29 March 2010

Herod was eaten by worms for not giving the God the glory

One day, King Herod (Aggripa) gave a speech to the people.
Upon a set day Herod, arrayed in royal apparel, sat upon his throne, and made an oration unto them. Acts 12:21
The Bible doesn't tell us what he said, but it must have been one hell of a good speech, since when the people heard it they all shouted at once and in unison, "this is the voice of a god, not a man."
The people gave a shout, saying, It is the voice of a god, and not of a man. 12:22
But God didn't like the speech. And he was especially angry at Herod for not giving the glory to him. God wants all of the glory and it pisses him off when someone else gets some. So he sent an angel down to kill him.
Immediately the angel of the Lord smote him, because he gave not God the glory. 12:23a
And then God fed King Herod to the worms.
And he was eaten of worms, and gave up the ghost. 12:23b
(I give God all the glory for this Bible story.)

God's next killing: Jesus

7 comments:

twillight said...

Welcome back Steve!

I wish a Jesus-movie would end with what is depicted here: Herod making the speech, then maggots appear all over him and he dissolves.
Would that worth an R-rate, or still remain no-rating, as it is from the Bible?

Robert said...

Have you given God the glory for this post?

Matthew Blanchette said...

So... first, God smites him (which should surely kill him), then sends some worms, and that's what finally kills him?

Bullshit.

skanksta said...

I just LOVE the language of the KJV (this is the KJV right?)

"And he was eaten of worms, and gave up the ghost."

Lol - gonna start using that.

Brucker said...

This is indeed an odd one, isn't it? Something about this one that's always seemed strange from a theological perspective is why God decided to strike down Herod for allowing people to treat him like a God when there are plenty of other dictators throughout history who did so in far more blatant ways than this. Even within a Biblical timeframe, both Caesar and Pharaoh were supposed to be gods, weren't they?

busterggi said...

Is this the same Herod who kept his dead wife's corpse around for seven years for sex & conversation?

Because if it is I can think of something else that might have killed him.

psybermonkey said...

@busterggi - heh, actually I believe that was Herod the Great, though there isn't really any convincing evidence for the claim as Josephus' text on it doesn't specifically say anything about a corpse. Herod married nine times, but the wife he loved most was Mariamme, Hyrcanus' granddaughter. Manipulated into believing that Mariamme had been unfaithful, Herod had her executed--and may have been driven mad by guilt. "So hot was the flame of his desire that he could not believe her dead," Josephus wrote, "but in his sickness of mind talked to her as if still alive, until time revealed to him the terrible truth, and filled his heart with grief as passionate as his love had been while she lived."

Also, the account in Acts on the other Herod's death is a bit different from what Josephus says (surprise-surprise!):

After Passover in 44, Agrippa [Herod] went to Caesarea, where he had games performed in honor of Claudius. In the midst of his elation Agrippa saw an owl perched over his head. During his imprisonment by Tiberius a similar omen had been interpreted as portending his speedy release, with the warning that should he behold the same sight again, he would die within five days. He was immediately smitten with violent pains, and scolded his friends for flattering him and accepting his imminent death. He experienced heart pains and a pain in his abdomen, and died after five days.

It really makes me wonder what he supposedly said to have gained such recognition! :)