Alma 43: Back to Fighting!

We made it, guys! Alma is done giving speeches to his sons, and now he's going to get back to preaching. Better yet, we're not even going to have to hear about it. Suffice it to say, Alma and his sons preached the word, and the truth, according to the spirit of prophecy and revelation.

And now it came to pass that the sons of Alma did go forth among the people, to declare the word unto them. And Alma, also, himself, could not rest, and he also went forth. Alma 43:1 

Now we shall say no more concerning their preaching, except that they preached the word, and the truth, according to the spirit of prophecy and revelation; and they preached after the holy order of God by which they were called. 43:2

So, on to the fun stuff! We return to an account of the wars between the Nephites and the Lamanites, in the 18th year of the reign of the judges.

And now I return to an account of the wars between the Nephites and the Lamanites, in the eighteenth year of the reign of the judges. 43:3

Okay, so remember the Zoramites? The guys with the funny pyramid/temples? Well, they decided to become Lamanites. And the Lamanites were getting ready to fight the Nephites. Some Amalekites joined the Lamanite coalition as well.  Meanwhile the Nephites gathered their armies together in the land of Jershon.

For behold, it came to pass that the Zoramites became Lamanites; therefore, in the commencement of the eighteenth year the people of the Nephites saw that the Lamanites were coming upon them; therefore they made preparations for war; yea, they gathered together their armies in the land of Jershon. 43:4

Thousands of Lamanites showed up in the land of Antionum, led by a man named Zerahemnah.

And it came to pass that the Lamanites came with their thousands; and they came into the land of Antionum, which is the land of the Zoramites; and a man by the name of Zerahemnah was their leader. 43:5

A very detailed battle sequence ensues, in which the Nephite army (led by a 25-year-old general named Moroni) ends up winning. Here are a few of the highlights.

The Nephites were outnumbered, but they had much better armor. Whereas the Lamanites were only wearing leather loincloths, the Nephites were wearing plate armor, and had both arm shields and head shields.

And it came to pass that he met the Lamanites in the borders of Jershon, and his people were armed with swords, and with cimeters, and all manner of weapons of war. 43:18 

And when the armies of the Lamanites saw that the people of Nephi, or that Moroni, had prepared his people with breastplates and with arm-shields, yea, and also shields to defend their heads, and also they were dressed with thick clothing— 43:19 

Now the army of Zerahemnah was not prepared with any such thing; they had only their swords and their cimeters, their bows and their arrows, their stones and their slings; and they were naked, save it were a skin which was girded about their loins; yea, all were naked, save it were the Zoramites and the Amalekites; 43:20

At first the Lamanites retreated, because they were afraid of the Nephite's new armor. When they eventually fought the Nephites, though, they fought better than they ever had before. They pierced right through the Nephite armor, and cut off the arms of the Nephites in a single stroke. They fought like friggin' dragons.

But they were not armed with breastplates, nor shields -- therefore, they were exceedingly afraid of the armies of the Nephites because of their armor, notwithstanding their number being so much greater than the Nephites. 43:21

Behold, now it came to pass that they durst not come against the Nephites in the borders of Jershon; therefore they departed out of the land of Antionum into the wilderness, and took their journey round about in the wilderness, away by the head of the river Sidon, that they might come into the land of Manti and take possession of the land; for they did not suppose that the armies of Moroni would know whither they had gone. 43:22

And they were inspired by the Zoramites and the Amalekites, who were their chief captains and leaders, and by Zerahemnah, who was their chief captain, or their chief leader and commander; yea, they did fight like dragons, and many of the Nephites were slain by their hands, yea, for they did smite in two many of their head-plates, and they did pierce many of their breastplates, and they did smite off many of their arms; and thus the Lamanites did smite in their fierce anger. 43:44

But the Nephites had a better cause (defending their wives, children, and homes), and they had God on their side. So they ended up winning the battle.

Nevertheless, the Nephites were inspired by a better cause, for they were not fighting for monarchy nor power but they were fighting for their homes and their liberties, their wives and their children, and their all, yea, for their rites of worship and their church. 43:45 

And it came to pass that they turned upon the Lamanites, and they cried with one voice unto the Lord their God, for their liberty and their freedom from bondage. 43:49 

And they began to stand against the Lamanites with power; and in that selfsame hour that they cried unto the Lord for their freedom, the Lamanites began to flee before them; and they fled even to the waters of Sidon. 43:50

Once the Nephites had surrounded the Lamanites, Moroni saw that they were terrified and he ordered his men to stop killing them.

Therefore when Zerahemnah saw the men of Lehi on the east of the river Sidon, and the armies of Moroni on the west of the river Sidon, that they were encircled about by the Nephites, they were struck with terror. 43:53 

Now Moroni, when he saw their terror, commanded his men that they should stop shedding their blood. 43:54

 That was nice of Moroni! In then next chapter we'll find out if he takes them prisoner, lets them go, or kills them...

Is it wrong to burn people to death?

(I asked this question in a post back in 2008. There was no clear answer from believers then, so I thought I'd ask again now.)

At the National Prayer Breakfast, President Obama addressed the recent burning of the Jordanian pilot by the Islamic State. He condemned the "unspeakable acts of barbarism" committed in the name of Islam, but he also had this advice for Christians:

Humanity has been grappling with these questions throughout human history. And lest we get on our high horse and think this is unique to some other place, remember that during the Crusades and the Inquisition, people committed terrible deeds in the name of Christ.

Which is undeniably true, of course. Christians (Catholics and Protestants) routinely committed unspeakable acts of cruelty, including burning people to death. And they took their inspiration from the Bible.

Yahweh

There are three commandments in the Bible that require believers to burn people to death.

1. If a man take a wife and her mother, it is wickedness: they shall be burnt with fire, both he and they. Leviticus 20:14

2. The daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire.

3. He that is taken with the accursed thing shall be burnt with fire, he and all that he hath. Joshua 7:15

And God not only commands his followers to burn people alive, he does it himself sometimes.

But that was Yahweh. What about about Jesus? What did he say about burning people to death?

Jesus

Well, it turns out that Jesus said nothing about burning people to death. He didn't tell his followers to do it and he didn't do it himself.

But he liked the idea. A lot. He just planned to wait until people die and then burn them forever in hell. Here's what he said about it:

Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Matthew 7:19.

The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth. Matthew 13:41-42

If thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire. And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire. Matthew 18:8-9

Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels. Matthew 25:41

And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched: Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched. And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched: Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched. And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire: Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched. Mark 9:43-48

There was a certain rich man, which was clothed in purple and fine linen, and fared sumptuously every day: And there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, which was laid at his gate, full of sores, And desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich man's table: moreover the dogs came and licked his sores. And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham's bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried; And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom. And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame. Luke 16:19-25

If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned. John 15:6

So that takes care of Yahweh and Jesus. What about Allah? How does he feel about burning people to death?

The Quran

Well, that is an easy question. Allah loves burning people. He mentions "the Fire" 140 times in the Quran, often with obvious relish and in great detail. Here are just a few examples:

Lo! Those who disbelieve Our revelations, We shall expose them to the Fire. As often as their skins are consumed We shall exchange them for fresh skins that they may taste the torment. 4:56

And the dwellers of the Fire cry out unto the dwellers of the Garden: Pour on us some water or some wherewith Allah hath provided you. They say: Lo! Allah hath forbidden both to disbelievers. 7:50

Thou wilt see the guilty on that day linked together in chains, Their raiment of pitch, and the Fire covering their faces. 14:49-50

We have prepared for disbelievers Fire. Its tent encloseth them. If they ask for showers, they will be showered with water like to molten lead which burneth the faces. 18:29

If those who disbelieved but knew the time when they will not be able to drive off the fire from their faces and from their backs, and they will not be helped! 21:39

But as for those who disbelieve, for them is fire of hell; it taketh not complete effect upon them so that they can die, nor is its torment lightened for them. 35:36

Those in the Fire say unto the guards of hell: Entreat your Lord that He relieve us of a day of the torment. ... the prayer of disbelievers is in vain. 40:49

Those who are immortal in the Fire and are given boiling water to drink so that it teareth their bowels. 47:15

And yet, somewhat surprisingly in light of recent events, the Quran does not command its followers to burn anyone to death. Flogging, crucifixion, amputation, and decapitation are all there, but not burning. Unless your enemy does it first -- then it's okay. (It's sort of the "Do unto others" of the Quran.)

And one who attacketh you, attack him in like manner as he attacked you. 2:194

Muhammad

And lastly, what about Muhammad? What did he say about burning people to death?

That's hard to say, since the existing stories about Muhammad's life and saying are completely unreliable. But here's a story from Ibn Ishaq's Life of Muhammad:

[T]he apostle gave orders to al-Zubayr b. al-Awwam, ‘Torture him until you extract what he has,’ so he kindled a fire with flint and steel on his chest until he was nearly dead. Then the apostle delivered him to Muhammad b. Maslama and he struck off his head, in revenge for his brother Mahmud.” p.515

And this from Bukhari (Book 1 Volume 11 Hadith 626):

The Prophet said, "No prayer is harder for the hypocrites than the Fajr and the 'Isha' prayers and if they knew the reward for these prayers at their respective times, they would certainly present themselves (in the mosques) even if they had to crawl." The Prophet added, "Certainly I decided to order the Mu'adh-dhin (call-maker) to pronounce Iqama and order a man to lead the prayer and then take a fire flame to burn all those who had not left their houses so far for the prayer along with their houses."

Of course, there are some contradictory stories. Here, for example, is what another Bukhari hadith says (Book 9 Volume 84 Hadith 57):

Some Zanadiqa (atheists) were brought to 'Ali and he burnt them. The news of this event, reached Ibn 'Abbas who said, "If I had been in his place, I would not have burnt them, as Allah's Apostle forbade it, saying, 'Do not punish anybody with Allah's punishment (fire).' I would have killed them according to the statement of Allah's Apostle, 'Whoever changed his Islamic religion, then kill him.'"

So perhaps Muhammad thought that burning is Allah's special punishment. And Allah doesn't like to share.

Is it wrong to burn people to death?

Yahweh, Jesus, and Muhammad all agree: It is not wrong to burn people -- dead or alive. It is, in fact, their favorite form of punishment.

So my question to believers is this: Are they wrong about that? Is it, as President Obama said, "an unspeakable act of barbarism" or is it a divinely sanctioned punishment that we should continue to administer today?

Is it wrong to burn people to death?

(My answer, by the way, is that it is wrong, always and everywhere, for anyone to burn anyone else for any crime whatsoever. Can any believer say the same?)

Alma 42: Alma's final advice to Corianton

You'd think that Alma would be getting close to done lecturing his son Corianton. But you'd be foolish to doubt Alma's ability to keep talking, even when he runs out of things to say.

He launches into another speech, because he could clearly see that Corianton was concerned about the justice of God with regards to his punishment of the sinner. (How did Alma possibly know that his son was thinking this?)

And now, my son, I perceive there is somewhat more which doth worry your mind, which ye cannot understand—which is concerning the justice of God in the punishment of the sinner; for ye do try to suppose that it is injustice that the sinner should be consigned to a state of misery. Alma 42:1

However he knew, one thing was clear: a lesson was coming. Alma takes his time, but I'll sum it up.

Sinning is good, because it opens up the chance of redemption. God planned for Adam and Eve to sin, so he could later save them and the rest of mankind.

For behold, if Adam had put forth his hand immediately, and partaken of the tree of life, he would have lived forever, according to the word of God, having no space for repentance; yea, and also the word of God would have been void, and the great plan of salvation would have been frustrated. 42:5

After the fall, man had lost touch with God, but his soul was still alive, yet he had a spiritual death. So it became clear that mankind had to be reclaimed from the spiritual death. Or else.

Therefore, as the soul could never die, and the fall had brought upon all mankind a spiritual death as well as a temporal, that is, they were cut off from the presence of the Lord, it was expedient that mankind should be reclaimed from this spiritual death. 42:9

Men had become carnal, sensual and devilish, so they had to use this time to repent. Otherwise they could not recieve mercy. If they did happen to recieve mercy without repentance, then it would "destroy the work of justice". But don't worry, because the work of justice can't be destroyed, because then God would cease to be God.

This line, "Then God would cease to be God," is a new favorite of Alma's. You'll see it again, don't worry.

Therefore, as they had become carnal, sensual, and devilish, by nature, this probationary state became a state for them to prepare; it became a preparatory state. 42:10

Therefore, according to justice, the plan of redemption could not be brought about, only on conditions of repentance of men in this probationary state, yea, this preparatory state; for except it were for these conditions, mercy could not take effect except it should destroy the work of justice. Now the work of justice could not be destroyed; if so, God would cease to be God. 42.13

Okay, so men need redemption, and they can't be redeemed unless there is a punishment, and so that explains heaven and hell.

Now, repentance could not come unto men except there were a punishment, which also was eternal as the life of the soul should be, affixed opposite to the plan of happiness, which was as eternal also as the life of the soul. 42.16

A man also can't repent unless he's sinned first. And a person can't sin without a law. And there can't be any laws without punishments. So we need a bunch of punishments first, and then we can figure out some laws, and then we can figure out who has sinned, and then they can repent, and then they can get mercy, and then they can go to heaven. QED.

Now, how could a man repent except he should sin? How could he sin if there was no law? How could there be a law save there was a punishment? 42.17

 Without laws, murderers won't be afraid that they will die, and men won't realize they have sinned. Justice and mercy wouldn't exist, and neither would God.

Now, if there was no law given—if a man murdered he should die—would he be afraid he would die if he should murder? 42:19

 And also, if there was no law given against sin men would not be afraid to sin. 42:20

 And if there was no law given, if men sinned what could justice do, or mercy either, for they would have no claim upon the creature? 42:21

 But there is a law given, and a punishment affixed, and a repentance granted; which repentance, mercy claimeth; otherwise, justice claimeth the creature and executeth the law, and the law inflicteth the punishment; if not so, the works of justice would be destroyed, and God would cease to be God. 42:22

But of course, (according to Alma) God exists, and so does mercy, and so everyone who repents is good to go. Phew! But watch out, because only the "truly penitent" are saved.

But God ceaseth not to be God, and mercy claimeth the penitent, and mercy cometh because of the atonement; and the atonement bringeth to pass the resurrection of the dead; and the resurrection of the dead bringeth back men into the presence of God; and thus they are restored into his presence, to be judged according to their works, according to the law and justice. 42:23

 For behold, justice exerciseth all his demands, and also mercy claimeth all which is her own; and thus, none but the truly penitent are saved. 42:24

Here Alma poses a good question. He asks if mercy robs justice. This is often a problem that people pose with redemption through faith instead of through works. Should a mass murderer go to heaven if he repents right before excecution?

Yes, apparently. Or else God would cease to be God. I'm convinced.

What, do ye suppose that mercy can rob justice? I say unto you, Nay; not one whit. If so, God would cease to be God. 42:25

So, whoever does good deeds and repents of their sins will go to heaven, and the rest will go to hell. Sounds pretty straightforward.

Therefore, O my son, whosoever will come may come and partake of the waters of life freely; and whosoever will not come the same is not compelled to come; but in the last day it shall be restored unto him according to his deeds. 42:27 

If he has desired to do evil, and has not repented in his days, behold, evil shall be done unto him, according to the restoration of God. 42:28

Alma tells his son to stop making excuses for himself, and to go be humble, and to go preach the word to the people.

Also, stay sober, son.

O my son, I desire that ye should deny the justice of God no more. Do not endeavor to excuse yourself in the least point because of your sins, by denying the justice of God; but do you let the justice of God, and his mercy, and his long-suffering have full sway in your heart; and let it bring you down to the dust in humility. 42:30 

And now, O my son, ye are called of God to preach the word unto this people. And now, my son, go thy way, declare the word with truth and soberness, that thou mayest bring souls unto repentance, that the great plan of mercy may have claim upon them. And may God grant unto you even according to my words. Amen. 42:31

Possibly Gay Bible Stories: Elijah and the dead boy

(From Chapter 4 of Strange Flesh: The Bible and Homosexuality by Steve Wells)

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When Elijah was staying at a widow’s house, her son became ill and died.

The son of the woman, the mistress of the house, fell sick; and his sickness was so sore, that there was no breath left in him. 1 Kings 17:17

Elijah told the woman to give him the dead child. He then took the boy to his room and laid him on his bed.

And he [Elijah] said unto her, Give me thy son. And he took him out of her bosom, and carried him up into a loft, where he abode, and laid him upon his own bed. 17:19

Elijah then stretched himself upon the child three times, and asked God to bring him back to life.¹

And he stretched himself upon the child three times, and cried unto the LORD, and said, O LORD my God, I pray thee, let this child's soul come into him again. 17:21

And God heard him and cured the boy.

And the LORD heard the voice of Elijah; and the soul of the child came into him again, and he revived. 1 Kings 17:22

Here is Keith Sharpe’s response in The Gay Gospels:

Why does Elijah insist on doing this in private, and why does he get on top of the boy three times? … Obviously it looks like some kind of sexual act which might be real or simulated.²

Theodore Jennings suspects that the boy’s warming flesh was an erection, like old King David’s heat in 1 Kings 1:1-4.

After the first intimate action in Elisha’s bed, we are told that the lad’s flesh becomes warm. … [T]he warming of the body by bodily proximity seems to aim at sexual arousal as the sign of bodily vitality.³

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1. A similar story is told about Paul in Acts with the reviving of Eutychus.

   Paul went down, and fell on him, and embracing him said, Trouble not yourselves; for his life is in him. Acts 20:10

2. Keith Sharpe, The Gay Gospels, p. 132.

3. Theodore Jennings, Jr., Jacob's Wound, 103.

If there was a God, she'd be rooting for the Patriots

Here's what Tom Brady had to say about it:

Why should people care about football at all? "They shouldn't," sayeth the Brady. "Look at the attention I get: It's because I throw a football. But that's what society values. That's not what God values. God could give a shit, as far as I'm concerned. He didn't invent the game. We did. I have some eye-hand coordination, and I can throw the ball. I don't think that matters to God."

And he's right about that.

God doesn't give a shit about football. Because God doesn't exist.

But if she did, she'd be a Patriot fan. (And you should be too.)