18 June 2015

Jesus self-identifies as white (according to the Bible, anyway)

According to Don Asmussen at Bad Reporter, Jesus and his dad disagree about Jesus's race. Jesus self-identifies as white; his father says he is Middle Eastern.

But what does the Bible say about it?

Well, there's not much to go on in the gospels. Jesus didn't say anything about his race, and neither did his father or anyone else. But all that changes in the book of Revelation.

Jesus completely comes out and self-identifies as white in the first chapter of Revelation. Here's what he said:

Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth ... Saying, I am Alpha and Omega, the first and the last ... And I turned to see the voice that spake with me. And being turned, I saw ... one like unto the Son of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle. His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire; And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters. And he had in his right hand seven stars: and out of his mouth went a sharp twoedged sword: and his countenance was as the sun shineth in his strength. And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first and the last: I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death. Revelation 1:5-17

So that pretty much settles it. Jesus is white -- as white as snow. (He also has flame-red eyes, feet of brass, seven stars in his hand, the keys to hell and death, and a sword sticking out of his mouth.)

Here's his self-portrait.


(From The Brick Testament)

3 comments:

Stephen said...

Pure (and timely) comedy gold!

And thanks for the link to "Bad Reporter".

Now I'm off to bleach my face to become more christ-like. ;-)
Steve Weeks

Unknown said...

Noah in the Ethiopian book of Enoch:

And his body was white as snow and red as the blooming of a rose, and the hair of his head †and his long locks were white as wool, and his eyes beautiful†. And when he opened his ...

Unknown said...

In the prologue of the first book of Adam and Eve:
2 And to the north of the garden there is a sea of water, clear and pure to the taste, unlike anything else; so that, through the clearness thereof, one may look into the depths of the earth. 3 And when a man washes himself in it, he becomes clean of the cleanness thereof, and white of its whiteness -- even if he were dark.