22 January 2008

Chuck Norris' favorite Bible verse

Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, "Every man of you put his sword upon his thigh, and go back and forth from gate to gate in the camp, and kill every man his brother, and every man his friend, and every man his neighbor." Exodus 32:27
Okay, it may not be his favorite. But it is one of his favorites. He really likes the idea that God would tell people to kill their family, friends, and neighbors (all for a good cause, of course). He quotes this verse along with those shown below in his WorldNetDaily article, Would Jesus support war?.
… let him who has no sword sell his robe and buy one. Luke 22:36

Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. Matthew 10:34
(This is also one of one of Ann Coulter's favorite verses. Great minds think alike.)

Chuck's point is that Jesus (like his good buddy Mike Huckabee) approves of gun ownership, the Iraq war (or pretty much any kind of war, but especially holy wars), and all of the laws and carnage in the Old Testament. "The baby born in a manger 2,000 years ago was not only a Savior, but a God of war."

(Someone should ask the Huckster if he likes Exodus 32:27 as much as Chuck does.)

Still, I think Chuck Norris was holding out on us. I bet his favorite Bible verse is actually Numbers 31:17-18. He's the type.


Brian_E said...

When Chuck dies, Jesus will voluntarily move to sit at the left hand of god, lest he get a beating that'll make 'The Passion' seem like a spa treatment.

Hellbound Alleee said...

I just wanted to say, love the blog.

Don't forget to open up the bible to Deuteronomy 13-16 for those badass verses. I haven't seen the parts about God's threats to force parents to eat their children and their afterbirth, and I really think it's got a good place here. The whole chapter is chilling. It also has the whole "kill unbelievers, especially if they're family" thing, over and over again.

VoxMoose said...

Sad stuff.

Someone should tell him the Gospel of Thomas has a bit about repeated roundhouse kicks to the chest and neck. Could give Gnosticism the kind of political traction they've been looking for.

Steve: Great blog, by the way. Also seriously dig the SAB.