Here are some suggestions from the world's most perfect book, the Book of Mormon -- the "ultimate blog".
- Write all your posts in 17th century English to make them sound like scripture.
- Begin every fifth sentence or so with a meaningless phrase that hasn't been used in hundreds of years.
- Claim that your posts were inscribed on golden plates that you dug up in your backyard and translated from an ancient, nonexistent language using seer stones while looking into a hat.
- Copy a long series of posts from another (preferably long-dead) author.
- Insult all non-white people by claiming their skin was darkened by God to punish them for being wicked; then tell them that if they repent God will make their skin "white and delightsome" again.
- Create a new religion and then claim that all other religions were founded by the devil.
- Use a thousand words when a few would do as well.
- Tell your readers that every word that you write was personally delivered to you by an angel of the Lord.
I'm sure there's a lot more to learn from the ultimate blog, but hopefully that's enough to get you started.
Happy blogging!
4 comments:
Great suggestions. I enjoy your blog -- keep blogging.
Here's another: Write all your posts in 17th century English to make them sound like scripture.
Thanks for the suggestion, Aaron. I'll add that as number 1!
And it came to pass that he did compose his phony scriptures in his best 17th century English in order that those who did read them were impressed exceedingly of their authenticity.
Steve Weeks
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