The Ai Massacre

After stoning and burning to death Achan and his family, Joshua was back in business.

God told Joshua to do unto Ai as they did unto Jericho, except that this time the Israelites could keep some of the loot for themselves (instead of giving it all to him).

Thou shalt do to Ai and her king as thou didst unto Jericho and her king: only the spoil thereof, and the cattle thereof, shall ye take for a prey unto yourselves. Joshua 8.2

So that's what they did.

They killed the soldiers,

Joshua and all Israel … slew the men of Ai ... so that they let none of them remain or escape. 8.21-22

burned the city,

Joshua burnt Ai, and made it an heap for ever. 8.28

murdered all the women and children,

Joshua drew not his hand back, wherewith he stretched out the spear, until he had utterly destroyed all the inhabitants of Ai. 8.26

killed the King of Ai, and hung his dead body on a tree.

The king of Ai he hanged on a tree until eventide. 8.29

Just like God told them to do.

And, finally, after they were done killing all the people, Joshua killed some animals as a "peace offering" to his bloody God of war.

Then Joshua built an altar unto the LORD ... and ... offered thereon burnt offerings unto the LORD, and sacrificed peace offerings. 8:30-31

One thing I really like about this story (What's not to like?) is that this time I don't have to guess the number of victims. The Bible tells us how many were killed: 12,000.

And … all that fell that day, both of men and women, were twelve thousand. 8.25

God's next killing: God stops the sun so Joshua can get his killing done in the daylight

Achan and his family are stoned and burned to death

This is one of those bible stories that most believers don't really believe in, if they know it exists, that is. It's simply not possible to believe this story and also believe that the God of the Bible is anything other than evil.

The story begins with Joshua sending spies to the land of Ai. The spies return saying Ai would be easy to conquer, requiring only a few thousand men.

Joshua sent men from Jericho to Ai … and spake unto them, saying, Go up and view the country. And the men went up and viewed Ai. And they returned to Joshua, and said …let about two or three thousand men go up and smite Ai … for they are but few. Joshua 7.2-3

So Joshua sent 3,000 soldiers, but they were defeated by the men of Ai, who killed about 36 of them.

So there went up thither of the people about three thousand men: and they fled before the men of Ai. And the men of Ai smote of them about thirty and six men. 7.4-5

When Joshua heard what had happened, he tore his clothes, fell on his face, and put dirt on his head, thereby proving that he was a real Bible character.

Joshua rent his clothes, and fell to the earth upon his face before the ark of the LORD until the eventide, he and the elders of Israel, and put dust upon their heads. 7.6

He then asked God why they were defeated.

Joshua said, Alas, O LORD God, wherefore hast thou at all brought this people over Jordan, to deliver us into the hand of the Amorites, to destroy us? 7.7

God told Joshua to get up off his face.

The LORD said unto Joshua, Get thee up; wherefore liest thou thus upon thy face? 7.10

And then God said that the Israelites were defeated by Ai because someone took an accursed thing during the Jericho Massacre.

Israel hath sinned … for they have even taken of the accursed thing … and they have put it even among their own stuff. Therefore the children of Israel could not stand before their enemies, but turned their backs before their enemies, because they were accursed: neither will I be with you any more, except ye destroy the accursed from among you. 7.11-12

But God told Joshua what he needed to do to get back to successful genocide: burn to death the man with the accursed thing, along with his family.

He that is taken with the accursed thing shall be burnt with fire, he and all that he hath. 7.15

God even pointed out the guy. His name was Achan.

In the morning therefore ye shall be brought according to your tribes: and it shall be, that the tribe which the LORD taketh shall come according to the families thereof; and the family which the LORD shall take shall come by households; and the household which the LORD shall take shall come man by man. … So Joshua rose up early in the morning, and brought Israel by their tribes; and the tribe of Judah was taken: And he brought the family of Judah; and he took the family of the Zarhites: and he brought the family of the Zarhites man by man; and Zabdi was taken: And he brought his household man by man; and Achan, the son of Carmi, the son of Zabdi, the son of Zerah, of the tribe of Judah, was taken. 7.14-18

So Joshua ordered Achan to confess.

Joshua said unto Achan … make confession unto him; and tell me now what thou hast done; hide it not from me. 7.19

And he did.

Achan answered Joshua, and said, Indeed I have sinned against the LORD God of Israel, and thus and thus have I done: When I saw among the spoils a goodly Babylonish garment, and two hundred shekels of silver, and a wedge of gold of fifty shekels weight, then I coveted them, and took them; and, behold, they are hid in the earth in the midst of my tent, and the silver under it. 7.20-21

He then rounded up Achan, his family, his livestock, and all their possessions. "And all Israel stoned them with stones and burned them with fire, after they had stoned them with stones." And that made God less angry.

And Joshua …took Achan … and his sons, and his daughters, and his oxen, and his asses, and his sheep … And Joshua said, Why hast thou troubled us? the LORD shall trouble thee this day. And all Israel stoned him with stones, and burned them with fire, after they had stoned them with stones. … So the LORD turned from the fierceness of his anger. 7.24-26

Since Achan’s sons and daughters were stoned and burned along with him, there must have been at least 5 victims here. (No mention is made of his wife.)

God's next killing: The Ai massacre

The Jericho Massacre

Jericho is one of God's more famous killings. And believers seem to like it a lot. They sing songs about it, and tell their children about it.

Here's how it goes.

God tells Joshua that he has given the city of Jericho into his hands and that he and his men should march around the city every day for six days with seven priests marching before the ark blowing seven trumpets made of rams' horns.

The LORD said unto Joshua, See, I have given into thine hand Jericho, and the king thereof, and the mighty men of valour. And ye shall compass the city, all ye men of war, and go round about the city once. Thus shalt thou do six days. And seven priests shall bear before the ark seven trumpets of rams' horns. Joshua 6.2-4a

On the seventh day the seven priests will march around seven times blowing their seven trumpets. They'll make a long blast, everyone will yell, and the walls will fall down.

The seventh day ye shall compass the city seven times, and the priests shall blow with the trumpets. And it shall come to pass, that when they make a long blast with the ram's horn, and when ye hear the sound of the trumpet, all the people shall shout with a great shout; and the wall of the city shall fall down flat. Joshua 6.4b-5

So the trumpets sounded and the people yelled and the walls came tumbling down.

On the seventh day, that … they compassed the city seven times. And … at the seventh time, when the priests blew with the trumpets, Joshua said unto the people, Shout; for the LORD hath given you the city. … So the people shouted when the priests blew with the trumpets: and … the wall fell down flat. Joshua 6.15-20

Then Joshua told the soldiers to kill everyone in the city as an offering to God, except for the prostitute, Rahab, and her family. But all the silver, gold, bronze, and iron belonged to God alone.

The city shall be accursed, even it, and all that are therein, to the LORD: only Rahab the harlot shall live, she and all that are with her in the house, because she hid the messengers that we sent. And ye, in any wise keep yourselves from the accursed thing, lest ye make yourselves accursed, when ye take of the accursed thing, and make the camp of Israel a curse, and trouble it. But all the silver, and gold, and vessels of brass and iron, are consecrated unto the LORD: they shall come into the treasury of the LORD. Joshua 6.17-19

So the soldiers went into the city and killed everything in it. Men, women, young, old, cattle, sheep, and donkeys. But they spared Rahab and her family.

They utterly destroyed all that was in the city, both man and woman, young and old, and ox, and sheep, and ass, with the edge of the sword. … And Joshua saved Rahab the harlot alive, and her father's household, and all that she had. Joshua 6.21-25

(Rahab and her family were spared because she protected the Israelite spies by lying about their whereabouts. I don't know how they survived when the wall fell down, since her house was on the wall. I guess it was a miracle or something.)

Then they burned everything in the city, except for the gold, silver, iron, and bronze, which they put into God's treasury.

They burnt the city with fire, and all that was therein: only the silver, and the gold, and the vessels of brass and of iron, they put into the treasury of the house of the LORD. Joshua 6.24

After destroying Jericho, Joshua said that whoever rebuilt the city would be cursed by God and be forced to sacrifice his oldest and youngest sons.

Joshua adjured them at that time, saying, Cursed be the man before the LORD, that riseth up and buildeth this city Jericho: he shall lay the foundation thereof in his firstborn, and in his youngest son shall he set up the gates of it. Joshua 6.26

(According to 1 Kings 16:34, this prophecy was fulfilled when Hiel rebuilt Jericho. God made him lay the foundation with the body of his oldest son and set up the gates with his youngest son's body "according to the word of the Lord.")

Estimated number killed: 1000.

God's next killing: Achan and his family are stoned and burned to death

God's Killings in Deuteronomy

Here's a summary of God's killings in Deuteronomy.

	Killing Event	Verse	Estimated number killed	Cumulative total
1	God slowly kills the Israelite army	Deuteronomy 2:14-17	500,000	500,000
2	God kills the Zamzummim in the land of the giants	2:22-23	10,000	510,000
3	God hardened King Sihon's heart in order to kill all his people	2:26-28	3,000	513,000
4	God helps kill all the men, women, and children in 60 cities	3:3-6	60,000	573,000

But God not only killed in Deuteronomy; he commanded everyone else to kill, too.

Here are just some of the people God wants you to kill.

• Prophets, dreamers, and people who can do signs and wonders Deuteronomy 13:1-5

• Family and friends if they believe in the wrong god 13:6-10

• Everyone in every city that has at least one person who believes in the wrong god 13:12-17

• Anyone who has religions beliefs that are different than yours 17:2-7

• People who won't listen to a priest or a judge. 17:12-13

• All false prophets and false witnesses 18:20-22, 19:18-19

• Stubborn and rebellious sons 21:18-21

• Rape victims who don't cry out loud enough 22:23-24

• Any Amalekites you happen to run across 25:19

And if you refuse to kill any of these people (or to do any of the other things God told you to do in Deuteronomy), then God will kill you after he forces you to eat your own children. (God wrote a whole chapter about this. See Deuteronomy 28:16-68 for the gory details.)

The Worst Verse in the Bible

Ship of Fools is asking people to name the worst verse in the Bible. You can nominate your favorite worst verse here.



I always have a hard time with this. There are so many to choose from. But I picked Jeremiah 19:9.

And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend....

A god that would force parents to eat their children is a god everyone should stay away from.

Which verse do you think is the worst? I'm especially interested in what believers think about this. Are there any bad verses in the Bible, or is Jeremiah 19:9 as good as Leviticus 19:18?