15 June 2010

Jesus: I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven

Jesus was struck by lightning last night. I guess this is what he was talking about when told his disciples:

I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven. Luke 10:18

Of course, Jesus was in one of his crazy moods at the time. Here's what he said right after his vision of Satan.

Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions ... and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19

In any case, this is what he look like yesterday.

And here's what he looked like last night after Satan fell as lightning from heaven.

I think he looks a lot better in the second picture. (Thanks Satan!)

21 comments:

mikespeir said...

I'll confess I take a puerile delight in this. I'm ashamed that I do, and if I could wave a magic wand and give them their wacky statue back I would. (No, I wouldn't work or give money toward it.) God or Satan or Zeus or whomever didn't do this. It was just a freak accident of nature. I'm sure even the congregants there will see it that way. On the other hand, if it had been something unusually good that happened, well, that would've been the work of God!

Matthew Blanchette said...

You should've seen the comments on the news site you posted, Steve; a shitload of Jesus freaks were congregatin' on there... :-D

Ian G. said...

I seem to remember something about graven images in the Bible. Maybe God was expressing his displeasure. Has Pat Robertson chimed in yet?

D.O.K said...

I'm confused...

Why is "I give you the authority to trample over snakes and scorpians" a crazy thing to say?

The statue looked pretty silly. And that's a sure ridiculous way to spend $700,00 of what i can only guess was 'tithe' money... but *I* would doubt that it was the work of God. Unfortunate (or fortunate) coincedence really.

I do hope they don't spend more money on a statue of Jesus looking up to heaven - i don't what they intended for the desired effect to be - but to me it would seem they are being proud and obnoxious.

Robert Rand said...

"...the giant Hustler Hollywood sign for the adult store across the street was untouched."

Thank God.


"Burning Jesus statue 'a sign, and not a good one,' church member tells WHIO-TV"

Think this about sums it up...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBSHRD9B5tM

I am the wise fool. said...

If only there was a sign from Heaven to confirm our doctrinal beliefs...

Darren Delgado said...

mikespeir said...
I'll confess I take a puerile delight in this.

I don't think it's peurile at all. The original statue was peurile. The fact that it was demolished in such an appropriate way is awesome.

Steve Wells said...

D.O.K., you don't think it's strange that Jesus gave his disciples the power to step on snakes and scorpions with no ill effects?

Do you think the disciples couldn't be harmed by snakes or scorpions?

D.O.K said...

I *believe* Mr Christ (ha - first time i've thought to call him that)was speaking about demonic beings. You know... the serpent (Eve - apple - tree - all that stuff)being satan. And there are references in Revelation about the scorpian being a metephor for demons.

Plus for dramatic effect as "i give you the authority to trample over ladybugs and earthworms" doesn't instill as much confidence, right?

Also in the dot-dot-dots that you put in it says : "and to overcome all the power of the enemy" which, you know - explains the metephor part ergo making it less crazy :)

Steve Wells said...

OK. I see, D.O.K.. When Jesus said that his disciples could tread on snakes and scorpions, he meant they would have power over evil spirits. And when he said that nothing could hurt his disciples, he meant that evil spirits couldn't hurt them.

Which is less crazy? To believe in evil spirits or in harmless snakes and scorpions?

D.O.K said...

Definitely less crazy to believe in evil spirits. *Everyone* knows that there's no such thing as a harmless snake - oh wait - unless he was talking about a carpet snake - in that case there goes my ENTIRE theory ;)

Haha. *I* have a MASSIVE phobia of snakes AND a MASSIVE belief in God, so i guess for me the former is much less crazy...

Steve Wells said...

So do you think Jesus was talking about harmless snakes or evil spirits, D.O.K.? It would be nice to get an honest answer here.

D.O.K said...

I believe Jesus was talking about the works of the enemy. Evil spirits included.

Honest? Was i not being honest in my other posts? I thought it was pretty clear bar the jest behind my "carpet snake" comment. Gosh i'm funny sometimes :)

Steve Wells said...

D.O.K.,

You said, "I believe Jesus was talking about the works of the enemy."

Who or what do you think Jesus meant by "enemy"?

And what do you think Jesus meant when he said, "nothing shall by any means hurt you"? (I guess he didn't really mean that nothing by any means hurt his disciples. Right? Just like he didn't really mean to say that he gave them power to walk on snakes and scorpions when he told them that he gave them power to walk on snakes and scorpions.)

D.O.K said...

Enemy = (you really want me to say it? And if so, is it just so i'll play into your plan and look like one of those "Crazy Christian people"... oh okay, if it will make you happy... it's) Satan.

Also - no, He DEFINITELY meant to say Snakes and Scorpians - i guess people who read the ENTIRE bible would just know what that meant :)

And when He said "nothing will hurt you" .. I *believe* He meant that there would be no consequences to them from trampling on snakes and scorpians. I mean since its in the same sentence - MOST people would assume He was talking about the thing He has just said.. right? Right? No... okay. Well that's what i think.

He meant that nothing would harm them spiritually when coming up again evil spirits.

For the record - *I* would be pretty inclined to think that they were protected from everything anyway and NOTHING actually would harm them - they were afterall chosen for a specific task - therefore pretty awesomely and divinely protected (spritually, physically etc)... *I* would say.

Steve Wells said...

Thanks, D.O.K. I think I understand you now. Here is what I think you believe about Luke 10:19.
But tell me if I've got it wrong.

1. Jesus gave his disciples the ability to tread on poisonous snakes and scorpions without fear of any harm.

2. Jesus also gave his disciples power over Satan and evil spirits (which you believe are real beings).

3. Jesus gave his disciples protection from everything on earth that could possibly harm them. ("Nothing will by any means hurt you.")

And that is why I said that Jesus was in one of his crazy moods when he said he saw Satan fall from heaven as lightning in Luke 10:18.

D.O.K said...

mmm...

1) sure why not.

2) *authority* over snakes and scorpians/evil spirits - yes. Satan/evil spirits only have the power they are given. Believers have the power of God - God totally trumps Satan!

3) mmmm....maybe. I believe they were called for such a time and there was a plan to be fulfilled through them and becuase of that destiny they were protected to fulfill it... yes.

Really? you STILL think its crazy? Huh... seems quite sensible to me... oh well maybe i *am* one of those crazy christian people afterall...dang! :)

Steve Wells said...

D.O.K.,

"you STILL think its crazy?"

Yes. My opinion hasn't changed.

"Huh... seems quite sensible to me... oh well maybe i *am* one of those crazy christian people afterall...dang!"

And yes. You seem to be a crazy Christian after all.

D.O.K said...

Haha...

"Yes. My opinion hasn't changed."

And here i was thinking i could be the one to change you...

ho hum!

Kris said...

Copyright claim? Whatever was in the video that I can't see, how could that fit a copyright infringement? Whoever shot the documentary footage has copyright claim. Did that person shoot footage, post it, and then file a claim against themselves? Is there something I'm missing by virtue of not having seen it?

VOLTAIRE said...

I find it amazing people can turn off their brain and accept what is obvious nonsense. As children we accept what we are told but maturation means we question everything. I call it cowardice when we choose to accept that which we prefer rather than the truth.