Satan vs God: an updated body count

For those of you keeping score, I've made some additions to the list of people killed by God.

	SAB, Brick Testament	Number killed
God tells Joshua to stoned to death Achan (and his family) for taking the accursed thing.	Joshua 7:10-12, 24-26, BT	5+
God tells Joshua to attack Ai and do what he did to Jericho (kill everyone).	Joshua 8:1-25, BT	12,000
God delivered Canaanites and Perizzites	Judges 1:4, BT	10,000
Ehud delivers a message from God: a knife into the king's belly	Jg.3:15-22, BT	1
God forces Midianite soldiers to kill each other.	Jg.7:2-22, 8:10, BT	120,000
Seven sons of Saul hung up before the Lord	2 Sam.21:6-9	7
God sent a lion to kill a man for not killing a prophet	1 Kg.20:35-36	1
Ahaziah is killed for talking to the wrong god.	2 Kg.1:2-4, 17, 2 Chr.22:7-9	1
Trampled to death for disbelieving Elijah	2 Kg.7:17-20	1
Jezebel	2 Kg.9:33-37	1
God sent lions to kill some foreigners	2 Kg.17:25-26	3+
Saul	1 Chr.10:14	1

So chalk up another 142,021 for God, for a new total of 2,270,365. Satan's score remains at 10.

God's uncounted and uncountable killings

In a previous post, I counted the number of people that were killed by God in the Bible. I came up with 2,270,365, but that didn't include the many massacres for which no body count is given. So, for the sake of completeness, I figured I ought to at least provide a list of God's un-named and un-numbered victims.

1. God drowns everyone on earth.

   Genesis 7:21-23, Brick Testament

2. God rains fire and brimstone on Sodom and Gomorrah, killing everyone.

   Genesis 19:24, BT

3. God kills all the firstborn Egyptian children.

   Exodus 12:29, BT

4. God drowns Pharaoh's army in the sea.

   Exodus 14:4-28, BT

5. God and Moses help Joshua kill the Amalekites.

   Exodus 17:13, BT

6. God burned to death an unknown number for complaining.

   Numbers 11:1, BT

7. God sent a plague for complaining about the food.

   Numbers 11:33, BT

8. God killed those who murmured with a plague.

   Numbers 14:36-37, BT

9. Massacre of the Aradites

   Numbers 21:3, BT

10. For complaining about the lack of food and water, God sent fiery serpents to bite the people, and many of them died.

    Numbers 21:6, BT

11. God delivers the Bashanites into Moses' hands and Moses kills everyone "until their was none left alive."

    Numbers 21:34-35, BT

12. The slaughter of the Anakim, the childen of Esau, and the Horims

    A people great, and many, and tall, as the Anakims; but the LORD destroyed them ... As he did to the children of Esau, which dwelt in Seir, when he destroyed the Horims from before them. -- Deuteronomy 2:21-22

13. God hardened the king of Heshbon's heart so that the Israelites could massacre his people.

    And the LORD our God delivered him before us; and we smote him, and his sons, and all his people. And we took all his cities at that time, and utterly destroyed the men, and the women, and the little ones, of every city, we left none to remain: -- Deuteronomy 2:33-34, BT

14. God delievered the king of Bashan so that the Israelites could massacre his people. (60 cities)

    So the LORD our God delivered into our hands Og also, the king of Bashan, and all his people: and we smote him until none was left to him remaining. ... And we utterly destroyed them, as we did unto Sihon king of Heshbon, utterly destroying the men, women, and children, of every city. -- Deuteronomy 3:3-6, BT

15. Massacre of Jericho

    And they utterly destroyed all that was in the city [Jericho], both man and woman, young and old, and ox, and sheep, and ass, with the edge of the sword. -- Joshua 6:21, BT

16. God slaughters the Amorites and even chases them "along the way" as they try to escape.

    And the LORD discomfited them before Israel, and slew them with a great slaughter at Gibeon, and chased them along the way ... the LORD cast down great stones from heaven upon them unto Azekah, and they died: they were more which died with hailstones than they whom the children of Israel slew with the sword. -- Joshua 10:10-11

17. Massacre of Makkedah

    Joshua 10:28, BT

18. Massacre of Libnah

    Joshua 10:29-30, BT

19. Massacre of Lachish

    Joshua 10:32, BT

20. Massacre of Gezer

    Joshua 10:33, BT

21. Massacre of Eglon

    Joshua 10:34-35, BT

22. Massacre of Hebron

    Joshua 10:36-37, BT

23. Massacre of Debir

    Joshua 10:38-39, BT

24. God delivers the Hazorites.

    The LORD delivered them into the hand of Israel ... and they smote them, until they left them none remaining. -- Joshua 11:8-12, BT

25. Massacre of the Anakim

    Joshua 11:20-21, BT

26. Massacre of the Canaanites

    Judges 4:15, BT

27. God delivered the Ammonites to Jephthah to slaughter.

    The LORD delivered them into [Jephthah's] hands. And he smote them ... with a very great slaughter. -- Judges 11:32-33

28. God forces the Philistine soldiers to kill each other.

    Every man's sword was against his fellow, and there was a very great discomfiture. -- 1 Samuel 14:20

29. God orders Saul to kill every Amalekite man, women, and child.

    Thus saith the LORD of hosts ... go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass. ... And Saul smote the Amalekites ... and utterly destroyed all the people with the edge of the sword. -- 1 Samuel 15:2-18

30. God delivers the Philistines.

    I will deliver the Philistines into thine hand. So David ... smote them with a great slaughter. -- 1 Samuel 23:2-5

31. God delivers the Philistines to David (again).

    And David enquired of the LORD, saying, Shall I go up to the Philistines? ... And the LORD said unto David, Go up: for I will doubtless deliver the Philistines into thine hand. ... And David did so, as the LORD had commanded him; and smote the Philistines." -- 2 Samuel 5:19, 25

32. God sent a three-year famine because of something Saul did.

    Then there was a famine in the days of David three years, year after year; and David enquired of the LORD. And the LORD answered, It is for Saul, and for his bloody house, because he slew the Gibeonites." -- 2 Samuel 21:1

33. Baasha killed everyone in the house of Jeroboam "according to the saying of the Lord."

    He smote all the house of Jeroboam; he left not to Jeroboam any that breathed, until he had destroyed him, according unto the saying of the LORD. -- 1 Kings 15:29-30

34. Zimri killed everyone in the house of Baasha "according to the word of the Lord."

    He slew all the house of Baasha: he left him not one that pisseth against a wall ... according to the word of the LORD. -- 1 Kings 16:11-12

35. God calls for a seven year famine.

    The LORD hath called for a famine; and it shall also come upon the land seven years. -- 2 Kings 8:1

36. God delivered the Israelites into the hand of the Chaldeans.

    The wrath of the LORD arose against his people, till there was no remedy. Therefore he brought upon them the king of the Chaldees, who slew their young men with the sword in the house of their sanctuary, and had no compassion upon young man or maiden, old man, or him that stooped for age: he gave them all into his hand. -- 2 Chronicles 36:16-17

The worth of a woman: the Bible vs. the Quran

Don't you love it when the Bible and the Quran agree (more or less) on something? I do. Because whenever they do, you can be pretty sure they're both wrong.

Take the worth of a woman, for example. They go at it from slightly different angles, but come up with the same answer. A woman is worth about half as much as a man.

Here's what the Bible has to say.

And thy estimation shall be of the male from twenty years old even unto sixty years old, even thy estimation shall be fifty shekels of silver.... And if it be a female, then thy estimation shall be thirty shekels.

And if it be from five years old even unto twenty years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male twenty shekels, and for the female ten shekels.

And if it be from a month old even unto five years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male five shekels of silver, and for the female thy estimation shall be three shekels of silver.

And if it be from sixty years old and above; if it be a male, then thy estimation shall be fifteen shekels, and for the female ten shekels. -- Leviticus 27:3-7

So, depending on their age, females are worth 1/2 to 2/3 as much as males.

But what does the Quran say?

Well it doesn't come right out, like the Good Book does, and place a monetary value on human life, male and female. But it does compare the value of men and women from a financial point of view.

Allah chargeth you concerning (the provision for) your children: to the male the equivalent of the portion of two females, and if there be women more than two, then theirs is two-thirds of the inheritance, and if there be one (only) then the half. -- Quran 4:11

... unto the male is the equivalent of the share of two females. -- Quran 4:176

And the Quran tells us just how much we should trust a woman's testimony: it's worth half that of a man's.

And call two witness from among your men, two witnesses. And if two men be not at hand, then a man and two women. -- Quran 2:282

So praised be Jesus and Muhammed (peanut butter and jelly be upon them)! The Bible and the Quran agree: a woman is worth half as much as a man.

A tale of two prophets

Okay. I've missed another one. (Thanks Joshua Ditty)

In 1 Kings 13, there's a story about two prophets, where one prophet is killed by God (well, a lion that is sent by God) for believing another prophet's lie.

I know it's a silly story, and it's a bit complicated, but it ups the score for God to 2,124,335+ (not including Job's sons and daughters). Satan's score remains at 10.

Have ye saved all the women alive?

Oops! In my post, How many has God killed?, I forgot to include the Midianite massacre. But luckily David Plotz in Blogging the Bible reminded me.

Plotz calls it the "most hideous war crime in a Bible filled with them." And he's right about that. It is simply impossible to read this and still believe that it was inspired by a kind and loving God. Here's a brief summary, but if you haven't read the entire story, be sure to do so. (Numbers 31:1-35)

God tells Moses to "avenge the children of Israel of the Midianites." So "they warred against the Midianites, as the LORD commanded Moses; and they slew all the males," taking the women and children captive.

But when the officers returned from the battle, Moses was angry with them, saying, "Have ye saved all the women alive?" So he tells them to

...kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves. (Numbers 31:17-18)

The soldiers do as they were told, killing all the women and children except for the virgins, of which there were 32,000. And since there must have been at least twice as many men, non-virgin women, and young boys, I used 90,000 for the Midianite massacre in the revised death toll.

The Brick Testament: Massacre of the Midianties