Beauty Pageants, Breast Implants, and Sex Tapes (What the Bible says about Carrie Prejean)

Here are some quotes from Carrie Prejean's interview with Christianity Today -- along with some stupid stuff I found in the Bible.

"I think you can be a Christian and compete in a pageant."

That could be. But, as usual, the Bible is far from clear about this.

On the one hand, there is Esther, who became queen by winning a raunchy beauty/sex contest (As Misty pointed out in the comments and I had completely forgotten). Here is her story.

King Ahasuerus throws a party and encourages his guests to drink to excess. Then, when they are all drunk, he orders Queen Vashti to show her stuff before him and his guests. Esther 1:7-11

Vashti refuses to entertain the king's drunken guests by dancing before them. For this she is no longer to be queen, to be replaced by someone better (prettier). 1:12-19

So "all the fair young virgins" throughout the kingdom are brought before the king, and the one that "pleaseth" the king the most will replace Vashti. 2:2-4

When it was Esther turn to "go in unto the king," she pleases him the most. So, having won the sex contest, she is made queen in Vashti's place. 2:8-17

On the other hand, here's some stuff from the New Testament that might be a problem for Christian beauty pageant contestants.

I will that ... women adorn themselves in modest apparel ... not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array. 1 Timothy 2:8-9

Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel. 1 Peter 3:3

(Well, at least she doesn't have braided hair!)

"I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants."

Carrie might be right about that. For example, here's a case where God brags about helping a woman enhance her "ornaments". Heck, he even personally fashioned her breasts for her! (God is a hair dresser and a breast enhancer. Who knew?)

I [God] have caused thee to ... come to excellent ornaments: thy breasts are fashioned, and thine hair is grown. Ezekiel 16:6

And here's a case where the Bible expresses concern for a woman's small breasts. (If breast implants were available at the time, the problem would have been solved.)

We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for? Song of Solomon 8:8

And in this verse, her big sister brags about her big breasts.

My breasts like towers. Song of Solomon 8:10

So score this one for Carrie. God likes big breasts, natural or not.

"There is a video out there of me."
(According to RadarOnline.com, there are at least 8 of them, each showing her performing solo sex acts.)

God might have a beef with Carrie on this one, depending on what kind of props she used in her videos.

"Thou hast ... madest to thyself images of men, and didst commit whoredom with them." Ezekiel 16:17

And it came to pass through the lightness of her whoredom, that she defiled the land, and committed adultery with stones and with stocks. Jeremiah 3:9

They have seen her nakedness: yea, she sigheth, and turneth backward. Lamentations 1:8-9

So, on the whole, I think Carrie should be careful. God does some nasty stuff to women when he thinks they've misbehaved.

Here's just one example from Ezekiel.

The nakedness of thy whoredoms shall be discovered, both thy lewdness and thy whoredoms .... Thou shalt even drink it and suck it out ... and pluck off thine own breasts: for I have spoken it, saith the Lord GOD. Ezekiel 23:29-34