You've probably heard the news about Mickey Mouse: He's a soldier of Satan that should be killed on sight. Or so said Sheikh Muhammad Munajid, and he should know. I'll let him tell you about it.
So I couldn't help myself. I had to look in the Quran to see what it had to say about mice.
And do you know what I found? Nothing. Nada. The Quran doesn't mention mice. (Although the Hadith does. See here and here.)
But the Bible does. And it agrees with the Sheikh about them.
First of all mice are unclean to God (so they should be to you, too).
These also shall be unclean unto you among the creeping things that creep upon the earth; the weasel, and the mouse.... Leviticus 11:29
It's true, of course, that many animals are unclean to God. But God is especially disgusted by mice. Here's what he said about them in Isaiah.
For, behold, the LORD will come with fire, and with his chariots like a whirlwind, to render his anger with fury, and his rebuke with flames of fire. For by fire and by his sword will the LORD plead with all flesh: and the slain of the LORD shall be many. They that sanctify themselves, and purify themselves in the gardens behind one tree in the midst, eating swine's flesh, and the abomination, and the mouse, shall be consumed together, saith the LORD. Isaiah 66:15-17
So mice and pigs are just about the most disgusting things God can think of. And he's got quite an imagination.
You remember the story about the five golden hemorrhoids, don't you? Well the same story includes five golden mice. No kidding.
What shall be the trespass offering which we shall return to him? They answered, Five golden emerods, and five golden mice ... Wherefore ye shall make images of your emerods, and images of your mice.
...
And they laid the ark of the LORD upon the cart, and the coffer with the mice of gold and the images of their emerods.
...
And these are the golden emerods which the Philistines returned for a trespass offering unto the LORD ... And the golden mice.... 1 Samuel 6:4-18
God told the Philistines to make golden images of his least favorite things: hemorrhoids and mice. You see it was kind of a divine joke. It was really funny to God. (Laugh or he'll give you a disease that will make your bowels fall out.)
Clearly then, God hates mice just as much as Allah, Muhammad, and the Sheikh do.
So you Bible believers should stop laughing at the Muslims and proudly join the Fatwah against Mickey. (Or God may have to give you hemorrhoids in your secret parts.)
