11 November 2009

Samson kills 3000 in a suicide terrorist attack

After Samson finished killing 1000 men with a jawbone of an ass, he had sex with a prostitute.
Then went Samson to Gaza, and saw there an harlot, and went in unto her. Judges 16:1

At midnight he left the prostitute and ripped out the doors and gate posts of the city and carried them to the top of a hill.

Samson lay till midnight, and arose at midnight, and took the doors of the gate of the city, and the two posts, and went away with them, bar and all, and put them upon his shoulders, and carried them up to the top of an hill that is before Hebron. Judges 16:3

Then Samson saw and fell in love with Delilah.

Afterward ... he loved a woman ... whose name was Delilah. Judges 16:4

Now Delilah was paid by the Philistines to find the magical source of Samson's strength and to figure out how he could be restrained. So she asked Samson three times about it, while some Philistines hid in another room.

The first time he said that he'd become as weak as any other man if he were tied up with bowstrings. So she did that and then shouted, "Hey Samson, the Philistines are coming!" But he broke the bowstrings as though they were burnt strings.

She asked again and he told her to use ropes. So she tied him with ropes and then shouted, "Hey Samson, the Philistines are coming!" But he broke the ropes like they were threads.

She asked him a third time, and he told her to weave his seven braids into a cloth and fasten the whole mess to the wall. So she did that and then shouted, "Hey Samson (you dumb shit), the Philistines are coming!" But he broke out of that one, too.

But Delilah didn't give up. She kept pestering him until finally Samson told her the true source of his strength. It was his hair. If his hair was shaved off, he'd become as weak as any other man.

So when Samson fell asleep on her lap, she cut his hair. Then the Philistines captured Samson, gouged out his eyes, and put him in prison.

Later at one of their big parties, the Philistines brought Samson out to entertain them. Here's what happened.

Now the house was full of ... about three thousand men and women ... And Samson called unto the LORD, and said, O Lord God .. strengthen me ... that I may be at once avenged of the Philistines for my two eyes ... and the house fell upon the lords, and upon all the people that were therein. So the dead which he slew at his death were more than they which he slew in his life. Judges 16:27-30

This was the first suicide terrorist act. It resulted in the deaths of 3000 civilian men and women. God approved of it and gave Samson the strength to do it. And although the Bible doesn't say so, there are unconfirmed reports that Samson shouted "God is great" as the walls came tumbling down.

God's next killing


Matthew Blanchette said...

You sort of skimmed over the hilarity of Samson not going along with the deception every time and pretending to be weak (meaning he forgets stuff very easily, but the whole horror of his act still doesn't blunt the fact that, in every Bible I once owned (yes, even a children's illustrated Bible), the suicide attack was prominently noted as a good thing... and Israelis wonder where Palestinians get the gall to bring down buildings today.

Fleegman said...

This is such bad story telling. He made it with a prostitute, and then ripped the doors off of the city and carried them to the top of the hill.

Why? Was he high?

Each time he told this other woman - whom he loved immediately after meeting her at the top of the hill, naturally - how to surpass his strength, she did it to him. So he goes ahead and tells her his real secret.

Why? Was he an idiot? And how did he know that his hair was his strength?

Even this tiny story has so many holes in it, a monkey jumping up and down on a keyboard wouldn't be hard pressed to deliver a better narrative.

Someone give me strength...

twillight said...

Well, all in all that WAS entertainment...

busterggi said...

I've always wondered 1) why would Samson's strength come from a magical physical characteristic & 2) why would anyone be stupid enough to tell their weakness to someone who's obviously trying to harm them?

If these concepts were original to the Hebrews & not stolen from one of their neighbors like most of their other stories then they should have stuck to stealing.

Steve Wells said...

Hey thanks, matt311. I expanded the story a bit to include the "Hey Samson, the Philistines are coming!" stuff.

I don't know. Somehow the story seems made up to me. But I guess it must have happened just like it says because it's in the Bible! (Right Brucker?)

twillight said...

Actually Steve, the story is very much like the stories of Heracles, but without the clever bits.

Unknown said...

@Fleegman: Delilah pulls the old "if you really loved me you'd do it" trick on Samson in 16:15. The poor guy didn't have a chance..

Ian said...

3,000 people murdered in a religiously-inspired suicide attack that toppled a huge building? Gee, where have I heard that before.....

Unknown said...

The reason Samson told things to Delilah was because we men turn into jello around women we are attracted to. We say and do many stupid things on this account.

That's why many men throw away a great family and marriage for a pretty, young affair. Samson kept caving into their requests as they pressed with tears, etc. Fleegman: Judges 13:3-5, 16:17 referred to the Naziritic vow which includes not cutting your hair.

Plus, Samson so rarely pursued the Lord he can hardly be hailed as one of the most godly men in the Bible.
One of the biggest issues you all have is "is it right for God to intentionally kill people?" Or, "would a loving God kill people."
I say yes. Not enough room here to explain it, but read the rest of the Bible to see why.
Most of the rest of these posts are superfluous details.

Steve Wells said...


Most of the rest of these posts are superfluous details.

Really ben? Then most of the Bible is just superfluous detail.

Wineblack Raven said...

"Not enough room here to explain it, but read the rest of the Bible to see why."

I think it's safe to say Mr. Wells has read the bible, probably many times, and obviously more closely and with more scrutiny than your average Christian.

Stephen said...

Blogger benl2345 said...
"Not enough room here to explain it, but read the rest of the Bible to see why."

But it probably has to be an "inspired" reading, doesn't it? So no matter how many times Steve Wells has read the book, he just doesn't get it. Am I close? <_<

@ matt311: Yes! I just checked my copy of "The Junior Bible", by Edgar J. Goodspeed, given to me by my grandfather (a presbyterian minister) in December of 1951. I was just over one year old. The story makes the killing seem like a grand and good deed. Even as a child, I thought these stories were stupid.
Steve Weeks

Hank S. said...

I was wondering about the Samson being an idiot thing, too. Then I found this:


In a nutshell:

1. His strength came from God, not from his hair. His hair was a symbol of his devotion to God, not the secret to his strength.

2. He did not expect his strength to leave him - he took it (and God) for granted.

3. God took his strength away from him because Samson arrogantly thought his strength would never leave him, even if he broke his vows to God.

4. After Samson was weakened and blinded, he was humbled and asked God for His help, which was granted.

Max Weber said...

Its kinda ridiculous to think one man can kill 1000. Its like saying a heavy weight boxer who throws about 700 punches in a match would have killed a person with each punch. Samson would have to have been physically superior to modern heavyweight boxers. By a wide margin. Plus, the 1000 must not have been armed; or, at least, not organized. Samson would have had to have torn into them like a wolverine.

Unknown said...

What Hank said. And what Max Weber said. It was supernatural. And in those days men lived by war. There was no UN PEACEKEEPING and international laws. Men made war to secure territory There was constant oppression and retaliation. It was not a terrorist attack. He used his hands not grenades. He was a prisoner toiling in a dungeon. He had no terrorist network. The whole story is supernatural I bet you he was a bean pole to make it more unbelievable. You unbelievers can be so emotional and irrational sometimes.. In fact there was no organization where anyone could agitate for human rights. There was not much education as you have now. Your ancestors were cave men or even vikings not computer nerds and green peace volunteers.

fred said...

Samson was maybe big as Goliath, 3 meter. Super strength is actually very normal for primates, a chimpanzee female weighing 130 lbs pulled in a zoo with one arm 1500 lbs, a gorilla male easily dead lifted 10 000 lbs (easy to lift large trees, stones, etc). So a strong 3 meter Samson with good genetics was also naturally strong.