The Book of Mormon Broadway Review

Hello! My name is Elder Wells. And I would like to share with you this show I saw recently. 

You may have noticed that I've been making quite a few references to the Book of Mormon musical in my blog posts. That's because it is actually very accurate Well, now that I've seen it a couple of times on Broadway, I feel qualified to give a review to everyone here.

Overall, it's great, and you should see go see it the next chance you get. 

But if you don't have the chance to, simply listening to the soundtrack is a pretty great substitute. And, you can do that for free, song-by-song, on Youtube. 

If you get a chance to see it on Broadway, there is a great low cost option that I took advantage of. If you don't mind not having a seat, and standing for the entire show, you can get to the show 2 hours early and buy a Standing Room Only ticket for $28. Tickets to the show tend to run $150-500, so this is quite a deal. The view from the Standing Room Only spots is great. You are right behind the Orchestra seating, so you have a great view of the whole stage. I have now seen the show twice this way, and I really didn't even notice the standing. You have a little railing to lean against, and the show is so good that it really captures your attention. That said, wear some comfortable shoes if you plan to get a SRO ticket. 

There is also a way to get really good, cheap seats by doing the lottery. For most shows on Broadway they raffle off a certain amount of great seats for $30 or so. It's a tradition that was started with the show "Rent" and has continued on today with most shows... but, it's pretty unlikely your name will get drawn out of all of the people who try it,  so have someone waiting in the SRO line as a backup. 

The Eugene O'Neill Theatre, complete with the angel Moroni

My favorite parts of the show were the Ugandan's play for the church leaders, "Hasa Diga Ebowi", "Turn it off", which had an amazing dance number, "I believe", and "Baptize me". All of these songs were great songs themselves, but also had really funny jokes throughout them that really kept the energy of the show going.

I need to make one of these. 

Outside of the songs, the story played out like a long South Park episode, and that is not a complaint. The script stayed exactly where it wanted to be -- either lingering on a scene to make a joke, or skipping ahead quickly to get to where the action was. You notice this particularly in the beginning of the show, where the young elders are quickly paired up, given their mission destination, and then all of the sudden in the airport saying goodbye to their families. Since we don't really know the characters very well yet, there is no need to hang around.

The characters really felt like Mormons, which I felt was the strongest part of the show. They snuck in a lot of jokes about coffee, swearing, and irrational thinking into the script, and each of these jokes were hits.


One of my favorite running jokes was when Elder Cunningham couldn't remember Nabulungi's name, so he kept calling her "Nutella", "Neutrogena", and other words starting with N. It's a runnning joke that just keeps getting funnier as the show progresses. 

Technically, everything was amazing. But I would expect no less from a Broadway show that has been running for more than a year. 

Here are a few of my complaints about the show. First off, I question the use of voiceovers in telling the Mormon story in the very beginning. I think that it is clear that the angel Moroni, and Jesus are not actually speaking the words, and I think that it puts the audience on edge that the whole show may be done this way (which of course it won't). Since you are already paying actors to play these roles, why not make them speaking roles? Next would be the length of the "Spooky Mormon Hell Dream" song, which drags a bit, and the continued, somewhat overdone joke about the doctor having maggots in his scrotum. It was an okay joke as a one-off line, but it wasn't good enough to warrant its continued reference throughout the show. I also think that the last "Orlando" reprise was a bit stale, and could have been eliminated. I think that the whole show could have used a really sharp editor who was willing to not be a yes-man to Matt and Trey. Of course they were going to write a good show, but some of the script should have undergone a little more scrutiny than a 22-minute show typically gets, because it will probably be on Broadway for 20+ years, and everyone will have to give pity laughs to any mediocre joke that slips in there. 

Also, ask the people at the box office if the roles of Elder Price and Elder Cunningham are being played by understudies that night. One of the times I went, the role of Elder Cunningham was played by an understudy, and honestly, he was much worse. It really took away from the show, because he is such a critical role (and so hard to play). 

The show is touring around the country, so you'll probably have a chance to see it soon. If you've already seen it, let me know what you thought of the show in the comments. Did you like the maggots joke? 

Possibly Gay Bible Stories: There's something about Joseph

(From Chapter 4 of Strange Flesh: The Bible and Homosexuality by Steve Wells)

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Joseph was Jacob’s favorite child whom he loved more than all his other children, and he made no attempt to hide it from his other sons. He even made a special “coat of many colors” just for his favorite son. Because of this special treatment, Joseph was hated by his brothers.

Now Israel [AKA Jacob] loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colors. And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him. Genesis 37:3-4

Joseph’s coat of many colors

Jacob famously gave Joseph a “coat of many colors,” which, according to the argument that I will be calling Gay Joseph Theory (GJT),¹ was actually a dress or robe with long sleeves, like that of David’s daughter, Tamar -- a dress that kings made for their virgin daughters.

And she had a garment of divers colours upon her: for with such robes were the king's daughters that were virgins apparelled ... And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours. 2 Samuel 13:18-19

According to the GJT, Jacob, dressed his favorite son in fancy girls’ clothes,² in opposition to the law in Deuteronomy 22:5, which says: “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.” If so, Joseph was a transvestite and an abomination to God.

Joseph’s Dreams

Be that as it may, one thing was certain: Joseph was annoying. He kept telling his brothers about his dreams where they all worshipped him.

And Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it his brethren: and they hated him yet the more. And he said unto them, Hear, I pray you, this dream which I have dreamed: For, behold, we were binding sheaves in the field, and, lo, my sheaf arose, and also stood upright; and, behold, your sheaves stood round about, and made obeisance to my sheaf. And his brethren said to him, Shalt thou indeed reign over us? or shalt thou indeed have dominion over us? And they hated him yet the more for his dreams, and for his words. And he dreamed yet another dream, and told it his brethren, and said, Behold, I have dreamed a dream more; and, behold, the sun and the moon and the eleven stars made obeisance to me. Genesis 37:5-9

The plot against Joseph

So Joseph’s older brothers decided to get rid of him.

They got their chance one day when Joseph came to meet them while they were taking care of the flocks.³

Joseph went after his brethren.... And when they saw him afar off, even before he came near unto them, they conspired against him to slay him. And they said one to another, Behold, this dreamer cometh. Come now therefore, and let us slay him, and cast him into some pit, and we will say, Some evil beast hath devoured him: and we shall see what will become of his dreams. Genesis 37:17-20

But before they killed him, one of the brothers, Reuben, talked the others out of it. He suggested that they just throw Joseph in a pit and leave him there. (Reuben planned on coming back and rescuing him later. See the NIV translation)

Reuben said unto them, Shed no blood, but cast him into this pit that is in the wilderness, and lay no hand upon him; that he might rid him out of their hands, to deliver him to his father again. 37:22

“Don’t shed any blood. Throw him into this cistern here in the wilderness, but don’t lay a hand on him.” Reuben said this to rescue him from them and take him back to his father. 37:22 (NIV)

So the brothers stripped Joseph of his girlish robe and threw his highness into a pit.

When Joseph was come unto his brethren, that they stript Joseph out of his coat, his coat of many colours that was on him; And they took him, and cast him into a pit. 37:23-24

A little later, while they were eating lunch, a caravan of Ishmaelites passed by on their way to Egypt.

And they sat down to eat bread: and they lifted up their eyes and looked, and, behold, a company of Ishmeelites came from Gilead with their camels bearing spicery and balm and myrrh, going to carry it down to Egypt. 37:25

Judah suggested that they sell Joseph to the Ishmaelites, and his brothers said, “OK.”

And Judah said unto his brethren ... let us sell him to the Ishmeelites.... And his brethren were content. 37:26-27

Then the story gets confusing. Some Midianites pass by and remove Joseph from the pit and sell him to the Ishmaelites.

Then there passed by Midianites merchantmen; and they drew and lifted up Joseph out of the pit, and sold Joseph to the Ishmeelites for twenty pieces of silver: and they brought Joseph into Egypt. 37:28

Reuben went to the pit and saw that Joseph was gone, so “he rent his clothes.” (Tore his clothes.)

And Reuben returned unto the pit; and, behold, Joseph was not in the pit; and he rent his clothes. 37:29

The other brothers weren’t upset, though. They just took Joseph's coat, killed a goat, dipped the coat in the blood, brought the bloody coat back to Jacob, and said, “Hey, look what we found. It looks like Joseph’s gay coat, doesn’t it?”

His brethren … took Joseph's coat, and killed a kid of the goats, and dipped the coat in the blood; And they sent the coat of many colours, and they brought it to their father; and said, This have we found: know now whether it be thy son's coat or no. 37:30-32

Jacob recognized the coat and assumed that an animal ate Joseph. So he rent his clothes and put sackcloth on his loins. (This is the first stage of biblical grief. The next is putting ashes on your head and falling on your face.)

And he knew it, and said, It is my son's coat; an evil beast hath devoured him; Joseph is without doubt rent in pieces. And Jacob rent his clothes, and put sackcloth upon his loins. 37:33-34

Then the Midianites sold Joseph to the captain of Pharaoh’s guard, Potiphar.

The Midianites sold him into Egypt unto Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh's, and captain of the guard. 37:36

(I know, the Midianites sold Joseph to the Ishmaelites in 37:28, but I guess the Ishmaelites sold him back again to the Midianites who then sold him to Potiphar.)

But then, just when you thought you had the whole Midianite/Ishmaelite thing straightened out, there’s this verse to confuse you again.

And Joseph was brought down to Egypt; and Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, captain of the guard, an Egyptian, bought him of the hands of the Ishmeelites, which had brought him down thither. 39:1

So I guess the Midianites sold Joseph one more time to the Ishmaelites.

(The GJT says that one of the main reasons that Joseph was hated by his brothers was that he was gay.⁴ The Midianites/Ishmaelites took a liking to Joseph because they too were gay, and were, therefore, attracted to Joseph.⁵)

Joseph in Egypt

Be that as it may, Potiphar found Joseph attractive too.

Joseph found grace in his [Potiphar’s] sight … He left all that he had in Joseph's hand ... And Joseph was a goodly person, and well favoured. 39:4-6

There was more to it than that, though, according to the Gay Joseph Theory:

[W]e are returned to Joseph’s initial career as one who ‘found favor’ in the eyes of Potiphar (39:1-6). … While we may suppose that finding favor in the sight of someone is but a metaphor, it also … is suggestive of erotic attraction.⁶

Potiphar’s wife also thought Joseph was quite attractive.

His master's wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, Lie with me. Genesis 39:7

But Joseph didn’t like sex with women⁷ (or he didn’t find Potiphar’s wife attractive, or he didn’t want to commit adultery, or....), so he ran away from her.

And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled. Genesis 39:12

Girolamo Forabosco (1605-1679) Story of Joseph & Potiphar's Wife

Potiphar’s wife accused Joseph of trying to rape her, so he was thrown into prison. But the jailer took a liking to him. (GJT: He was gay, too.)⁸

But the LORD was with Joseph, and shewed him mercy, and gave him favour in the sight of the keeper of the prison. Genesis 39:21

Later, when Joseph was called to interpret Pharaoh’s dream, he shaved and dressed up a bit. (Which according to the GJT is something only gay men like to do.)⁹

Then Pharaoh sent and called Joseph, and they brought him hastily out of the dungeon: and he shaved himself, and changed his raiment, and came in unto Pharaoh. Genesis 41:14

And Joseph became Pharaoh’s favorite guy.

Pharaoh took off his ring from his hand, and put it upon Joseph's hand, and arrayed him in vestures of fine linen, and put a gold chain about his neck. Genesis 41:42

Abraham Bloemaert, Joseph and his brothers in Egypt, ca. 1600

Pharaoh gave Joseph a wife who gave him two sons. According to Jennings, he did this to hide his continuing homosexual affair with Joseph.

The attempted reheterosexualization of Joseph occurs again in relation to Pharaoh, who gives Joseph a wife.¹⁰

But later, Joseph’s father (Jacob/Israel) took his children from him, as though he was their father, not Joseph. This made Joseph (according to the GJT) the surrogate mother and wife to his own father.

Now thy two sons, Ephraim and Manasseh, which were born unto thee in the land of Egypt before I came unto thee into Egypt, are mine; as Reuben and Simeon, they shall be mine. Genesis 48:5

Here’s a Jennings quote to clarify that for you:

Jacob functions as the father in the place of Joseph. Quite dramatically, the sons born to Joseph become instead sons born to Jacob. Insofar as Joseph has any role here it is that of ‘wife’ of Jacob and ‘mother’ of the two sons.¹¹

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1. For details on the Gay Joseph Theory (GJT) see Theodore W.Jennings, Jr., Jacob's Wound, pp. 177-196.

2. “We seem to be left with the rather astonishing bit of news that Joseph is wearing (‘classy’) girls’ clothes.” Ibid., p. 181.

3. Jacob sent Joseph to check up on his brothers who were tending flocks in Shechem, which was about fifty miles north of Hebron. When Joseph arrived in Shechem, he found out that his brothers weren't there, but were another thirteen miles away in Dothan. The entire trip must have taken poor Joseph a week or so.

4. “Jacob/Israel has produced the queer Joseph, transvested him…. And the progeny of Israel have engaged in the first instance of queer bashing.” Ibid., p. 182.

5. “But what is remarkable about Joseph’s subsequent career is that he survives by being taken under the wing of a succession of more powerful males. … Thus it seems that at every phase of his career, Joseph is carried upon a wave of masculine desire.” Ibid., pp. 183-4.

6. Ibid., 183.

7. “Joseph has no apparent desire for the woman [Potiphar’s wife] who throws herself at him.” Ibid., p. 188.

8. “[H]e seems to do well on account of his benefactor, the chief jailer. In this, Joseph’s experience seems not too unlike that of men in prison even today; survival depends upon a powerful male benefactor, who may exchange protection for sexual favors.” Ibid., p. 184.

9. “When Pharaoh summons Joseph to himself to undertake the interpretation of a dream, he takes the precaution of presenting his notorious beauty to best advantage: ‘When he had shaved himself and changed his clothes, he came in before Pharaoh.’ (41:14). … Joseph’s being made once again the favorite of a more powerful male.” Ibid., p. 184.

10. Ibid., p. 189.

11. Ibid., p. 189.

Alma 37: "I got de Golden Plates..."

After Alma finished his speech to Helaman, he gave him the plates of Nephi, which were the records of their forefathers that went all of the way back to Lehi. I'm sure Helaman was pretty excited. He must have been feeling a bit like this:

Lyrics

And now, my son Helaman, I command you that ye take the records which have been entrusted with me; Alma 37.1 

And I also command you that ye keep a record of this people, according as I have done, upon the plates of Nephi, and keep all these things sacred which I have kept, even as I have kept them; for it is for a wise purpose that they are kept. Alma 37.2

Except these plates were brass. Not quite as cool, but they were pretty important, at least according to the prophecy of their forefathers. Apparently these plates would be handed down from one generation to another, and be preserved by God, until every nation knew "the mysteries contained theron". So they were pretty important.  

And these plates of brass, which contain these engravings, which have the records of the holy scriptures upon them, which have the genealogy of our forefathers, even from the beginning— 37.3 

Behold, it has been prophesied by our fathers, that they should be kept and handed down from one generation to another, and be kept and preserved by the hand of the Lord until they should go forth unto every nation, kindred, tongue, and people, that they shall know of the mysteries contained thereon. 37.4

But with great power comes great responsibility. Helaman was put in charge of keeping the record going, and of keeping the plates shiny. Alma insisted that this wasn't a silly detail. God was very particular, and sometimes he would confuse the wise with very small details. So keep them plates shiny, boy! 

And now behold, if they are kept they must retain their brightness; yea, and they will retain their brightness; yea, and also shall all the plates which do contain that which is holy writ. 37.5 

Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise. 37.6 

And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls. 37.7

After telling Helaman how to take care of the plates, Alma just can't help himself. He launches back into his speech, telling him over and over again to keep God's commandments... even though sometimes it's hard to see the reasoning behind them. 

O remember, remember, my son Helaman, how strict are the commandments of God. And he said: If ye will keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land—but if ye keep not his commandments ye shall be cut off from his presence. 37.13

But if ye keep the commandments of God, and do with these things which are sacred according to that which the Lord doth command you, (for you must appeal unto the Lord for all things whatsoever ye must do with them) behold, no power of earth or hell can take them from you, for God is powerful to the fulfilling of all his words. 37.16

Therefore I command you, my son Helaman, that ye be diligent in fulfilling all my words, and that ye be diligent in keeping the commandments of God as they are written. 37.20

Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day. 37.37

But then things get interesting, and confusing. Apparently God made a special stone that he gave to Gazelem, which shined light on darkness (metaphorically, it seems) so that the wicked secret works of these people (the Jerodites) could be seen. But, even once their abominations were brought out into the open, they still didn't repent. So God destroyed them. 

For behold, the Lord saw that his people began to work in darkness, yea, work secret murders and abominations; therefore the Lord said, if they did not repent they should be destroyed from off the face of the earth. 37.22

And the Lord said: I will prepare unto my servant Gazelem, a stone, which shall shine forth in darkness unto light, that I may discover unto my people who serve me, that I may discover unto them the works of their brethren, yea, their secret works, their works of darkness, and their wickedness and abominations. 37.23

And now, my son, these interpreters were prepared that the word of God might be fulfilled, which he spake, saying: 37.24

I will bring forth out of darkness unto light all their secret works and their abominations; and except they repent I will destroy them from off the face of the earth; and I will bring to light all their secrets and abominations, unto every nation that shall hereafter possess the land. 37.25 

And now, my son, we see that they did not repent; therefore they have been destroyed, and thus far the word of God has been fulfilled; yea, their secret abominations have been brought out of darkness and made known unto us. 37.26

But Alma wanted Helaman to keep quiet about these wicked things that the Jerodites did, because he was concerned that the people might be attracted to the lifestyle if they found out about it. Alma wanted Helaman to just teach them normal church doctrine, and then everyone would be protected from iniquity. 

You know how the police sometimes don't want the media to sensationalize violent crimes, because they are worried about people "copycatting"? Yeah, it's kind of like that. 

And now, my son, I command you that ye retain all their oaths, and their covenants, and their agreements in their secret abominations; yea, and all their signs and their wonders ye shall keep from this people, that they know them not, lest peradventure they should fall into darkness also and be destroyed. 37.27

For behold, there is a curse upon all this land, that destruction shall come upon all those workers of darkness, according to the power of God, when they are fully ripe; therefore I desire that this people might not be destroyed. 37.28

Therefore ye shall keep these secret plans of their oaths and their covenants from this people, and only their wickedness and their murders and their abominations shall ye make known unto them; and ye shall teach them to abhor such wickedness and abominations and murders; and ye shall also teach them that these people were destroyed on account of their wickedness and abominations and their murders. 37.29

For behold, they murdered all the prophets of the Lord who came among them to declare unto them concerning their iniquities; and the blood of those whom they murdered did cry unto the Lord their God for vengeance upon those who were their murderers; and thus the judgments of God did come upon these workers of darkness and secret combinations. 37.30

Don't explain to the members of the church why the Jerodites were evil, just keep repeating it, and teach the church to hate sin. Then call the Jerodites sinners -- the people will believe you, even without proof. And, of course, keep the commandments of God. 

And now, my son, remember the words which I have spoken unto you; trust not those secret plans unto this people, but teach them an everlasting hatred against sin and iniquity. 37.32 

O, remember, my son, and learn wisdom in thy youth; yea, learn in thy youth to keep the commandments of God. 37.35

Then Alma gives Helaman the magic ball of curious workmanship. It has almost as many names as Gandalf: 1.) A ball 2.) director 3.) Liahona 4.) Compass [interpreted]. God made the ball, and it only works if you really believe in it. So remember that if you ever have to use it, Helaman! 

And now, my son, I have somewhat to say concerning the thing which our fathers call a ball, or director—or our fathers called it Liahona, which is, being interpreted, a compass; and the Lord prepared it. 37.38 

And behold, there cannot any man work after the manner of so curious a workmanship. And behold, it was prepared to show unto our fathers the course which they should travel in the wilderness. 37.39 

And it did work for them according to their faith in God; therefore, if they had faith to believe that God could cause that those spindles should point the way they should go, behold, it was done; therefore they had this miracle, and also many other miracles wrought by the power of God, day by day. 37.40

And, after warning Helaman not to lose all of his new cool stuff, Alma said goodbye to Helaman and moved on to his next son, Shiblon. 

And now, my son, see that ye take care of these sacred things, yea, see that ye look to God and live. Go unto this people and declare the word, and be sober. My son, farewell. 37.47

EJ&T - Deuteronomy 26: First-fruit baskets, third-year tithes, and holy speeches

In the Every Jot and Tittle project, I am listing all of the Bible's commandments from Genesis to Revelation, in accordance with Jesus's words in Matthew 5:18-19. I have no idea how many commandments I'll find, but Jewish tradition claims there are 613. See here for a list of those that I've found so far.

When God gives you some land, put all of its first fruits in a basket and take the basket to the place that God chooses to place his name.

And it shall be, when thou art come in unto the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee for an inheritance, and possessest it, and dwellest therein; That thou shalt take of the first of all the fruit of the earth, which thou shalt bring of thy land that the Lord thy God giveth thee, and shalt put it in a basket, and shalt go unto the place which the Lord thy God shall choose to place his name there. Deuteronomy 26:1-2

Take your basket of first fruits to the priest and say to him, "I profess this day unto the Lord thy God, that I am come unto the country which the Lord sware unto our fathers for to give us."

And thou shalt go unto the priest that shall be in those days, and say unto him, I profess this day unto the Lord thy God, that I am come unto the country which the Lord sware unto our fathers for to give us. Deuteronomy 26:3

The priest shall take your basket of first fruits and set it down before the altar.

And the priest shall take the basket out of thine hand, and set it down before the altar of the Lord thy God. Deuteronomy 26:4

After the priest puts your basket on the altar, say the following words to God:

A Syrian ready to perish was my father, and he went down into Egypt, and sojourned there with a few, and became there a nation, great, mighty, and populous: And the Egyptians evil entreated us, and afflicted us, and laid upon us hard bondage: And when we cried unto the Lord God of our fathers, the Lord heard our voice, and looked on our affliction, and our labour, and our oppression: And the Lord brought us forth out of Egypt with a mighty hand, and with an outstretched arm, and with great terribleness, and with signs, and with wonders: And he hath brought us into this place, and hath given us this land, even a land that floweth with milk and honey. And now, behold, I have brought the firstfruits of the land, which thou, O Lord, hast given me. And thou shalt set it before the Lord thy God, and worship before the Lord thy God:

And thou shalt speak and say before the Lord thy God, A Syrian ready to perish was my father, and he went down into Egypt, and sojourned there with a few, and became there a nation, great, mighty, and populous: And the Egyptians evil entreated us, and afflicted us, and laid upon us hard bondage: And when we cried unto the Lord God of our fathers, the Lord heard our voice, and looked on our affliction, and our labour, and our oppression: And the Lord brought us forth out of Egypt with a mighty hand, and with an outstretched arm, and with great terribleness, and with signs, and with wonders: And he hath brought us into this place, and hath given us this land, even a land that floweth with milk and honey. And now, behold, I have brought the firstfruits of the land, which thou, O Lord, hast given me. And thou shalt set it before the Lord thy God, and worship before the Lord thy God: Deuteronomy 26:5-10

Rejoice in the Lord.

Thou shalt rejoice in every good thing which the LORD thy God hath given unto thee. Deuteronomy 26:11

Rejoice with trembling. Psalm 2:11

Rejoice, ye righteous: and shout for joy, all ye that are upright in heart. Psalm 32:11

Rejoice in the LORD, O ye righteous. Psalm 33:1

Rejoice before him. Psalm 68:4

Rejoice in the LORD, ye righteous. Psalm 97:12

Rejoice. Psalm 98:4

Be glad and rejoice. Joel 2:21

Be glad then, ye children of Zion, and rejoice in the LORD your God. Joel 2:23

Be glad and rejoice with all the heart, O daughter of Jerusalem. Zephaniah 3:14

Rejoice, O daughter of Zion. Zechariah 2:10

Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion. Zechariah 9:9

Rejoicing in hope. Romans 12:12

Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Philippians 4:4

Rejoice evermore. 1 Thessalonians 5:16

When you finish giving your tithe in the third year, give it to the Levites, strangers, fatherless children, and widows.

When thou hast made an end of tithing all the tithes of thine increase the third year, which is the year of tithing, and hast given it unto the Levite, the stranger, the fatherless, and the widow, that they may eat within thy gates, and be filled; Deuteronomy 26:12

After after you finish giving your tithe, say the following words to God:

I have brought away the hallowed things out of mine house, and also have given them unto the Levite, and unto the stranger, to the fatherless, and to the widow, according to all thy commandments which thou hast commanded me: I have not transgressed thy commandments, neither have I forgotten them. I have not eaten thereof in my mourning, neither have I taken away ought thereof for any unclean use, nor given ought thereof for the dead: but I have hearkened to the voice of the Lord my God, and have done according to all that thou hast commanded me. Look down from thy holy habitation, from heaven, and bless thy people Israel, and the land which thou hast given us, as thou swarest unto our fathers, a land that floweth with milk and honey.

Then thou shalt say before the Lord thy God, I have brought away the hallowed things out of mine house, and also have given them unto the Levite, and unto the stranger, to the fatherless, and to the widow, according to all thy commandments which thou hast commanded me: I have not transgressed thy commandments, neither have I forgotten them. I have not eaten thereof in my mourning, neither have I taken away ought thereof for any unclean use, nor given ought thereof for the dead: but I have hearkened to the voice of the Lord my God, and have done according to all that thou hast commanded me. Look down from thy holy habitation, from heaven, and bless thy people Israel, and the land which thou hast given us, as thou swarest unto our fathers, a land that floweth with milk and honey. Deuteronomy 26:13-15

Strange Fire Before the Lord

(From Chapter 4 of Strange Flesh: The Bible and Homosexuality by Steve Wells)

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During the Exodus, Moses took seventy elders up to the mountaintop to see God, along with Aaron and his two sons, Nadab and Abihu.

Then went up Moses, and Aaron, Nadab, and Abihu, and seventy of the elders of Israel: And they saw the God of Israel: and there was under his feet as it were a paved work of a sapphire stone, and as it were the body of heaven in his clearness. And upon the nobles of the children of Israel he laid not his hand: also they saw God, and did eat and drink. Exodus 24:9-11

Little else is said about Nadab and Abihu until Leviticus 10, where God burns them to death for offering “strange fire before the Lord.”

And Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, took either of them his censer, and put fire therein, and put incense thereon, and offered strange fire before the LORD, which he commanded them not. And there went out fire from the LORD, and devoured them, and they died before the LORD. Leviticus 10:1-2

The Bible provides no clue about what this “strange fire” might have been, but Howard Eilberg-Schwartz suggests in God’s Phallus (pp.189-193) that it was some type of sexual offense against God -- either failing to avert their gaze while viewing God’s nakedness, exposing their own nakedness to God, or making some type of sexual advance to God.

Sort of puts the strange in "strange fire" now, doesn't it?