17 December 2014

EJ&T Deuteronomy 23: Damaged testicles, bastards, wet dreams, defecation, whores, sodomites and dogs

In the Every Jot and Tittle project, I am listing all of the Bible's commandments from Genesis to Revelation, in accordance with Jesus's words in Matthew 5:18-19. I have no idea how many commandments I'll find, but Jewish tradition claims there are 613. See here for a list of those that I've found so far.

  1. Men with damaged genitals shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord.
  2. He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD. Deuteronomy 23:1

  3. A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord.
  4. A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD. Deuteronomy 23:2

  5. To enter into the congregation of the Lord you must prove that there were no bastards among your ancestors for at least ten generations.
  6. A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD. Deuteronomy 23:2

  7. An Ammonite or Moabite shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.
  8. An Ammonite or Moabite shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD. Deuteronomy 23:3

    The Ammonite and the Moabite should not come into the congregation of God for ever. Nehemiah 13:1

  9. To enter into the congregation of the Lord you must prove that you have no Ammonite or Moabite ancestors for at least ten generations (and perhaps forever).
  10. An Ammonite or Moabite shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to their tenth generation shall they not enter into the congregation of the LORD for ever: Deuteronomy 23:3

  11. Don't seek the peace or prosperity of filthy nonbelievers.
  12. Thou shalt not seek their peace nor their prosperity all thy days for ever. Deuteronomy 23:6

    The land, unto which ye go to possess it, is an unclean land with the filthiness of the people of the lands, with their abominations, which have filled it from one end to another with their uncleanness. Now therefore give not your daughters unto their sons, neither take their daughters unto your sons, nor seek their peace or their wealth for ever. Ezra 9:11-12

  13. Don't abhor Edomites.
  14. Thou shalt not abhor an Edomite; for he is thy brother. Deuteronomy 23:7a

  15. Don't abhor Egyptians.
  16. Thou shalt not abhor an Egyptian; because thou wast a stranger in his land. Deuteronomy 23:7b

  17. The grandchildren of Egyptians (and maybe Edomites) may enter the congregation of the Lord.
  18. The children that are begotten of them shall enter into the congregation of the LORD in their third generation. Deuteronomy 23:8

  19. When you go to war, stay away from wicked things.
  20. When the host goeth forth against thine enemies, then keep thee from every wicked thing. Deuteronomy 23:9

  21. If you have a wet dream, you must go to the special wet dream place and wash with water the next evening before returning to camp.
  22. If there be among you any man, that is not clean by reason of uncleanness that chanceth him by night, then shall he go abroad out of the camp, he shall not come within the camp: But it shall be, when evening cometh on, he shall wash himself with water: and when the sun is down, he shall come into the camp again. Thou shalt have a place also without the camp, whither thou shalt go forth abroad: Deuteronomy 23:10-12

  23. When you defecate, cover up your excrement (so that God doesn't step in it).
  24. And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee: For the Lord thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp, to deliver thee, and to give up thine enemies before thee; therefore shall thy camp be holy: that he see no unclean thing in thee, and turn away from thee. Deuteronomy 23:13-14

  25. Don't return runaway slaves to their masters. Let them live with you in peace and freedom.
  26. Thou shalt not deliver unto his master the servant which is escaped from his master unto thee: He shall dwell with thee, even among you, in that place which he shall choose in one of thy gates, where it liketh him best: thou shalt not oppress him. Deuteronomy 23:15-16

  27. Make sure there aren't any whores or sodomites in your community.
  28. There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel. Deuteronomy 23:17

  29. Don't bring the hire of a whore or the price of a dog into the house of the Lord.
  30. Thou shalt not bring the hire of a whore, or the price of a dog, into the house of the LORD thy God for any vow: for even both these are abomination unto the LORD thy God. Deuteronomy 23:18

  31. Don't charge interest when loaning money. (Unless they are strangers. Then it's okay.)
  32. Thou shalt not lend upon usury to thy brother; usury of money, usury of victuals, usury of any thing that is lent upon usury: Unto a stranger thou mayest lend upon usury; but unto thy brother thou shalt not lend upon usury. Deuteronomy 23:19-20

    If a man be just, and do that which is lawful and right, and ... hath not given forth upon usury, neither hath taken any increase. Ezekiel 18:5-8

  33. If you make a vow to the Lord, you must keep it.
  34. When thou shalt vow a vow unto the LORD thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the LORD thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee. ... That which is gone out of thy lips thou shalt keep and perform; even a freewill offering, according as thou hast vowed unto the LORD thy God, which thou hast promised with thy mouth. Deuteronomy 23:21-23

    When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed. Ecclesiastes 5:4

  35. You may eat grapes from your neighbor's vineyard, but don't put any in your basket.
  36. When thou comest into thy neighbour's vineyard, then thou mayest eat grapes thy fill at thine own pleasure; but thou shalt not put any in thy vessel. Deuteronomy 23:24

  37. You may pluck kernels of grain from your neighbor's farm, but don't cut any stalks down with a sickle.
  38. When thou comest into the standing corn of thy neighbour, then thou mayest pluck the ears with thine hand; but thou shalt not move a sickle unto thy neighbour's standing corn. Deuteronomy 23:25

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