02 March 2010

An angel killed 185,000 sleeping soldiers, "and when they arose early in the morning, behold, they were all dead."

Well, the title pretty much says it all, since it all happens place in a single verse (that is repeated twice in the Bible).

185,000 sleeping Assyrian soldiers were killed by an angel of the Lord. And when they woke up the next morning "behold, they were all dead."
The angel of the LORD went out, and smote in the camp of the Assyrians an hundred fourscore and five thousand: and when they arose early in the morning, behold, they were all dead corpses. 2 Kings 19.35, Isaiah 37.36
They probably all woke up and said in unison (as is customary in the Bible), "Shucks, I'm dead."

God's next killing: God caused King Sennacherib to be killed by his sons


Dan said...

Technically, that would make them zombies, wouldn't it?

twillight said...

Have yoiu ever thought how angles look like?
Their face shines with divine glory, but their wings are tipped with blood...

skanksta said...

cool !

Marcus said...

This is why the Bible is an interesting book.

Incest, murder, war, plagues, explosions, acid trip prophesies, pointless ramblings, dung eating, baby dashing, and on top of all that, zombies!

Steve Wells said...

Yeah, you're right, Marcus. The Bible is an interesting book. I wonder why few believers have actually read it.

Maybe that's because it's hard to believe in the Bible once you've read it.

Matthew Blanchette said...

This makes me think of the bit in Scary Movie 3, where two guys talk about the whole concept of "waking up dead":

Mahalik: I heard Jamal from 90th street watched that tape last week, and this mornin', he woke up dead!
CJ: How the hell do you wake up dead?
Mahalik: 'Cause you're alive when you go to sleep.
CJ: So you're telling me you can go to bed dead, and wake up alive?
Mahalik: You can't go to bed dead! That shit would've been redundant.
CJ: No, it wouldn't, 'cause you can go to bed and not be dead, and you can die and not be in the bed.
Mahalik: But you are in the bed; that's how you wake up dead in the first place, fool!
CJ: Damn! That's some quantum shit right there, man! You should be teaching classes!

Christian Henry said...

Hmm, my translation says "When the people got up the next morning - there were all the dead bodies!"

That the Assyrian army was cut down there is not just written in the Bible, but recorded by the Greeks also- although they give no details.

Mr. Page said...

Well...it's obvious to the world that Steve Wells is not born-again.

I Corinthians 1:8, "For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God."

Just saying.

Dr.GohstMac said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr.GohstMac said...

Y'know the whole atheistic argument, on the evil of God, is pretty simple to defeat.

In the form of a question. One which largely makes this argument as well as this book, moot and a waste of time.

The difference between God and You, is the difference between A painting and the painter.

If you want to change the painting, you paint over a few lines here, add a few new ones there, and you got an improved painting.

if you don't like it, you paint over the whole thing and start again, or scrap it and start with a fresh canvas.

Are you then a murderer? should you be held accountable for all the doodles you threw away, drawings you erased?

Not to mention, you're arguing based on your perception of evil. which is an inside biased view. not to mention when compared to a being that knows all, can do all and is everywhere, is all.. would that be a suffcient perception on which to judge? I mean even by our own standards it's flawed and incomplete.
We need things to help us define it, like religion and politics, our judicial system, logic and philosophy.

It's a major fallacy inherent in all arguments like this.

for people who brand themselves free thinkers, they're ironically still chained and held captive in a dualistic mindset. they just changed jailers.

point is, God is not a man, or human for that matter. Thus he cannot be judged as one. Any attempt to do so, would result in a reduction of His Being in either whole or part, toward that of a man, making any judgement, and the arguments it is based in, moot.

His assertion that believers ignore these verses, is invalid, and a gross generalization.

you learn of some of these killings in sunday school. I remember hearing the story of the killing of every first born son, in egypt at somewhere between ages 6 and 10.

a lot of the ones I learned about I learned before I was of legal age.

some, like the one where the guy grabs The Ark of the Covenant to stop it from falling off the cart into the mud, when the oxen stumble, (God smites him for touching The Ark of The Covenant)

seemed kinda sucky. But Y'know I'm not God so in the end no matter how long one wrestles, in the end, you gotta submit to that realization, and that speculating, while good mental exercise, is just speculation in the end.

As a funny aside,
I remember in a forum once when someone had a large rant displaying the supposed "evils" of God, and asking "Why?", and "How can He do this?",

A regular who was known for being a follower of Judaism replied,

"Why,because Our God is a Rockstar of course."

Big O said...

Even a moron knows not everyone in a military encampment is a soldier.
There are many support personnel who do not engage in combat. Therefore it is completely accurate to say that when the people (Non-military) personnel got up the soldiers were all dead.

Big O said...

Even a moron would know not everyone in a military camp is a soldier so it is entirely accurate to say when the people (aka-non combat support personnel) got up the soldiers were all dead.

Martin White said...

The Bible did not say they all were sleeping. An army always has guards that watch as they others sleep. If you don't believe me, try sneaking around on a military base at night. I bet you'll find yourself at the business end of an assault rifle.

Paradoctor said...

@ Dr. GohstMac: the atheist argument isn't that God is evil, but that God is nonexistent; the evil is in taking the fiction as real. If God is a fictional character, then wicked deeds attributed to God certainly do reflect badly upon the writers who wrote the tale, and the readers who believe it.

Paradoctor said...

"When they woke up, they were all dead"?!

Who edits this stuff?

Brad Watson, Miami said...

Steve Wells (DwindlingInUnbelief.blogspot.com) ,

You're guilty of a really poor edit. Why? So as to use false information to promote your false belief that their is no GOD(7_4), that there was no appearance of God-incarnate (Jesus[74=J10+E5+S19+U21+S19] son of Joseph), and that the Christ doesn't return to "judge everyone according(74) to their actions". Atheists believe in randomness, although chaos theory states, "There is only an appearance of randomness, everything is connect(74)ed, and there are underlying patterns." Atheists believe that there is no afterlife although, science has now proven reincarnation. The law of karma is as real as the law of gravity. Therefore... By the power(77) vested in me by GOD as His Christ(77=C3+H8+R18+I9+S19+T20), I hereby rule that 12/27/13 is your Judgment Day: you FAIL F. Sentence: bad luck for the rest of your life, then 74 years reincarnated as non-human just for your sins on this post (you have many more). When you are born-again as human, it will be under hellish circumstances. Note: you can repent, take this post down and any others like it, do many hours of verifiable community service, and then petition this court for a retrial. GOD & His Christ are just & forgiving. However, 7.4 years of your sentence is non-commutable and any contempt-of-court will receive an increased sentence. I strongly recommend that you respect this judgment. - Brad(25) Watson(77), Miami - GOD's Judge of All(25) Humanity. c.c. http://7seals.yuku.com

Big O said...

Have you ever seen an army without civilian, non combat personnel? Ignore the obvious to your own peril. The soldiers were all slain but the non combat support personel woke up to find them all dead.

JD Yamaha said...

When the army of Israel got up the next day their enemies were slain before them. Very simple passage and in context easily understood.

Chuck Smith said...

When the Bible stated "When they arose in the morning, they were all dead" it was NOT referring to the soldiers that were dead. It was referring to King Hezekiah and his men or servants. When they arose in the morning THEY saw that King Sennacherib and his soldiers were dead. Pray for an understanding. The Bible is like a loaded fire arm; it is only to be handle in the hands of skillful users. When kids like yourself get a hold of it, they commit suicide like you just clearly did with your erroneous misunderstanding.

Will Silver said...

The Bible is nothing like a firearm. It is a book of arcane practices, esoteric rambling, improbable miracles and very little truth.
If one misinterprets or misunderstands the Bible it is quite inconsequential; nothing at all like suicide.