Mosiah 18: Mormon, Mormon, Mormon, Mormon, Mormon...

We met Alma last chapter, when he tried to convince King Noah not to kill Abinadi.  It didn't go so well... it ended with King Noah burning Abinadi at the stake, and ordering the death of Alma, too.  Alma managed to escape, and after he did he started preaching to the people in private.

And now, it came to pass that Alma, who had fled from the servants of king Noah, repented of his sins and iniquities, and went about privately among the people, and began to teach the words of Abinadi 18:1 

 And many did believe his words. 18:3

Apparently he was a pretty good speaker, and he created quite the following.  He took his followers to a land called Mormon.  It's called "Mormon" because it's infested with wild beasts. Makes sense.

And it came to pass that as many as did believe him did go forth to a place which was called Mormon, having received its name from the king, being in the borders of the land having been infested, by times or at seasons, by wild beasts. 18:4 

Alma takes his followers to the Waters of Mormon and baptizes them all.  Then he ordains priests, one for every 50 followers.

Alma and Helam were buried in the water; and they arose and came forth out of the water rejoicing, being filled with the Spirit. 18:14 

And again, Alma took another, and went forth a second time into the water, and baptized him according to the first, only he did not bury himself again in the water. 18:15 

And after this manner he did baptize every one that went forth to the place of Mormon; and they were in number about two hundred and four souls; yea, and they were baptized in the waters of Mormon, and were filled with the grace of God. 18:16

The priests were required to support themselves, though. Alma didn't want any spoiled priests like Noah had.

18:24 And he also commanded them that the priests whom he had ordained should labor with their own hands for their support.

He also seemed to favor progressive taxation. He demanded little of those with little, and more from those with more to give.

And again Alma commanded that the people of the church should impart of their substance, every one according to that which he had; if he have more abundantly he should impart more abundantly; and of him that had but little, but little should be required; and to him that had not should be given. 18:27

Everything seemed to be going well in the land of Mormon.  They didn't even mind the word "Mormon" back then.  They actually seem to use it an amazing amount.

And now it came to pass that all this was done in Mormon, yea, by the waters of Mormon, in the forest that was near the waters of Mormon; yea, the place of Mormon, the waters of Mormon, the forest of Mormon, how beautiful are they to the eyes of them who there came to the knowledge of their Redeemer; yea, and how blessed are they, for they shall sing to his praise forever. 18:30

 Of course, nowadays you are supposed to call them "Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints".  You could turn this verse into a whole page if you did that!

Everything was good until King Noah sends out spies and found out about them.  Of course, Noah sent his army out to destroy them, and they fled into the wilderness, as usual.

But behold, it came to pass that the king, having discovered a movement among the people, sent his servants to watch them. Therefore on the day that they were assembling themselves together to hear the word of the Lord they were discovered unto the king.  18:32

And now the king said that Alma was stirring up the people to rebellion against him; therefore he sent his army to destroy them. 18:33  

And it came to pass that Alma and the people of the Lord were apprised of the coming of the king's army; therefore they took their tents and their families and departed into the wilderness. 18:34

Earlier we learned that there were 200 followers of Alma, but 450 people flee from King Noah's army.  It must have been hard to depart in the wilderness with so many small children, but I'm sure they are used to it.  

Mosiah 16-17: The end of Abinadi

Chapter 16 wraps up Abinadi's speech, and thankfully, it's the last we'll have to hear from him  He continues with the usual threats (but this time quoting language from Matthew 22:13):

And then shall the wicked be cast out, and they shall have cause to howl, and weep, and wail, and gnash their teeth; and this because they would not hearken unto the voice of the Lord; therefore the Lord redeemeth them not. 16:2 

But there will also be rewards for the righteous:

If they be good, to the resurrection of endless life and happiness; and if they be evil, to the resurrection of endless damnation, being delivered up to the devil, who hath subjected them, which is damnation -- 16:11 

And, one last time, he calls for the sinners to repent (or at least tremble):

And now, ought ye not to tremble and repent of your sins, and remember that only in and through Christ ye can be saved? 16:13 

King Noah doesn't listen. Instead, it came to pass that he commanded his priests to kill Abinadi.

 And now it came to pass that when Abinadi had finished these sayings, that the king commanded that the priests should take him and cause that he should be put to death. 17:1 

But his words were not spoken in vain. There was at least one who heard him. He was a descendant of Nephi, and his name was Alma.

But there was one among them whose name was Alma, he also being a descendant of Nephi. And he was a young man, and he believed the words which Abinadi had spoken, for he knew concerning the iniquity which Abinadi has testified against them; therefore he began to plead with the king that he would not be angry with Abinadi, but suffer that he might depart in peace.  17:2 

But King Noah's mind was made up. He was going to kill Abinadi, and now he was going to kill Alma, too.

But the king was more wroth, and caused that Alma should be cast out from among them, and sent his servants after him that they might slay him.17:3 

But Alma got away from Noah's priests, and he hid in the woods for a few days. Noah threw Abinadi in prison, and then brought him out to hear his sentence: Death. Abinadi held to his words, and threatens Noah one more time.

Now Abinadi said unto him: I say unto you, I will not recall the words which I have spoken unto you concerning this people, for they are true; and that ye may know of their surety I have suffered myself that I have fallen into your hands. 17:9  

Yea, and I will suffer even until death, and I will not recall my words, and they shall stand as a testimony against you. And if ye slay me ye will shed innocent blood, and this shall also stand as a testimony against you at the last day. 17:10 

This almost scares King Noah enough to release Abinadi.  But then his priests goad him on, and he is forced to burn Abinadi to death.  That's how it goes sometimes.

And now king Noah was about to release him, for he feared his word; for he feared that the judgments of God would come upon him.17:11   

But the priests lifted up their voices against him, and began to accuse him, saying: He has reviled the king. Therefore the king was stirred up in anger against him, and he delivered him up that he might be slain.17:12  

And it came to pass that they took him and bound him, and scourged his skin with faggots, yea, even unto death. 17:13

While he was burning, he cursed them pretty good.  He covers all of his the basics: they will be burned, afflicted with disease, hunted by their enemies...

 Ye shall be afflicted with all manner of diseases because of your iniquities. 17:16

Ye shall be hunted, and ye shall be taken by the hand of your enemies, and then ye shall suffer, as I suffer, the pains of death by fire. 17:18

Thus God executeth vengeance upon those that destroy his people. O God, receive my soul. 17:19 

So Abinadi died, sealing the truth of his words by his death.  (Don't worry, it didn't make sense to me, either)

And now, when Abinadi had said these words, he fell, having suffered death by fire; yea, having been put to death because he would not deny the commandments of God, having sealed the truth of his words by his death. 17:20

2 Machabees 9: God killed Antiochus with an incurable bowel disease

I'm in the process of adding the Apocrypha (or Deuterocanonical books) to the SAB, highlighting and annotating as I go along. In 2 Machabees 9, I came across the story of Antiochus.

Anitochus was a Seleucid king who, according to 2 Machabees, mistreated the Jews. So God paid him back by giving him "an incurable and invisible plague" that caused "a dreadful pain in his bowels ... and bitter torments of the inner parts."

The Lord the God of Israel ... struck him with an incurable and an invisible plague ... a dreadful pain in his bowels came upon him, and bitter torments of the inner parts. 2 Machabees 9:5

While Antiochus suffered from his God-given bowel disease, worms swarmed out of his body, "his flesh fell off, and the filthiness of his smell was noisome." No one could get near him because of the "intolerable stench." It got so bad, in fact, that Antiochus couldn't even "abide his own stench."

Worms swarmed out of the body of this man, and whilst he lived in sorrow and pain, his flesh fell off, and the filthiness of his smell was noisome. 

The man that thought a little before he could reach to the stars of heaven, no man could endure to carry, for the intolerable stench. 

Being admonished by the scourge of God, his pains increasing every moment.

He himself could not now abide his own stench. 9:9-12

As you can probably imagine, this was getting annoying to Antiochus. So he did what any wicked man would do in his situation: he became a Jew and begged God to stop tormenting him.

Then this wicked man prayed to the Lord ... to obtain mercy.
...
Yea also, that he would become a Jew himself, and would go through every place of the earth, and declare the power of God. 9:13-17

But God didn't stop. Antiochus "died a miserable death" from his God-given bowel disease

Thus the murderer and blasphemer, being grievously struck ... died a miserable death. 9:28

Or did he?

There's another story about Antiochus's death in the same book. In this one, Antiochus is smashed with stones as he entered the temple in Jerusalem. His head is cut off and his body chopped into pieces -- all with God's help and blessing, of course.

When Antiochus was come in: and opening a secret entrance of the temple, they cast stones and slew the leader, and them that were with him, and hewed them in pieces, and cutting off their heads they threw them forth. Blessed be God in all things, who hath delivered up the wicked. 2 Machabees 1:16-17

Although neither story is true, both give God the credit, so so will I. 

(There's another account of Antiochus's death in 1 Machabees 6:1-16, in which he is scared to death by the Jews, without any clear involvement from God. No mention is made of bowels, worms, stench, dropped stones, decapitation, or dismemberment.)

25 Jan 13 note: Added How did Antiochus die? to the contradictions.

Mosiah 15: O, how beautiful upon the mountains are their feet!

In Mosiah 15, Abinadi continues his speech.  He's done quoting Isaiah, and now he's getting to the important bit about Jesus and God, who are the same guy as it turns out.  Here we go:

Abinadi said unto them: I would that ye should understand that God himself shall come down among the children of men, and shall redeem his people. 15:1  

And because he dwelleth in flesh he shall be called the Son of God, and having subjected the flesh to the will of the Father, being the Father and the Son. 15:2

The Father, because he was conceived by the power of God; and the Son, because of the flesh; thus becoming the Father and Son 15:3

And they are one God, yea, the very Eternal Father of heaven and of earth. 15:4

And thus the flesh becoming subject to the Spirit, or the Son to the Father, being one God... 15:5

In case you didn't get enough Isaiah last chapter, Abinadi has sprinkled some more of this wise book into his speech:

 And these are they who have published peace, who have brought good tidings of good, who have published salvation; and said unto Zion: Thy God reigneth!15:14

And now he starts talking about the folks who are spreading the word about God.  They must have had some nice feet, because he just can't stop talking about it.

 And O how beautiful upon the mountains were their feet! 15:15 

Lets hear it once more!  (In case you missed it) 

And again, how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of those that are still publishing peace! 15:16 

One more time, with feeling!

And again, how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of those who shall hereafter publish peace, yea, from this time henceforth and forever! 15:17 

But wait!  That's not all!  

And behold, I say unto you, this is not all. For O how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that is the founder of peace, yea, even the Lord, who has redeemed his people; yea, him who has granted salvation unto his people. 15:18

One day, everyone on the planet will have heard the teachings of the Mormons. (This is why they have so many missionaries out there...)    

And now I say unto you that the time shall come that the salvation of the Lord shall be declared to every nation, kindred, tongue, and people. 15:28

Then he finishes up the chapter with a few more quotes from Isaiah 52:

Yea, Lord, thy watchmen shall lift up their voice; with the voice together shall they sing; for they shall see eye to eye, when the Lord shall bring again Zion. 15:29

Break forth into joy, sing together, ye waste places of Jerusalem; for the Lord hath comforted his people, he hath redeemed Jerusalem. 15:30

The Lord hath made bare his holy arm in the eyes of all the nations; and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God. 15:31

God is as strong as a unicorn (You can't prove a negative)

"God ... is as strong as a unicorn." Numbers 23:22

Believers (and many skeptics) often say that you can't disprove the existence of God because you can't prove a negative.

But if that is true for God, isn't it also true for unicorns?

How do we know that unicorns don't exist?

(How could God be stronger than a nonexistent being?)

For these and other important questions, see Stephen Law's post, "You Can't Prove a Negative".