thee with their own flesh; and they shall be drunken with their own blood, as with sweet wine. -- Isaiah 49:26

Thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will fill all the inhabitants of this land ... with drunkenness. And I will dash them one against another, even the fathers and the sons together, saith the LORD: I will not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy them. -- Jeremiah 13:13-14

And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend. -- Jeremiah 19:9

Therefore the fathers shall eat the sons in the midst of thee, and the sons shall eat their fathers. -- Ezekiel 5:10

I will not feed you: that that dieth, let it die; and that that is to be cut off, let it be cut off; and let the rest eat every one the flesh of another. -- Zechariah 11:9

Their flesh shall consume away while they stand upon their feet, and their eyes shall consume away in their holes, and their tongue shall consume away in their mouth. -- Zechariah 14:12

And it's important to show the kids how they should view all this mayhem. The Bible is very clear on the subject and this should be an integral part of the game.

The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked. -- Psalm 58:10

And their dead bodies shall lie in the street ... And they ... shall see their dead bodies three days and an half, and shall not suffer their dead bodies to be put in graves. And they that dwell upon the earth shall rejoice over them, and make merry, and shall send gifts one to another. -- Revelation 11:8-10

Christian children should look forward to seeing their non-believing family, friends, and neighbors viciously killed, be willing to participate in the slaughter, and be eager to wash their feet in the freely-flowing blood of the unbelievers. Because the Left Behind game should not only be good clean fun; it should also help prepare the children for what is soon to come.

12 comments:

zooplah said...

Absolutely. But blood is kind of sticky (or maybe mine just has too much sugar in it), so good luck with that, righteous dudes.

Paul Dueck said...

Umm... Your qoute from revelation is out of context. That specific verse refers to the actions of the world to the death of a pair of christian prophets.

Also, we use symbology all the time e.g. In sports we talk about people getting 'killed' or how a team was 'slaugtered' so most of the quotes from old testement prophets could be interpreted that way.

Finally, the verse from the Psalms is obviously not referring to all that sin. The doctrine of original sin would put paid to that. It might be better understood in light of the death of Zarqawi, the response of 'most' of the american world to that event closly resembles the actions of the 'rightous'

Tolerant666 said...

Now personally, I have always liked the Bible. However, I totally accecept that the God presented within it is not a nice being--in fact, there is almost no evidence in it that He--or She--or It--is a nice being at all. That said, I'm willing to accept that there COULD be a God, and I'd rather view the glass as half-full than half-empty anyways, so why shouldn't there be a good God? Having made that proposition, I would like the author to remember that most of the Bible (both the Old and the New Testaments)has been fabricated or removed. This has been done under orders from the clergy, but most of the time it has been a result of the scribes who actually copied down the thousands of codexes which we now know as "The Bible." Hence, I prefer to base my perception of God in terms of the positive principles that He--or She--or It--represents. In other words, I try to find the positive medium in all cultures; I'd like to think that the mere idea of a universally benevolent God would be healthier for world culture than the idea of a malevolent God. To me, as long as we try to be ethical--allowing for humor, inventiveness, and life lessons along the way, which means a lack of totally priggish behavior--than it doesn't matter whether or not God exists. If He--or She--or It--does in fact exist, than maybe God is pleased when we act all goody-two-shoes. If there isn't a God, why shouldn't we act as if there were a God?

zooplah said...

OK, Paul then what does killing and not giving the victims a proper burial represent in those verses?

And Tolerant, that's just silly. We should act morally, but there's nothing to suggest that we wouldn't anyway due to social and mental evolution independent of the fear of a mean ol' deity punishing us for all eternity.

Jake3988 said...

how about the versus about babies being ripped open?

That would prove the point.

? said...

zooplah- Paul already answered that. Also, a common misconception about Christianity is that getting into heaven depends on how good you are. Nope. Not that you should be bad and do whatever you want, because God doesn't want that either, but it probably won't affect your salvation as long as you accept the crucifixion of Jesus as the payment for the bad things you do.

Tolerant- what you said about the Bible being fabricated or fragmented is not even true. The Bible, especially the Gospels, is actually one of the best corroborated ancient books ever written. Much more so, in fact, than many other works that are accepted by scholars today, such as Plato's "Republic".

This site puts it pretty well: http://www.worldinvisible.com/apologet/bible.htm

If you don't want to read the whole thing (understandable), just glance at the green chart about 2/3 of the way down the page.

Anonymous said...

fuckin nerds lol

SJR said...

This statement is posted from an employee of Left Behind Games on behalf of Troy Lyndon, our Chief Executive Officer.

There has been in incredible amount of MISINFORMATION published in the media and in online blogs here and elsewhere.

Pacifist Christians and other groups are taking the game material out of context to support their own causes. There is NO “killing in the name of God” and NO “convert or die”. There are NO “negative portrayals of Muslims” and there are NO “points for killing”.

Please play the game demo for yourself (to at least level 5 of 40) to get an accurate perspective, or listen to what CREDIBLE unbiased experts are saying after reviewing the game at www.leftbehindgames.com/pages/controversy.com

Then, we’d love to hear your feedback as an informed player.

The reality is that we’re receiving reports everyday of how this game is positively affecting lives by all who play it.

Thank you for taking the time to be a responsible blogger.

NYC said...

Hey, with so many people having an opinion about this game, how many have actually played it? And what credibility do they have? Focus on the Family has publications which can set the record straight for everyone…at http://www.pluggedinonline.com/thisweekonly/a0002989.cfm

Tolerant666 said...

Wow. My comment was left a long time ago, when I was less cynical. Now? I think the Bible--especially the disturbing elements--is mostly myth with some history thrown in. Now, I think that interpreting the Bible is useless, since anyone can take anything from the Bible and distort it to their own twisted ends. That's all.

Mr. Serpent said...

Ah yes, look at all the specious apologetics above. Notice what I call the "Moderate Religionist Holy Trinity of apologies".

1. The "Out Of Context" lie.
2. The "Mistranslation" lie.
3. The "You Can't Understand the English Language Until You Are Possessed by the Holy Poltergeist" lie.

Ezekiel 6:10
"And they shall know that I am the LORD, and that I have not said in vain that I would do this evil unto them."

What "evil"?

Starving children until they eat their parents (Eze5:10) as a form of "wrathful" punishment; an action that gives this 'god'
"contentment".


'god' is saying that he is an evil-doer (Eze6:10) in at least 8 versions of the modern bible, and ra' (the transliterated Hebrew word for "evil") is the same word used for evil as in "knowledge of good and evil".

Sometimes a cigar is just a freakin' good smoke.

Mr. Serpent

TRiG said...

"1. The "Out Of Context" lie."

Not so. The passage of Revalation quoted is actually describing the glee of the wicked ones on the death of the righteous (the "two witnesses").

Really it is.

(Not to say that other bits of the Bible aren't disturbing, of course.)