A sermon for Hillary

Poor Hillary had to sit through a long sermon on adultery this morning. The text was from Matthew 5 verses 27-30.

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. Matthew 5:27-30

I'm sure the sermon was embarrassing for her, for obvious reasons, but that isn't what I want to discuss here. I am more interested in the biblical text itself.

Notice that Jesus says that anyone who looks at a woman with lust has committed adultery, and that it would be better for such a person to pluck out his eye (or cut off his hand if that is somehow involved) to avoid sinning. Because if you pluck out your eye (well you'd probably have to pluck them both out), then you can't commit adultery by looking at a woman. And since Jesus believes that all adulterers go to hell (including those who are "just looking"), wise men will pluck out their eyes. Can't argue with that.

Jesus' reasoning seems pretty clear here. 1) Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has committed adultery. 2) All adulterers go to hell (which is a really nasty place -- much more unpleasant than plucking out eyes or cutting off hands). 3) Those who pluck their eyes out will never commit adultery by looking at women. Therefore, all men (at least those who might someday look lustfully at a woman) should pluck out their eyes (and maybe cut off their hands just for good measure).

But that's not what really bothers me. It's what Jesus said a few verses before.

Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Matthew 5:17-18

Not one jot or tittle, eh Jesus? Then this law must still apply:

And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. Leviticus 20:10

So guys, Jesus gives you a choice. Either pluck out your eyes (and maybe cut off you hands) and thereby avoid committing adultery by looking or keep your eyes and hands, commit the inevitable adultery by looking at a woman, be executed for it, and then burn forever in hell. It's up to you.

Fair enough. But what about the woman with whom the man commits "just looking" adultery? Is she guilty of adultery too? Must we execute her also in accordance with Leviticus 10:20? And after we kill her, will she go to hell with the guy who was caught looking at her?

I'm just asking.

Hillary Clinton: "I think the whole Bible is real."

Here's what Hillary Clinton said about the Bible in a New York Times interview.

I think the whole Bible is real.

Well, I suppose the Bible is real enough -- whatever that means. But is it true and is it inspired by God? Apparently Hillary thinks it is.

The whole Bible gives you a glimpse of God and God’s desire for a personal relationship, but we can’t possibly understand every way God is communicating with us.

Okay, let's get "a glimpse of God" then by reading the following passage from the "real" whole bible.

"If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods ... Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him: But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people. And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die." Deuteronomy 13:6-10

The glimpse I get of God from this passage looks a lot like Anton Chigurh. Not a pretty picture.

But back to the interview.

Q: Is there a favorite book that you return to in the Bible?

Senator Clinton: ...Psalms is always a favorite. It’s both comforting and challenging.

Always a favorite? Comforting and challenging? How about these Psalms, Senator?

He teacheth my hands to war. Psalm 18:34

Blessed be the LORD my strength which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight. 144:1

He shall judge among the heathen, he shall fill the places with the dead bodies; he shall wound the heads over many countries. 110:6

Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth ... let them be as cut in pieces. 58:6-7

The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked. 58:10

God shall wound the head of his enemies ... That thy foot may be dipped in the blood of thine enemies, and the tongue of thy dogs in the same. 68:21-23

Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones. 137:9

Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? ... I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies. 139:21-22

Let burning coals fall upon them: let them be cast into the fire; into deep pits, that they rise not up again. 140:10

Maybe Clinton's love for the Psalms can explain her campaign tactics and her vote for the war in Iraq.

Senator Clinton: There are lots of aspects of Isaiah that I find very intriguing and provocative.

Me too. Here are a few "intriguing and provacative" verses from Isaiah.

As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. Isaiah 3:12

Through the wrath of the LORD of hosts is the land darkened, and the people shall be as the fuel of the fire: no man shall spare his brother. And he shall snatch on the right hand, and be hungry; and he shall eat on the left hand, and they shall not be satisfied: they shall eat every man the flesh of his own arm. 9:19-20

For the indignation of the LORD is upon all nations, and his fury upon all their armies: he hath utterly destroyed them, he hath delivered them to the slaughter. Their slain also shall be cast out, and their stink shall come up out of their carcases, and the mountains shall be melted with their blood. 34:2-3

And I will feed them that oppress thee with their own flesh; and they shall be drunken with their own blood, as with sweet wine. 49:26

Maybe all the religious nuts haven't dropped out after all.