26 August 2009

A Biblical Solution to the Health Care Crisis: Faith-based medicine (for Republicans)

(Re-post for the current health care debate)

A few years ago Garrison Keillor suggested a way to solve our health care crisis, and it's even more relevant today: impose faith-based medicine on all Republicans. That would reduce, by at least a third, the total US health care cost, while encouraging (okay, requiring) the religious right (and those who go along with them) to practice their faith.

Here's how it would work (with biblical justification, of course).

Sick republicans would ask their religious leaders to pray for them (and maybe get anointed with Crisco oil).

Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up. --James 5:14-15

Or, if they choose, they can try touching their religious leader's handkerchief or something.

So that from his [Paul's] body were brought unto the sick handkerchiefs or aprons, and the diseases departed from them, and the evil spirits went out of them. -- Acts 19:12

But under the faith-based medical plan, Republicans would not be allowed to go to a doctor. Because God is insulted when they trust science more than faith.

And Asa in the thirty and ninth year of his reign was diseased in his feet, until his disease was exceeding great: yet in his disease he sought not to the LORD, but to the physicians. -- 2 Chronicles 16:12
As Garrison Keillor said
Let them try faith-based medicine, let them pray for their arteries to be reamed and their hips to be restored, and leave science to the rest of us.

11 comments:

Vincent said...

Sheer brilliance. I nominate this as the best idea of the year.

jake3988 said...

I concur. And... There's plenty of other versus to support this too.

godisajokeDOTcom said...

Steve, you are brilliant. How ever did you find all these verses to support your arguments? I mean, I know the BLB source, but you have to know what you're looking for in order to find it. Your grasp of the Bible is nothing short of encyclopediac. I bow to you, sir.

Anonymous said...

"When I see an amputee's arm grow back as a result of prayer, I will become an instant believer. All their other alleged miracle cures are fakes."

Bernard Tarmin, 2000

twillight said...

Isn't this a re-post?

Steve Wells said...

Yes, twillight, it's a re-post. I thought it might be relevant to the current health care debate.

I've added a note to say it is a re-post. Thanks.

matt311 said...

Makes sense to me; screw the Republicans! Let them have a taste of their own medicine... that being, none at all!

Ian G. said...

I like where Keillor is coming from, but I'd tweak it to ensure that anyone who disbelieves in evolution should abandon all modern medicine, since modern medicine is based on our understanding of biology, of which we would have none without evolution.

Of course this likely means Keillor and I are covering the same ground, but I'd just like to make it more explicit.

b6en said...

The left is always screaming "Tolerance" but this is the sort of intolerance that they really practice. I suppose that the left would have the Republicans pay for all of these programs as well? Steve - I've been reading your "Skeptics Annotated Bible" and I must say that you clearly don't get it at all. Far from being "encyclopedic" you take everything out of context and ridicule it. The preaching of the cross would seam foolish to you.
It is very obvious to me that Pelosi, Obama, Reid and company care much less about health care than politics and controlling everybody's lives. Of course they want to screw the republicans out of their money so they can give paybacks to all their union, pro-abortion, ACORN, welfare, etc... support team. Oh yeah - and Keillor is an idiot.

Matt said...

It is very obvious to me that Christians, Muslims, Jews, and other churches care much less about humanity than politics and controlling everybody's lives. Of course they want to screw the gullible out of their money so they can give paybacks to their clergy, missionaries, anti-gay, censorshiop, forced prayer in schools, etc. support team. Oh, and you're an idiot.

You made this post very easy. Thanks for the template, b6en.

Talisman said...

Has anyone ever heard of this website, The Sealed Portion. NON Mormonite- LDSifile
http://www.marvelousworkandawonder.org/tsp/index.htm

It is the Best work I have read, I spent 1 year on my mission in the bible belt of Virginia , I belive that the mormon church is Pure Evil. I believe that Brigham Young Shot Joseph Smith. and that JS did indeed translate the BOM I also am asking anyone to Challenge Christopher Mark Nemelka's Work. It is very interesting and he does not charge a anything for his works.

I also Believe the Christopher Mark Nemelka Translated the Sealed Portion.

However becoming an aithiest after leaving the church I would like a second opionion

Thx
✩★