Your ziff is safe with Mitt (What the Book of Mormon says about taxes)

(Re-post for tax time)

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I know Romney doesn't like to talk about his Mormon faith. And it's unconstitutional for us to ask him about it or even think about it. But I just can't help it.

What does the Book of Mormon say about politics? Taxes, for example.
Well here's a quote from Mitt's second or third favorite book, the Book of Mormon. (His favorite book is either Battlefield Earth or the Bible.)

And now it came to pass [things often come to pass in the Book of Mormon] that Zeniff [don't you just love Book of Mormon names?] conferred the kingdom upon Noah, one of his sons; therefore Noah began to reign in his stead; and he did not walk in the ways of his father. For behold, he did not keep the commandments of God, but he did walk after the desires of his own heart. And he had many wives and concubines. And he did cause his people to commit sin, and do that which was abominable in the sight of the Lord. Yea, and they did commit whoredoms and all manner of wickedness. And he laid a tax of one fifth part of all they possessed, a fifth part of their gold and of their silver, and a fifth part of their ziff, and of their copper, and of their brass and their iron; and a fifth part of their fatlings; and also a fifth part of all their grain. Mosiah 11:1-3

So King Noah was a bad guy (everyone in the Book of Mormon is either a good guy or a bad guy) who didn't keep God's commandments, had lots of wives (like Joseph Smith), and did all kinds of abominable things in front of God and everybody (also like Joseph Smith). And this bad king taxed the people 20% of all their gold, silver, copper, brass, iron, fatlings, and grain. Oh, and on their ziff, too.

Now only a bad king would put a 20% flat tax on everything, including ziff.
The point of these verses (if there is a point) is that taxes are evil and a flat tax of 20% is especially evil. Just what the heck ziff might be is another matter entirely.

Mormon apologists admit that they don't really know what ziff was, but they say it might have been some type of metal. But I doubt it.

I bet it was beer.

Book of Mormon Action Figures: Before and After the Curse of Blackness

This is, without a doubt, one of my favorite items: Book of Mormon Action Figures. (They're even better than those from My Dinner with Andre.)

Here, for example, is Laman, before and after God darkened his skin.

But in order to really appreciate them, you need to know something about Laman and his descendants (the Native Americans), as told in the Book of Mormon.

1. "Laman and (his evil brother) Lemuel ... were like unto the Jews."  (Being like a Jew is about as bad as it gets in the Book of Mormon.) 1 Nephi 2:11-13
   
2. Laman  was "white, and exceedingly fair and delightsome" before the curse, but God caused "a skin of blackness" to come upon him for disobeying his older brother Nephi. 2 Nephi 5:21
3. God also cursed the Lamanites  (Laman's descendants) causing their skin to turn dark and making them "loathsome" to His people (the Nephites). 2 Nephi 5:22, Alma 3:8
   
4. God forbids intermarriage between the Nephites and Lamanites. Those who mix seed with the Lamanites will be cursed by God with "the same cursing". (Their skin will be blackened.) 2 Nephi 5:23, Alma 3:9
   
5. God's curse on the Lamanites caused them to become a sinful, polluted, filthy, idle, ferocious, bloodthirsty, and loathsome people, who delighted in murdereing, robbing, and plundering. God cursed them because of what their fathers did.  2 Nephi 5:24, Alma 17:14-15, 26:24, Jacob 3:5, Enos 1:20, Mosiah 10:12, 25:11
   
6. If you don't repent, God will make your skin even darker than that of the Lamanites. Jacob 3:8
   
7. The Lamanites "loved murder and would drink the blood of beasts." Jarom 1:6
   
8. The Lamanites shaved their heads and ran around naked. Mosiah 10:8, Alma 3:5-6, 43:37, 44:17
   
9. God loved the Nephites, but hated the Lamanites "because of the iniquity of the tradition of their fathers." Helaman 15:3-4
10. God removed his curse from the "good" Lamanites (the ones that "united with the Nephites"), and they "became exceedingly fair, with skins "white like unto the Nephites." 3 Nephi 2:14-16
    
11. "The Lamanites ... did teach their children that they should not believe." 4 Nephi 38
    
12. The Lamanites (or Native Americans) were once "a delightsome people", but God made them a dark-skinned, "filthy and loathsome people, led about by Satan" because of their unbelief and idolatry. Mormon 5:15-18

I wonder if Mitt Romney loves these action figures as much a I do.

Bad Friday: Greater evil hath no man than this, that he is willing to kill his own son (for any fucking reason).

The three "great" Abrahamic faiths trace their origin to Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son to God. Jews and Christians believe the story told in Genesis 22, in which God tells Abraham to kill his son, Isaac, for him.

God ... said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and .. and offer him there for a burnt offering. (Genesis 22:1)

(Actually God was wrong about the "only son" thing, because Abraham, at the time, had two sons, not one. Abraham had already abandoned his first son, Ishmael, and his mother, Hagar -- with God's consent and blessing. So I guess Isaac was Abraham's only son, at least as far as he and God were concerned.)

God didn't make Abraham do the evil deed, though, substituting a ram instead at the last minute. But it was Abraham's willingness to do it that impressed God so much. Abraham passed the test because he was was willing to kill his son for God.

For his willingness to do the greatest evil any father could ever do, God blessed Abraham and made him the father of all believers.

Because thou hast done this thing, and hast not withheld thy son, thine only son ... I will bless thee ... And in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed; because thou hast obeyed my voice. Genesis 22:16

Muslims also honor Abraham for his willingness to slaughter his son, but they believe it was a different son. They believe it was Ishmael, not Isaac, that God told Abraham to kill.




Here's the story from the Quran:

When (his son) was old enough to walk with him, (Abraham) said: O my dear son, I have seen in a dream that I must sacrifice thee. So look, what thinkest thou ? He said: O my father! Do that which thou art commanded. Allah willing, thou shalt find me of the steadfast. Quran 37:102

(Notice, though, that the Quran doesn't actually name the son, so maybe a Muslim could believe that Isaac was the intended victim.)

The important thing, though, is this: Abraham was willing to kill his own son for God, and God rewarded him for it.

And then, of course, there's Jesus.

God supposedly tested himself, just like he did Abraham, only this time he went through with it. He killed his own son for some god-awful reason. I guess it was to keep himself from torturing others for stuff they didn't  do or didn't believe. Or something like that.

Believers call it Good Friday.

Mitt Romney: The Book of Mormon is an attack on all religions

OK, that's not a direct quote.

Here's what Mitt actually said: (see video below)

We are now all Catholics. Those of us who are people of faith recognize this is — an attack on one religion is an attack on all religion.

But if what he said is true, then the Book of Mormon is an attack on all religions.

Take the Catholic church for example.

The Book of Mormon says that the Catholic church is is an abominable church founded by the devil to lead souls to hell. It is more abominable that all other churches (and they are all abominable, too). It is the mother of all abominations, the whore of Babylon, and the mother of harlots. It has taken away the plain and precious parts of the gospel and perverted the ways of the Lord. The wrath of God is poured out upon it, and someday God will force Catholics to get drunk on their own blood. Only those who join the Mormon church in its fight against Catholics will be saved.

Now you probably think that I'm exaggerating a bit. But I'm not. Here are just some of the verses from the Book of Mormon that refer to the Catholic church.

I beheld this great and abominable church; and I saw the devil that he was the founder of it. 1 Nephi 13:6

A great and abominable church, which is most abominable above all other churches; for behold, they have taken away from the gospel of the Lamb many parts which are plain and most precious; and also many covenants of the Lord have they taken away. And all this have they done that they might pervert the right ways of the Lord, that they might blind the eyes and harden the hearts of the children of men. 1 Nephi 13:26-27

After the book hath gone forth through the hands of the great and abominable church, that there are many plain and precious things taken away from the book. 1 Nephi 13:28

The plain and most precious parts of the gospel of the Lamb which have been kept back by that abominable church. 1 Nephi 13:32

That great and abominable church, which was founded by the devil and his children, that he might lead away the souls of men down to hell. 1 Nephi 14:3

That great and abominable church, which is the mother of abominations, whose founder is the devil. 1 Nephi 14:9

The wrath of God was poured out upon that great and abominable church. 1 Nephi 14:15

The wrath of God is poured out upon the mother of harlots, which is the great and abominable church of all the earth, whose founder is the devil. 1 Nephi 14:17

And the blood of that great and abominable church, which is the whore of all the earth, shall turn upon their own heads; for they shall war among themselves, and the sword of their own hands shall fall upon their own heads, and they shall be drunken with their own blood. 1 Nephi 22:13

That great whore, who hath perverted the right ways of the Lord, yea, that great and abominable church, shall tumble to the dust and great shall be the fall of it. 1 Nephi 22:14

They shall repent and fight not against Zion, and do not unite themselves to that great and abominable church, they shall be saved. 2 Nephi 6:12

So if we are all Catholics now, then the Book of Mormon is an attack on us all.
(And don't even get the Book of Mormon started on Jews, non-Mormon Protestants, or unbelievers.)

Sam Harris on Free Will

If you haven't had time to read the book (it's only 60 pages or so), then you probably won't have time to watch this lecture either.

But you should do one or the other. Your choice.