18 February 2010

The first God-assisted slaughter of the Syrians

This is a fairly simple story.

A nameless prophet tells King Ahab that God will deliver the "great multitude" of Syrians into his hand that very day, just to let Ahab know that "God is the Lord."
There came a prophet unto Ahab king of Israel, saying, Thus saith the LORD, Hast thou seen all this great multitude? behold, I will deliver it into thine hand this day; and thou shalt know that I am the LORD. 1 Kings 20.13
So Ahab rounded up 232 princes and 7000 "children of Israel" and went off to fight the "great multitude" of Syrians.
Then he numbered the young men of the princes of the provinces, and they were two hundred and thirty two: and after them he numbered all the people, even all the children of Israel, being seven thousand. 20.15
They went out at noon while the Syrian king Benhadad was busy "drinking himself drunk" with the help of 32 other kings.
They went out at noon. But Benhadad was drinking himself drunk in the pavilions, he and the kings, the thirty and two kings that helped him. 20.16
Benhadad must have taken his orders from a different God, though, because he told his soldiers not to kill any prisoners. (The God of the Bible would never allow that. In fact, Ahab will later be killed by God for not killing Benhadad when he takes him prisoner.)
He said, Whether they be come out for peace, take them alive; or whether they be come out for war, take them alive. 20.18
So the Israelites go out and kill lots of Syrians with a "great slaughter."
They slew every one his man: and the Syrians fled; and Israel pursued them ... And the king of Israel ... slew the Syrians with a great slaughter. 20.20-21
And now we all know for sure that God is the Lord.

(Who else would be so proud of killing so many people?) I guessed 10,000 for this one since it was a "great slaughter."

God's next killing: God killed 100,000 Syrians for calling him a God of the hills


busterggi said...

If the death totals given in that book were true the region would have been completely unpopulated within a few years.

Not exactly a match to historical reality.

Abeille said...

The first quote is 1 Kings 20:13
The second quote is 1 Kings 20:15
The last quote is 1 Kings 20:20-21

Steve Wells said...

Thanks again, Abeille!

skanksta said...

I don't envy keeping your list in order Steve !

How amazing is it, that you've been documenting Yahweh's murders for, what, two years ? and you're STILL missing mass murders !?

How many do you give this ? Gotta be more than the 1,000 for a normal slaughter ? It's a "great multitude" and each one kills at least a man - I say 10,000....

Steve Wells said...

Actually, skanksta, it's lots of fun! I just wonder why no one has done this before. (Or maybe everyone has a list like this; they just don't talk about it.)

I think you're right about the "great multitude," though. If God can kill 27,000 with a falling wall, then a great multitude has to be at least 10,000. I'll change it.

skanksta said...

Glad you enjoy it, 'cos your blog is the only thing I have to look forward to at the end of a dull day's training cours in the frozen, miserable North of England.
You're like a murder list machine at the moment!

Matthew Blanchette said...

"Thus saith the LORD, Hast thou seen all this great multitude? behold, I will deliver it into thine hand this day; and thou shalt know that I am the LORD."

...when he lays his vengeance upon you?

Seriously; that was just asking for it.

Also, God killing rulers who don't kill prisoners makes me wonder how he'd have liked the Nazis...