OK, I admit it. I stole the title from the Brick Testament.
But the Brick Testament pretty much stole it from the Bible, so I guess it all works out OK.
Deuteronomy 13 gets my vote for the worst chapter in the Bible. But before we get into it, let's look at its context.
The last verse of chapter 12 says this.
What thing soever I command you, observe to do it: thou shalt not add thereto, nor diminish from it. Deuteronomy 12:32
The person who is supposedly talking here is God, and he says to do whatever he says, exactly as he says, no more and no less.
And what does he say to do immediately after this verse? Three things.
- Kill any prophet or dreamer of dreams. Even if they have cool signs and wonders. (Like Jesus.)
If there arise among you a prophet, or a dreamer of dreams, and giveth thee a sign or a wonder ... that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams, shall be put to death. Deuteronomy 13:1-5
- Kill your family if they have religious beliefs that differ from your own. (Like that crazy aunt of yours who's a Jehovah's Witness.)
If thy brother ... or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods ... Thou shalt not consent unto him ... neither shall thine eye pity him ... But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people. Deuteronomy 13:6-10
- Kill everyone in every city that has citizens that believe differently than you. (Like Salt Lake City.)
If thou shalt hear ... men ... saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which ye have not known ... Thou shalt surely smite the inhabitants of that city with the edge of the sword, destroying it utterly, and all that is therein, and the cattle thereof, with the edge of the sword. Deuteronomy 13:12-17
But I'd like to focus on God's second command in Deuteronomy 13: When to Stone Your Whole Family.
If thy brother ... or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods ... Thou shalt not consent unto him ... neither shall thine eye pity him. Deuteronomy 13:6-8
But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death. Deuteronomy 13:8-9
and afterwards the hand of all the people. Deuteronomy 13:9
So God commands us all to stone to death, without pity, our wife, husband, son, daughter, brother, sister, or friend, if they have religious beliefs that are different from our own. (Our own beliefs are the correct beliefs, of course.)
And God said immediately before these verses that "what thing soever I command you, observe to do it."
Is there a believer that follows God's command in Deuteronomy 13:6-10? Or who thinks it's a good idea but is too chicken to do it? Or that was a good idea back in the day but isn't so good now?
Is there a believer who thinks this command was really given by, or at least inspired by, God? Or that God had anything to do with it?
Is there a believer who is not deeply ashamed that this passage is in the Bible?
If so, I'd love to hear about it.
But it shall come to pass, if thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe to do all his commandments and his statutes which I command thee this day; that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee: Deuteronomy 28:15
Thou shalt betroth a wife ... 28:30a
... and another man shall lie with her. 28:30b
The LORD will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed ... The LORD will rejoice over you to destroy you ... 28:27, 63
The LORD shall smite thee in the knees, and in the legs, with a sore botch that cannot be healed, from the sole of thy foot unto the top of thy head. 28:35
The LORD shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart. And thou shalt grope at noonday, as the blind gropeth in darkness. 28:28-29
And thy carcase shall be meat unto all fowls of the air, and unto the beasts of the earth, and no man shall fray them away. 28:22
And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters. 28:53
All these curses shall come upon thee, and shall pursue thee, and overtake thee, till thou be destroyed; because thou hearkenedst not unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to keep his commandments and his statutes which he commanded thee. 28:45
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