Friendly Fire: God forced "a great multitude" to kill each other

"A great multitude" of Ammonites, Moabites, and Edomites gathered to attack the kingdom of Judah.

There cometh a great multitude against thee from beyond the sea ... the children of Ammon and Moab and mount Seir [the Edomites]. 2 Chronicles 20.2

The king of Judah, Jehoshaphat, prays and prays and prays some more, asking God for help.

And Jehoshaphat stood in the congregation of Judah ... And said, O LORD God of our fathers, art not thou God in heaven? and rulest not thou over all the kingdoms of the heathen? and in thine hand is there not power and might, so that none is able to withstand thee?
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And now, behold, the children of Ammon and Moab and mount Seir ... invade.
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O our God, wilt thou not judge them? for we have no might against this great company that cometh against us; neither know we what to do: but our eyes are upon thee. 20.5-12

Everyone in Judah heard Jehoshaphat's boring prayer.

All Judah stood before the LORD, with their little ones, their wives, and their children. 20.13

And then the spirit of the Lord came upon Jahaziel (the son of Zechariah, the son of Benaiah, the son of Jeiel, the son of Mattaniah, a Levite of the sons of Asaph) who told the people of Judah not to worry. They didn’t even need to fight; God would fight for them.

Then upon Jahaziel the son of Zechariah, the son of Benaiah, the son of Jeiel, the son of Mattaniah, a Levite of the sons of Asaph, came the Spirit of the LORD in the midst of the congregation; And he said, Hearken ye, all Judah, and ye inhabitants of Jerusalem, and thou king Jehoshaphat, Thus saith the LORD unto you, Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God's. ... Ye shall not need to fight in this battle. 20.14-17

Then Jehoshaphat and the entire population of Judah fell on their faces.

Jehoshaphat bowed his head with his face to the ground: and all Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem fell before the LORD, worshipping the LORD. 20.18

Jehoshaphat appointed singers to praise the beauty and holiness and say to the army, "Praise the Lord."

Jehoshaphat ... appointed singers unto the LORD, and that should praise the beauty of holiness, as they went out before the army, and to say, Praise the LORD. 20.20-21

And God took care of everything else.

He ambushed the opposing army, forcing the Ammonites and the Moabites to kill the Edomites, and vice versa until "every one helped to destroy another."

When they began to sing and to praise, the LORD set ambushments against the children of Ammon, Moab, and mount Seir, which were come against Judah; and they were smitten. For the children of Ammon and Moab stood up against the inhabitants of mount Seir, utterly to slay and destroy them: and when they had made an end of the inhabitants of Seir, every one helped to destroy another. 20.22-23

And so when everyone in Judah went up to the watch tower, they saw nothing but dead bodies.

When Judah came toward the watch tower in the wilderness, they looked unto the multitude, and, behold, they were dead bodies fallen to the earth, and none escaped. 20.24

Then the people of Judah came down from the watch tower and stripped all the booty from the dead bodies. It took them three days, but they got lots of cool stuff, including precious jewels. But there was just too much for them to carry away.

When Jehoshaphat and his people came to take away the spoil of them, they found among them in abundance both riches with the dead bodies, and precious jewels, which they stripped off for themselves, more than they could carry away: and they were three days in gathering of the spoil, it was so much. 20.25

(Since there was "a great multitude" of Ammonites, Moabites, and Edomites, I estimated 30,000, 10,000 from each tribe.)

God's next killing: God made Johoram's bowels fall out

God forced the Philistines to kill each other

After helping Jonathan with his first slaughter (which wasn't really his first, but Oh well), God took over the killing himself. He didn't have much choice if he wanted to get the killing done, because there were only two swords in all Israel at the time, Jonathan's and Saul's. And it's hard to kill Philistines with only sticks and stones.

So it came to pass in the day of battle, that there was neither sword nor spear found in the hand of any of the people that were with Saul and Jonathan: but with Saul and with Jonathan his son was there found. 1 Samuel 13:22

But God had a plan. He'd force the Philistines to kill each other (and throw in an earthquake for dramatic effect).

And there was trembling ... and the earth quaked: so it was a very great trembling. ...
The multitude melted away, and they went on beating down one another... Every man's sword was against his fellow. 1 Samuel 14:15-20

After the Philistines killed each other, the Israelites must have gathered up their swords and spears, because by the end of the same chapter Saul is fighting everybody at once, "vexing" them all.

So Saul ... fought against all his enemies on every side, against Moab, and against the children of Ammon, and against Edom, and against the kings of Zobah, and against the Philistines: and whithersoever he turned himself, he vexed them. And he gathered an host, and smote the Amalekites, and delivered Israel out of the hands of them that spoiled them. 1 Samuel 14:47-48

(Since the Bible doesn't say that God was involved in these battles, I didn't include the victims in God's total.)

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How many Philistine soldiers did God kill by forcing them to kill each other? The Bible doesn't say, so I just guessed the usual 1000.

God's next killing: The Amalekite Genocide

Who is on the Lord's side? (Forcing friends and family to kill each other)

In his previous killings, God killed indiscriminately. He drowned everyone and everything in the flood, smashed people with burning stones at Sodom and Gomorrah, and killed every Egyptian firstborn child and animal just for the heck of it. So I guess we should be used to this sort of thing by now.

But in this killing, God forces 3000 friends and family members to kill each other. That seems kind of nasty even for a very nasty god.

Here are the gory details.

Moses was up on Mount Sinai getting the ten commandments from God. Since he'd been gone so long (he'd been up there for 40 days) the people began to wonder if he'd ever come back, so they asked Aaron to make some other gods for them. Aaron thought that was a pretty good idea, so he:

... said to them, Break off the golden earrings, which are in the ears of your wives, of your sons, and of your daughters, and bring them unto me ... And ... he had made it a molten calf. Exodus 32:2-4

You might think that a bunch of runaway slaves wouldn't have much gold. But God told them to steal whatever jewelry they could find from the Egyptians. (This was before God gave them the ten commandments, so it was OK to do back then.)

The children of Israel did according to the word of Moses; and they borrowed of the Egyptians jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and raiment. And the LORD gave the people favour in the sight of the Egyptians, so that they lent unto them such things as they required. And they spoiled the Egyptians. Exodus 12:35-36

I guess God wanted them to have enough gold to make a golden calf. It was all a part of his plan.

So the people gave Aaron their stolen gold and Aaron made a golden calf.

Now making a golden calf out of a bunch of ear rings and a campfire might seem hard to you. But Aaron just threw them all onto a fire and out came a golden calf. Really.

And I [Aaron] said unto them, Whosoever hath any gold, let them break it off. So they gave it me: then I cast it into the fire, and there came out this calf. Exodus 32:24

It was a miracle. God made the golden calf when Aaron threw the jewelry on the fire. It was all part of his plan.

In any case, when Moses came down from the mountain, he saw the people dancing naked ("for Aaron had made them naked") around the golden calf. So he smashed the stone tablets, burned the golden calf, ground it into a powder, sprinkled it on water, and then forced everyone (all 3 million of them) to drink it.

But Moses was just getting started. Here's what he said next:

Who is on the Lord's side? .... Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out from gate to gate throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbour ... and there fell of the people that day about three thousand men. Exodus 32:26-28

So those on God's side went out and killed 3000 of their friends, neighbors, and family members. (A question for believers: Are you on the Lord's side? Are you willing to kill your family, friends, and neighbors for God?)

But God still wasn't satisfied. When he first found out about the golden calf and the naked dancing he wanted to kill everyone, but Moses talked him out of it. Imagine that. Moses is a nicer guy than God. (Read Numbers 31:14-18- to see the implication here.)

So:

The LORD plagued the people, because they made the calf, which Aaron made. Exodus 32:25

And I have another killing to add to God's list.

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This killing is highlighted in the Poverty and Justice Bible.

The Lord God of Israel commands you to strap on your swords and go through the camp killing your relatives, friends, and neighbours.

I guess it shows God's sense of justice.

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God's next killing: The Lord plagued the people because of the calf that Aaron made