28 May 2007

Getting a tan from the Book of Mormon

The Book of Mormon is black and white about skin color.

White skin is good and "delightsome"; black skin is bad and "loathsome". In fact, God created dark skin just to punish people for their bad behavior.

And he had caused the cursing to come upon them, yea, even a sore cursing, because of their iniquity ... wherefore, as they were white, and exceedingly fair and delightsome, that they might not be enticing unto my people the Lord God did cause a skin of blackness to come upon them. And thus saith the Lord God: I will cause that they shall be loathsome unto thy people. 2 Nephi 5:21-22
This color-coding scheme was designed by God to separate the good from the bad and to keep them forever separate. God will curse the children that result from any "seed mixing".
And cursed shall be the seed of him that mixeth with their seed; for they shall be cursed even with the same cursing. And the Lord spake it, and it was done. 2 Nephi 5:23
And the difference between the races is much more than skin deep. God not only darkened the skin of people of color; he made them lazy, wild, and mischievous, as well.
And because of their cursing which was upon them they did become an idle people, full of mischief and subtlety, and did seek in the wilderness for beasts of prey. 2 Nephi 5:24

[But people of color shouldn't give up all hope. God's curse can be undone, at least in certain circumstances. An especially well-behaved dark-skinned person may become white and delightsome again! (See 3 Nephi 2:14-16)]

And readers of this blog should take note: God may cause your skin to darken if you spend your time dwindling in unbelief.

And the angel said unto me: Behold these shall dwindle in unbelief. And it came to pass that I beheld, after they had dwindled in unbelief they became a dark, and loathsome, and a filthy people, full of idleness and all manner of abominations. 1 Nephi 12:22-23
But then, that might not be such a bad thing. You'll be loathsome, filthy, lazy, and abominable to God, but you'll get a nice, safe tan out of it!

27 April 2007

Everything in the Old Testament points to Jesus

Christians often say that everything in the Old Testament points to Jesus. But do they really believe it?

Does Malachi 2:3 point to Christ?

Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces.

How about Ezekiel 23:20?

For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

Deuteronomy 25:11-12?

When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets: Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her.

All the nasty, cruel, absurd stuff in the Old Testament points to Jesus?

If I were a Christian, I think I'd point these verses at someone else.

15 April 2007

How many species did Adam name?

And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. Genesis 2:19-20

So how many species did Adam name?

Well, if you believe the Genesis story, "every living creature" was directly and immediately created by God in that failed matchmaking attempt. God hoped that one of them (the bot fly maybe) would strike Adam's fancy, but none of them did. Shucks! So God created Eve instead.

In the process, though, Adam named all of the species that God created. And he did it in a single afternoon.

So why is it taking us so long? Thousands of biologists have been working for for nearly 350 years, yet they still haven't named them all.

About ten days ago, the Integrated Taxonomic Information System (ITIS) recorded its millionth species. But that leaves another 750,000 known species that have yet to be included. And no one knows (except maybe Adam and God) how many unknown species are still out there. Some estimates put it at as many as ten million or so (not including extinct species).

So Adam must have identified and named millions of species on that fine afternoon in the garden of Eden. 350,000 species of beetles, 120,000 flies, 100,000 parasitic wasps, 20,000 nematodes. And he was just getting started. He must have needed that nap after he was done. (I sympathize with Adam. I spent a few hours this afternoon trying to identify a half dozen aquatic invertebrates.)

But it was all part of God's plan. He was trying to find a mate for Adam and he just got carried away with beetles, flies, wasps, and worms. Stuff like that happens in the Bible.

28 March 2007

The Best Book in the Bible (Revisted)

In my last post, I tried to find the best book in the Bible by summing up the number of good things (that I could find) in each book. When goodness is measured in that way, Proverbs is the winner, with 56 good passages.

But Proverbs is, as Bible books go, a fairly big book. So I repeated the analysis using as the measure of goodness the number of good things per 100 verses. With this metric, Ecclesiastes (17.12) is by far the best book in the Bible. (The next best, James, has less than half as many, 8.33.)

There's still a problem, though (as Jason Macker pointed out), with this measure of goodness. A book might have a few good things to say, but have twice as many cruel and intolerant ideas. How can the amount of bad stuff be accounted for in the goodness metric?

Well, here's the way I did it. As before, I totalled the number of good things in each book, but I subtracted the number of bad things. That way, I come up the book's "net goodness." (I totalled cruelty, injustice, intolerance, family values, women, and homosexuality to get the number of bad things, since the verses marked with these categories are all morally objectionable.)

Here's how it looks with this metric.

Book Net Goodness (good - bad)
Ecclesiastes 36
Proverbs 7
Jonah 0
James 0
3 John 0
Philippians -1
Philemon -1
Galatians -2
Song of Solomon -3
1 Thessalonians -3
Colossians -4
2 John -4
Nehemiah -5
Haggai -5
1 John -5
Jude -5
Joel -6
Ruth -7
Ezra -7
Habakkuk -7
Titus -7
1 Peter -7
Daniel -8
Ephesians -8
Obadiah -9
2 Thessalonians -11
2 Timothy -12
Nahum -13
2 Peter -13
Malachi -14
2 Corinthians -14
1 Timothy -14
Hebrews -14
Esther -20
Romans -25
Job -26
Lamentations -26
Zephaniah -28
Mark -28
1 Chronicles -29
Micah -31
John -31
1 Corinthians -32
Zechariah -37
Acts -42
Amos -50
Luke -50
2 Chronicles -52
Hosea -54
Joshua -69
1 Kings -75
2 Kings -82
2 Samuel -84
Matthew -86
Isaiah -90
Revelation -90
Judges -104
1 Samuel -104
Numbers -109
Leviticus -116
Exodus -144
Psalms -145
Ezekiel -145
Genesis -164
Deuteronomy -222
Jeremiah -247

So using this metric, Ecclessiates is the best book, with a net goodness of 36. The next best is Proverbs with 7.

What is surprising (to me anyway) is that these are the only two good books in the Bible. The other 64 are either neutral, with a net goodness of zero (Jonah, James, and 3 John), or bad (net goodness < 0).

But, as before, these values do not take into account the size of the book. To account for size, I found the net number of good verses per 100 verses. Here is the result, ranked from best to worst.

Book Net good per 100 verses
Ecclesiastes 16.22
Proverbs 0.77
Jonah 0.00
James 0.00
3 John 0.00
Philippians -0.96
Nehemiah -1.23
Galatians -1.34
Daniel -2.24
Job -2.43
Ezra -2.50
Song of Solomon -2.56
1 Chronicles -3.08
1 Thessalonians -3.37
John -3.53
Philemon -4.00
Mark -4.13
Acts -4.17
Colossians -4.21
Luke -4.34
Hebrews -4.62
1 John -4.76
Ephesians -5.16
2 Corinthians -5.45
Romans -5.77
Psalms -5.89
2 Chronicles -6.33
1 Peter -6.67
Isaiah -6.97
1 Corinthians -7.32
Matthew -8.03
Joel -8.22
Ruth -8.24
Numbers -8.46
1 Kings -9.19
Joshua -10.49
Genesis -10.70
Ezekiel -11.39
2 Kings -11.40
Exodus -11.87
Esther -11.98
2 Samuel -12.09
1 Timothy -12.39
Habakkuk -12.50
1 Samuel -12.84
Haggai -13.16
Leviticus -13.50
2 Timothy -14.46
Titus -15.22
Judges -16.83
Lamentations -16.88
Zechariah -17.54
Jeremiah -18.11
Jude -20.00
2 Peter -21.31
Revelation -22.28
Deuteronomy -23.15
2 Thessalonians -23.40
Malachi -25.45
Hosea -27.41
Nahum -27.66
Micah -29.52
2 John -30.77
Amos -34.25
Obadiah -42.86
Zephaniah -52.83

Once again, Ecclesiastes is the best, with over 16 net good things per 100 verses. The only other good book, as judged by this metric, is Proverbs, with less than one net good thing per 100 verses. All the other books in the Bible (including all the New Testament) are either no good or just plain bad.

(The overall average for the Bible is 9.02 net bad things / 100 verses.
See here for more "good stuff" analysis.)