16 June 2010

Surah 2: The Cow, Part 1 -- Allah is wise, mysterious, funny

Surah 2 is the longest surah in the Quran, so it's going to take a while to get through it. I can only take so much of this stuff at a time.

It starts, as many surahs do, with three Arabic letters.

Alif. Lam. Mim. 2:1

No one knows what they mean or why they are there. But I have a theory.

The mysterious letters (Alif. Lam. Mim.) are the Quranic equivalent of W.T.F.

Allah is wise, mysterious, funny.

But he has a serious side, too. Take the next verse where he says:

This is the Scripture whereof there is no doubt. 2:2a

The Quran is true because the Quran says it's true, just like the Bible and the Book of Mormon. There is no doubt about it.

It's useful to those that "ward off evil," believe unseen things that Muhammad reveals to them, and are absolutely certain that they will survive their own death.

You know, the successful people. The Muslims.

[The Quran is] a guidance unto those who ward off evil. Who believe in the Unseen .. And who believe in that which is revealed unto thee (Muhammad) ... and are certain of the Hereafter. ... These are the successful. 2:2b-4

As for the other people, the disbelievers, Allah has already taken care of them. He has "sealed their hearing and their hearts" and put a covering on their eyes so they won't be able to believe.

As for the Disbelievers, Whether thou warn them or thou warn them not it is all one for them; they believe not. Allah hath sealed their hearing and their hearts, and on their eyes there is a covering. 2:6-7a

So if you don't believe by now, you never will. Allah has hardened your heart and blinded you to the truth. There's nothing you, or anyone else, can or should do about it.

And what happens to the disbelievers?

Theirs will be an awful doom. 2:7

You see, to Allah unbelief is like a disease. And he increases the disease. He's a spiritual anti-doctor.

In their hearts is a disease, and Allah increaseth their disease. 2:10

So if you don't believe in the unseen things that Muhammad revealed, you're pretty much out of luck. Allah has already blinded your eyes (so you won't be able to see unseen things), hardened your heart (so you'll think it's cruel for Allah to "doom" disbelievers for not believing things that he prevented them from believing), and increased your disease of unbelief. Yours will be an awful doom. Sorry about that.

Allah has made it impossible for you to believe as the foolish believe.

And when it is said unto them: believe as the people believe, they say: shall we believe as the foolish believe? are not they indeed the foolish? But they know not. 2:13

And after you die he'll torture you forever for it.


Bogging the Quran
Surah 2:14-24 -- Produce a surah the like thereof

9 comments:

Matthew Blanchette said...

Wow... maybe you should change the name of the blog to Diseases in Unbelief? ;-)

Just kidding, Steve; I like the way you tore apart the completely random letters at the beginning of the surah, as well...

TWF said...

Gee, it Qu'ran had such a nice beginning in your previous post. It sure went to hell in hand basket rather quickly!

It's interesting to see the different perspectives between Jewish, Christian, and Muslim scriptures.

Jewish: Yup, we Jews the Chosen People, but you Gentiles can worship too if you want.

Christian: Tell everyone about the Good News so that everyone will get the chance to choose God. (Although, they have already been chosen since before man was made according to the theology of Election.)

Muslim: If you were brought up Muslim, you are in. Everyone else: sucks to be you!

I have to say (as a Gentile), between the three I think I like the Jewish approach the best.

kat said...

Verse 2---This is a Book; in it is Guidance sure, without doubt, for those who are "muttaqueen"(Arabic)
Cooment----"Mutaqueen" means--one who has Taqwa, and Taqwa means Love of God/God-awareness.

Verse 3-5 is a definition of one who has God awareness (Taqwa)
The criteria is as follows---1)Belief in Unseen (for example---God)2)who pray, 3)do charity 4) believe in revelation (both this one andprevious ones)5) believe in hereafter.

Verses 6 to 20 describe people who reject goodness/guidance and the various stages of such people---1)those who do so out of ignorance, 2)those who do so because they are hypocrites, 3)and others who do so because they want to cause "mischief on earth".
Verse 6---As to those who reject faith, it is the same to them whether you warn them or do not warn them; they will not beleive.
Comment---God has given us all free-will---we can choose to use this free-will for better or for worse. (right belief inspires right intentions that lead to right actions for the benefit of all of God's creations)

twillight said...

To I am the wise fool :

christianity: If you are not one of us, you'll be annihilated. (according to the Bible)

muslims: If you are not one of us, you'll be torchured forever. (according to the Quran)

jews: If you are not one of us, you're worse than animals. (according to the Talmud)


I think from this approach christianity is best, and jews are the worst. But all three are terrible.

Matthew Blanchette said...

Hey, well at least the Jews are nice about it, nowadays... :-S

Unknown said...

@kat-
"Comment---God has given us all free-will---we can choose to use this free-will for better or for worse. (right belief inspires right intentions that lead to right actions for the benefit of all of God's creations) "

You do realise that's not what the words say, right? It kinda implies that Allah, the just, merciful pig-lover has blinded everybody not already signed up for the lovely program of hatred and misogyny? Just sayin'.

kat said...

an interesting point TaoCat
verse 6
As to those who reject faith
It is the same to them whether you warn them or do not warn them;
they will not believe.
verse 7
God has set a seal on their hearts and on their hearing.
and on their eyes is a veil;
Great is the chastisement they incur.

Free-will---verse 6 starts with the phrase "as to those who reject faith"---meaning that a person uses his free-will to reject a "proposition"--which in this case is guidance/goodness. After this choice has been made---God may choose to seal their hearts....etc.
Faith---the Quran rejects blind faith and encourages the use of the intellect and reason for "belief"(---this is spelled out later in the story of Prophet Abraham(pbuh) and his struggle with belief)

I appreciate your reading my comment---thankyou. If you find my views offensive, you could skip them?

Author Prayatna said...

The Meaning of Alif Lam Mim:
Up until the arrival of wisdom of Mahamati Prannath, the world only knew of one Muhmammed, the great Muhammed, the Rasul of Allah himself.
Now, here is the thing - “Not only is there one great Muhammed of Allah,, there are two other great Muhammed(s) of Allah who were completely hidden by Allah’s will until the final hour!”
Unbelievable, isn’t it? But believe it!
In total, there are 3 face(s) of Muhammed of Allah. They are:
1. Rasul Muhammed
2. Isa Ruh Allah
3. Imam Muhammed Mahdi
The first face of Muhammed is Rasul who revealed the Quran. The second face of Muhammed is Isa Ruh Allah who brought the wisdom of Lahut of Allah. And the third face of Muhammed is Imam Muhammed Mahdi who brought down the revelations of the wisdom of Haqqiqat (knowledge that acquaints you with the hidden meanings of the Quran) and Marifaat (knowledge that acquaints you with the identity of Allah), of Islam.
Alif Lam Mim consists of three different letters. Each letter i.e. Alif, Lam and Mim represent three distinct Muhammad(s) of Allah. Alif Lam Mim is therefore the name of 3 Muhammad(s) of Allah. They are:
1. (The 1st letter) Alif is the name of Rasul Muhammed - the first Muhammed.
2. (The 2nd letter) Lam is the name of Isa Ruh Allah, Devchandra Mehta - the second Muhammed.
3. (The 3rd letter) Finally, Mim is the name of Imam Muhammed Mahdi, Meher Raj Thakur - the final Muhammed himself!
Keep in mind that each Muhammed of Allah had arrived in this world, with their specific task in hand. Firstly, Allah sent the Quran to Alif. So, the primary task of Alif was to bring the Quran, which he did. Secondly, Allah gave the wisdom of his identity to Lam. So, the primary task of Lam was to bring and spread the wisdom of Allah’s identity, which he did. And lastly, Allah gave his full authority to Mim so that Mim could do judgment on his behalf. Therefore, Mim did the judgment of the Judgment Day at the Judgment Day.
So, when Rasul Muhammed’s spirit and Isa Ruh Allah’s spirit merged with Meher Raj Thakur’s spirit, the spiritual forces combined to what became to be known as Alif Lam Mim.
Therefore, Alif + Lam + Mim = Mahamati Prannath

http://sanandhonline.blogspot.com/2013/05/alif-lam-mim-unlocked-part-i.html

Professor Inspector said...

I will say only this:

1. Many people like to make themselves big and look better by blasphemy and lies about religion. Also, in making fantastical additions to the religion of God.

In my opinion, these are amongst the worst of people, but God knows best.

2. Yeah, you are for sure right that God is talking about himself, telling us about himself. Wait, you think you can relate to the One, the Supreme?

He is above all else, He is the One, the Wise. He wants us to worship Him, and Him alone, the Creator, the Master. These are His names.

And you best fear Him, and ask of Him guidance!

And RESPECT HIM HAD YOU ANY SENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He is the Lord, the Irresistible.
The Absolute, the One.

Prasied be He, of the most perfect Names!