Is Saul among the prophets?

I know, I'm getting bogged down in 1 Samuel, completely distracted from God's killings. But there's so much crazy shit in this book that I just can't pass it up. Sorry about that.

So back to the story.

After David bought Saul's daughter (Michal) with 200 Philistine foreskins, Saul told his son Jonathan and all his servants to kill David. But Jonathan "delighted much in David" and talked his dad out of it. So Saul swears he won't kill David.

Then David went out and slaughters some more Philistines.

David went out, and fought with the Philistines, and slew them with a great slaughter. 1 Samuel 19:8

Meanwhile, God sent another evil spirit to torment Saul as he sat in his house with his spear, while David played with his hand.

And the evil spirit from the LORD was upon Saul, as he sat in his house with his javelin in his hand: and David played with his hand. 1 Samuel 19:9

You can probably guess what happened next. Saul threw his spear at David, trying to pin him to the wall. (When God's evil spirit comes upon Saul he either throws a spear at David or prophesies.)

And Saul sought to smite David even to the wall with the javelin: but he slipped away out of Saul's presence, and he smote the javelin into the wall. 1 Samuel 19:10

But Saul missed again and David fled to his house. Saul told his servants to go to David's house and kill him, but Michal lowered him out the window in a basket, while putting an idol with a goat skin pillow in bed to fool Saul's servants.

After his escape, David went to Ramah to hang out with Samuel. But Saul found out where he went so he sent messengers to capture him.

When the messengers arrived, they found David, Samuel, and everyone else prophesying. Then the Spirit of God came upon the messengers, too, and they began to prophesy.

And Saul sent messengers to take David: and when they saw the company of the prophets prophesying, and Samuel standing as appointed over them, the Spirit of God was upon the messengers of Saul, and they also prophesied. 1 Samuel 19:20

When Saul heard about this, he sent more messengers, and when they arrived, they all began prophesying, too!

And when it was told Saul, he sent other messengers, and they prophesied likewise. 1 Samuel 19:21a

So Saul sent more messengers. Guess what happened to them.

And Saul sent messengers again the third time, and they prophesied also. 1 Samuel 19:21b

Finally Saul gets tired of this shit and goes himself. Here's how that turned out.

And he went thither to Naioth in Ramah: and the Spirit of God was upon him also, and he went on, and prophesied. 1 Samuel 19:23

Yeah, that's right. The Spirit of God came upon Saul and he prophesied too.

In fact, he not only prophesied, but he took off his clothes and laid around naked all night long in front of God and everybody.

And he stripped off his clothes also, and prophesied before Samuel in like manner, and lay down naked all that day and all that night. 1 Samuel 19:24a

And that is why you often hear people say, "Is Saul among the prophets?"

Wherefore they say, Is Saul also among the prophets? 1 Samuel 19:24b

So I just had to tell you this story. God wanted you to know. That's why he put it in the Bible.

But I still can't figure it out. Is Saul among the prophets?

A city is massacred and 1000 burn to death because of God's evil spirit

After Gideon died, it was time for his sons to take over. And he had lots of them.

Gideon had threescore and ten sons of his body begotten: for he had many wives. And his concubine that was in Shechem, she also bare him a son, whose name he called Abimelech. Judges 8:30-31

Which was a problem since only one son could succeed him. Luckily, Abimelech came up with a creative solution. He killed all of his 70 brothers on one stone.

Abimelech ... went unto his father's house at Ophrah, and slew his brethren the sons of Jerubbaal, being threescore and ten persons, upon one stone. Judges 9:4-5

Well, all except one, anyway. Jotham, Gideon's youngest son, got away.
So the two remaining sons, Abimelech and Jotham, schemed against each other for control of Israel, with Abimelech winning out, becoming Israel's first king.
Then God decided to get involved by sending an evil spirit.

God sent an evil spirit between Abimelech and the men of Shechem; and the men of Shechem dealt treacherously with Abimelech: That the cruelty done to the threescore and ten sons of Jerubbaal might come, and their blood be laid upon Abimelech their brother, which slew them; and upon the men of Shechem, which aided him in the killing of his brethren. Judges 9:23-24

(Now you might think it strange that an evil spirit would be sent by God. But if so, you haven't been reading your Bible enough. The Bible is clear about evil spirits: they are either sent directly by God or their origin is unknown. The Bible never attributes evil spirits to Satan.)
Things get complicated after God's evil spirit arrives. But the short story is that Shechem revolts against Abimelech and Abimelech massacres everyone in Shechem, except for 1000 that escape to a tower.(See the Brick Testament story for the details.)



When Abimelech found about about the people in the tower, he set it on fire. While the tower was burning, a woman dropped a millstone and it landed on Abimelech's head, crushing his skull. Abimelech saw that it was a woman, so he told a soldier to kill him since he didn't want it said that he was killed by a woman. (In the Bible, there's nothing worse that being killed by a woman.)
So with the help of God's evil spirit, everything worked out according to God's plan.

Thus God rendered the wickedness of Abimelech, which he did unto his father, in slaying his seventy brethren: And all the evil of the men of Shechem did God render upon their heads: and upon them came the curse of Jotham. Judges 9:56-57

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Note: I missed this one up to now, so I'm going to have to revise the list. I estimated a total of 2001: 1000 in the burning tower, 1000 in the Shechem massacre, and Abimelech (who wasn't killed by a woman). I know the 2001 value is silly and arbitrary in its precision, but any attempt to put a number on God's killings will run into the same problem.

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God's next killing: The Ammonite massacre

Where do evil spirits come from?

Seems like silly question, doesn't it? At least it would to most Bible believers. Evil spirits come from Satan. But that's not what the Bible says.

The phrase "evil spirit(s)" occurs 14 times (in 13 verses) in the Bible, in 8 of which the evil spirits were sent directly and explicitly by God.

The first evil spirit was sent by God to kill people in war.

Then God sent an evil spirit between Abimelech and the men of Shechem; and the men of Shechem dealt treacherously with Abimelech. Judges 9:23

God sent the next evil spirit to cause Saul to have a mental breakdown. (But luckily, David plays his harp and makes Saul's "evil spirit from the Lord" go away.)

But the Spirit of the LORD departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the LORD troubled him. And Saul's servants said unto him, Behold now, an evil spirit from God troubleth thee. Let our lord now command thy servants, which are before thee, to seek out a man, who is a cunning player on an harp: and it shall come to pass, when the evil spirit from God is upon thee, that he shall play with his hand, and thou shalt be well. 1 Samuel 16:14-16

And it came to pass, when the evil spirit from God was upon Saul, that David took an harp, and played with his hand: so Saul was refreshed, and was well, and the evil spirit departed from him. 1 Samuel 16:23

Then God sent an evil spirit to cause Saul to prophesy and sit with a javelin in his hand.

And it came to pass on the morrow, that the evil spirit from God came upon Saul, and he prophesied in the midst of the house: and David played with his hand, as at other times: and there was a javelin in Saul's hand. 1 Samuel 18:10

And the evil spirit from the LORD was upon Saul, as he sat in his house with his javelin in his hand: and David played with his hand. 1 Samuel 19:9

The other 6 "evil spirit" occurrences are in the New Testament. The Bible doesn't say where the evil spirits came from, but they are usually associated with some type of illness (Which come from God, right?).

And in that same hour he cured many of their infirmities and plagues, and of evil spirits; and unto many that were blind he gave sight. Luke 7:21

And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils, Luke 8:2

So that from his body were brought unto the sick handkerchiefs or aprons, and the diseases departed from them, and the evil spirits went out of them. Then certain of the vagabond Jews, exorcists, took upon them to call over them which had evil spirits the name of the Lord Jesus, saying, We adjure you by Jesus whom Paul preacheth. ... And the evil spirit answered and said, Jesus I know, and Paul I know; but who are ye? And the man in whom the evil spirit was leaped on them, and overcame them, and prevailed against them, so that they fled out of that house naked and wounded. Acts 19:12-16

So the Bible is fairly clear on evil spirits: they are either sent directly by God or their origin is unknown. The Bible never attributes evil spirits to Satan.

(Thanks to Sternwallow at the Raving Atheists Forum for this one.)