07 May 2008

More on the Quran's surah writing contest

In my last post, I forgot to mention the other places in the Quran that challenge skeptics to a surah writing contest. So here they are.
And if ye are in doubt concerning that which We reveal unto Our slave (Muhammad), then produce a surah of the like thereof ... Quran 2:23

And this Qur'an is not such as could ever be invented ... Or say they: He hath invented it ? Say: Then bring a surah like unto it.... Quran 10:37-38

Or they say: He hath invented it. Say: Then bring ten surahs, the like thereof.... Quran 11:13

As you read these verses, you'll notice that the challenge isn't clearly stated. Will one surah that is better than the Quran's suffice (as in the 2:23 and 10:37-38 challenge), or must we come up with 10 superior surahs (as in the 11:13 version)?

Either way it should be easy to show that the Quran is not the revelation of Allah -- or any other god. There are plenty of atrocious surahs in the Quran.

Here is surah 111 (Palm Fibre) for example.

The power of Abu Lahab will perish, and he will perish.
His wealth and gains will not exempt him.
He will be plunged in flaming Fire,
And his wife, the wood-carrier,
Will have upon her neck a halter of palm-fibre.

And here is a surah that was written in response (I'm not sure who the author was, but I saw it first in Waterrock's commentary on Surah 10:31-52.)

In the name of Marvin, most-merciful, all-compassionate:
Damn both hands of my neighbor Sam; damn him!
His money and children will not save him!
He will be burnt in a blazing flame --
Sam and his dame, who is also to blame.
As she was carrying wood to her home,
She put some thorns in the path where I roam.
So she shall suffer a torment most dire,
Dangling in hell from a noose of palm-fibre.

And with that you should all be inspired.

There have already been some excellent surahs written by watercat and BaldySlaphead. Let's keep it going.

(But those who participate should be aware of Allah's rules. Quran 2:24 says that you will burn forever in "the Fire prepared for disbelievers, whose fuel is of men and stones" if your surah is inferior to those in the Quran.)


Amtiskaw said...

I feel that you only meet the Qur'anic challenge if you write a sura that might actually fit into the Qur'an. Here's my first attempt...

Surat al-evidentia

In the name of God, the merciful, the compassionate -

Alif Ta Ra

They ask you about evidence. Tell them: 'He is God, the Lord of all the worlds, the merciful, the compassionate. He is far above the tests you set for Him. He is the master of the Day of Judgement, when all the peoples and all the tribes and all the nations will prostrate themselves before Him.'

By the sun and the moon; by the male and the female! Are these oaths strong enough? On that day there will be agonising torment for those who ask for evidence. The idolators, the unbelievers, and the People of the Book who do not truly believe, or who try to say, 'We accept some, but reject others.' No! A thousand times No! All these shall descend into the Pit, where agonising torment awaits them. On that day, the believers will say to them, 'Truly, if only you had listened to your hearts and not your heads, that would have been better for you.' And the tormented will reply, 'Alas! We are betrayed by our own thoughts! If only we had not been born!' But it is too late for them: they are where they belong.

Surely, the unbelievers will not believe, even if they had the evidence they ask you for. We have made their hearts hard, and closed up their ears. They follow what they saw their forefathers following, and shall meet them again in the Fire, while the believers are sitting on comfortable seats eating and drinking whatever they desire, in the company of beautiful maidens. Truly, the partners they associate with God have no power to save; but only true religion has the power to save them from our wrath and the terrible torment we have prepared. But if the evildoers repent, then God is most forgiving and compassionate.

This Qur'an is the true evidence. He who reads and understands shall have the reward he deserves, and he who does not understand shall have the reward he deserves. You, prophet, are not sent to compel them; all will come to know the truth.

Unknown said...

I must say most of the poetry in the Koran is pretty piss-poor, to be honest. And it doesn't help that most of it is communicating trite and/or ridiculous theology. A glorious mediocre merging of form and content, if you will.

Personally, even something as simple as Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven" beats anything in the Islam's big book of bullshit. At least for me.

BaldySlaphead said...

Thanks for the plaudit!

Question: do I have to suffer the Islamist punishment for apostacy before or after I'm sent to hell for not believing in Jeebus..?

Anonymous said...

it says further along in those verses you quote, and call your witnesses if you are truthful. or something to that effect. no Muslims would accept your fake surah unless it affects ppl the same way as the Qu'ran and such. this is a dead end in proving Islam wrong. try again later.

srizals said...

You have to mention and offer solutions to all mankind illness and happiness in a rhyme, almost like a song that also includes scientific discoveries yet to be unfold for another decade or two, only then you have answered God's challenge of coming up with your own version of a holy book. Not forgetting historic events and explanations of the human questions. Did I mentioned Arabic no plagiarism? Well, to be fair, I would exclude this requirement. Could you give a link of your so called book of truth. Thanks. Hope this got through. Sorry for the belated comment. Just caught your blog tonight.

Randomdude123 said...

My Surah:
هذا الكتاب هو واحد من الكتب. السورة ، التي حظرت لأن المسلمين يكرهون الله. هذا الكتاب هو أقدم من ابن الله لا على الأقل تانغ في السرير. ويسمى هذا الكتاب للشعوب. بلدان العالم يسمع الله. هو الله الله. الله أك
English version:

This book is one of the books. Sura, which was banned because Muslims hate God. This book is the oldest of the Son of God does not at least the Tang in bed. This is called the book of the peoples. Countries of the world hears God. God is God. God is great

Arabic name:
English name:
The peoples