Bill Maher on religion

I thought I'd seen everything Bill Maher had done on religion, but it turns out I hadn't.

You probably haven't either. Take a look.

Bill Maher: Christian Rock Blows Hard (with Bible verses)

New rule: If you're a Christian heavy metal singer, like this clod is, and you're accused of hiring a guy to kill your wife, as this clod was, you have to admit you're really just a regular heavy metal singer.

C'mon dude, read your bible. God says you're not allowed to kill your wife.

Unless she's gay

Their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature ... They which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them. Romans 1:24-32

If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. Leviticus 20:13
(In the spirit of the law this would probably apply to lesbians too.)

cheating

And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. Leviticus 20:10

a witch

Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. Exodus 22:18
(Exodus 22:19 is listed, but that refers to women that have sex with animals.)

a fortune teller

A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood shall be upon them. Leviticus 20:27 (Not on Bill Maher's list, but would probably apply to fortune tellers.)

not a virgin

And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire. Leviticus 21:9

If ... the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die. Deuteronomy 22:20-21

worshiping another god

Whosoever would not seek the LORD God of Israel should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman. 2 Chronicles 15:13

If thou shalt hear say in one of thy cities ... men [or women] ... saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which ye have not known ... Thou shalt surely smite the inhabitants of that city with the edge of the sword, destroying it utterly, and all that is therein, and the cattle thereof, with the edge of the sword. Deuteronomy 13:12-15

If there be found among you, within any of thy gates which the LORD thy God giveth thee, man or woman, that ... hath gone and served other gods, and worshipped them ... Then shalt thou bring forth that man or that woman, which have committed that wicked thing, unto thy gates, even that man or that woman, and shalt stone them with stones, till they die. Deuteronomy 17:2-5

worshiping no god

Whosoever would not seek the LORD God of Israel should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman. 2 Chronicles 15:13

cursing her dad

Whoso curseth his [or her] father or his mother, his [or her] lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness. Proverbs 20:20 (Not highlighted in the SAB. I need to add this one. Thanks Bill!)

For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him. Leviticus 20:9

hitting her dad

He [or she] that smiteth his [or her] father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death. Exodus 21:15

ignoring a priest

The man [or woman, I suppose] that ... will not hearken unto the priest ... or unto the judge, even that man shall die. Deuteronomy 17:12

approaching a tabernacle

Those to encamp before the tabernacle ... were Moses and Aaron and his sons ... any one else who came near was to be put to death. Numbers 3:38 (Revised Standard Version) [Not on the Maher's list, but probably applies.]

or working on Sunday.

My sabbaths ye shall keep: for it is a sign between me and you throughout your generations ... Ye shall keep the sabbath ... every one that defileth it shall surely be put to death. Exodus 31:13-14

Otherwise hands off.

Oh, and Ecclesias [Ecclesiastes] says, "the wind continually blows."

The wind ... whirleth about continually. Ecclesisates 1:6

But not as hard as Christian rock.

Bill Maher: I am not an Islamophobe, I am a truth lover.

 Here's an excerpt.

Levin: It's not like it's people who are Muslim who do wacky things have a monopoly on it. We have hypocrites across faiths...

Maher: You know what, that is liberal bullshit right there. 

Levin: There are no religious hypocrites? You made a career on that.

Maher: They're not as dangerous. There's only one only one faith, for example, that kills you, or wants to kill you, if you draw a bad cartoon of the prophet. There's only on faith that kills you, or wants to kill you, if you renounce the faith. An ex-Muslim is a very dangerous thing. Talk to Salman Rushdie after the show about Christian versus Islam. 

Levin: I have a girl for you, Pam Geller, you can maybe meet.

Maher: I don't know what that means.

Levin: Well, she's an Islamophobe.

Maher: I'm not an Islamophobe, That's wrong. I am a truth lover. All religions are not alike.

Bill Maher is right: It's time to drop the liberal bullshit.

All religions are not the same. Let's stop pretending like they are.

Bill Maher on Mormonism: I'm very sorry if I called your horseshit bullshit.

Taking the Quran out of context (to justify belief in it)

My last post was about Keith Ellison's Real Time interview with Bill Maher. In that post, I focused on what Bill Maher said about the Quran (quoting from Sam Harris' book, The End of Faith):

On almost every page, the Quran instructs observant Muslims to despise nonbelievers.

I defended Harris' statement by quoting a couple dozen verses and referring to hundreds of others. And I challenged everyone to do the Harris test to see if it's true that "on almost every page, the Quran instructs observant Muslims to despise nonbelievers."

But Keith Ellison's defense of the Quran was even more interesting.

When Maher said that Islamic terrorists were getting their inspiration from the Quran, Rep. Ellison said:

They're not getting it from the Quran.

And used the usual "out of context" defense.

Taking them [verses from the Quran] out of context is a very easy thing to do.

Then he showed the truth of his statement by taking the Quran out of context.

Why don't you read the part where it says that anyone who takes a life, it's as if he'd killed the whole world, and anyone who saves a life it's aas if he'd saved the whole world?

And that is a nice verse, too. Here it is:

We decreed for the Children of Israel that whosoever killeth a human being for other than manslaughter or corruption in the earth, it shall be as if he had killed all mankind, and whoso saveth the life of one, it shall be as if he had saved the life of all mankind. Quran 5:32

But then context goes and ruins everything by having the next verse say this:

The only reward of those who make war upon Allah and His messenger and strive after corruption in the land will be that they will be killed or crucified, or have their hands and feet on alternate sides cut off, or will be expelled out of the land. Such will be their degradation in the world, and in the Hereafter theirs will be an awful doom; Quran 5:33

So what do these verses say in context? That Allah told the Jews not to kill each other. But now Allah says to that whoever fights against Islam or encourages corruption should be either killed, crucified, have their hands and feet on alternate sides cut off, or be banished from the land.

Doesn't sound quite as nice in context, now does it?

Then Congressman Ellison has another question for Bill Maher.

What about the one where it says let there be no compulsion in religion?

And there is such a verse in the Quran. Here it is.

There is no compulsion in religion. The right direction is henceforth distinct from error. And he who rejecteth false deities and believeth in Allah hath grasped a firm handhold which will never break. Allah is Hearer, Knower. Quran 2:256

But, once again, context strikes. Here's the next verse.

Allah is the Protecting Guardian of those who believe. He bringeth them out of darkness into light. As for those who disbelieve, their patrons are false deities. They bring them out of light into darkness. Such are rightful owners of the Fire. They will abide therein. Quran 2:257

There's no compulsion in religion. It's just that if you believe in the wrong religion, Allah will torture you after you die by burning you forever in hell.

And finally, Congressman Ellison says this:

Like any ideologue, they [the terrorists] will take things out of context to do what they want to do.

But it's not the terrorists who take the Quran out of context. There's plenty of nasty in-context material in the Quran to inspire terrorists.

It's the good, kind people (like Keith Ellison) that have to take the Quran out of context so that they can believe in it. Because the Quran, like all the other hateful holy books, can only be believed if it is taken out of context.

Here's the interview again.

On almost every page . . .

In Friday's "Real Time" interview with Rep. Keith Ellison (the first Muslim elected to the United States Congress), Bill Maher quoted from Sam Harris' book, The End of Faith, saying

On almost every page, the Quran instructs observant Muslims to despise nonbelievers.

To which Rep. Ellison replied

That's absurd, ridiculous, and untrue.

But is it? Let's open a Quran and see.

The Quran isn't a very big book. Its 114 chapters (or surahs) take up only 400 or so pages. And yet there are 534 intolerant passages, including over 200 verses that include these words (or a variant thereof): "And for the disbelievers, Allah has prepared a painful doom."

Here's what Allah says about disbelievers in the Quran.

Allah loveth not the disbelievers. Quran 3:32

Allah (Himself) is an enemy to the disbelievers. Quran 2:98

Those who disbelieve Our revelations, We shall expose them to the Fire. As often as their skins are consumed We shall exchange them for fresh skins that they may taste the torment. Quran 4:56

But as for those who disbelieve, garments of fire will be cut out for them; boiling fluid will be poured down on their heads, Whereby that which is in their bellies, and their skins too, will be melted; And for them are hooked rods of iron. Whenever, in their anguish, they would go forth from thence they are driven back therein and (it is said unto them): Taste the doom of burning. Quran 22:19-22

So clearly, Allah despises disbelievers.

But what about Muslims? How does the Quran instruct Muslims to view disbelievers?

As for the Disbelievers, Whether thou warn them or thou warn them not it is all one for them; they believe not. Allah hath sealed their hearing and their hearts, and on their eyes there is a covering. Theirs will be an awful doom. Quran 2:6-7

Those who disbelieve, and die while they are disbelievers; on them is the curse of Allah and of angels and of men combined. Quran 2:161

Slay them wherever ye find them, and drive them out of the places whence they drove you out, for persecution is worse than slaughter. And fight not with them at the Inviolable Place of Worship until they first attack you there, but if they attack you (there) then slay them. Such is the reward of disbelievers. Quran 2:191

Let not the believers take disbelievers for their friends in preference to believers. Quran 3:28

Those who believe do battle for the cause of Allah; and those who disbelieve do battle for the cause of idols. So fight the minions of the devil. Quran 4:76

They long that ye should disbelieve even as they disbelieve, that ye may be upon a level (with them). So choose not friends from them till they forsake their homes in the way of Allah; if they turn back (to enmity) then take them and kill them wherever ye find them, and choose no friend nor helper from among them. Quran 4:89

In truth the disbelievers are an open enemy to you. Quran 4:101

O ye who believe! Choose not disbelievers for (your) friends in place of believers. Would ye give Allah a clear warrant against you? Quran 4:144

The only reward of those who make war upon Allah and His messenger and strive after corruption in the land will be that they will be killed or crucified, or have their hands and feet on alternate sides cut off, or will be expelled out of the land. Such will be their degradation in the world, and in the Hereafter theirs will be an awful doom. Quran 5:33

O ye who believe! Take not the Jews and the Christians for friends. They are friends one to another. He among you who taketh them for friends is (one) of them. Quran 5:51

O ye who believe! Choose not your fathers nor your brethren for friends if they take pleasure in disbelief rather than faith. Whoso of you taketh them for friends, such are wrong-doers. Quran 9:23

Strive against the disbelievers and the hypocrites! Be harsh with them. Their ultimate abode is hell, a hapless journey's end. Quran 9:73

O ye who believe! Fight those of the disbelievers who are near to you, and let them find harshness in you, and know that Allah is with those who keep their duty (unto Him). Quran 9:123

Never be a helper to the disbelievers. Quran 28:86

Muhammad is the messenger of Allah. And those with him are hard against the disbelievers and merciful among themselves. Quran 48:29

Thou wilt not find folk who believe in Allah and the Last Day loving those who oppose Allah and His messenger, even though they be their fathers or their sons or their brethren Quran 58:22

O ye who believe! Choose not My enemy and your enemy for allies. Do ye give them friendship when they disbelieve. Quran 60:1

O ye who believe! Be not friendly with a folk with whom Allah is wroth, (a folk) who have despaired of the Hereafter as the disbelievers despair of those who are in the graves.Quran 60:13

Strive against the disbelievers and the hypocrites, and be stern with them. Hell will be their home, a hapless journey's end. Quran 66:9

So Sam Harris had it about right. On almost every page, the Quran instructs observant Muslims to despise nonbelievers. It's not absurd, ridiculous, or untrue. (Open a Quran and see for yourself.)

Here's the Real Time interview.

New Rule: A Religious Test with Bill Maher

Okay, this "New Rule" is a bit old (It was on Bill Maher's 21 Sept 2007 Real Time show), but it's a good rule to follow.

New rule: just because the constitution doesn't have a religious test for office, doesn't mean I can't.
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If you believe you're in a long-term relationship with an all-powerful space daddy who will, after you die, party with your ghost forever, you can't have my vote....
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Maybe a president who didn't believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.