11 March 2009

God's seven year, world-wide famine

This one is all about Joseph. There's a whole series of stupid Joseph stories in Genesis: Jacob loved Joseph more than his other children (Genesis 37.3); Joseph's brothers throw him in a well (37.24); Joseph is rescued from the well and sold to the Ishmaelites (37.28); Joseph goes to prison after being falsely accused of rape (39.20); Joseph interprets the dream of his cellmate (40.8-19); Joseph interprets the Pharaoh's dream (41.25-32); the Pharaoh makes Joseph the overseer of all of Egypt (41.33).

The Bible isn't too clear on this, but as near as I can tell, God starved everyone on earth so that Joseph could become the most powerful person in Egypt by interpreting the Pharaoh's dream so that God could get the Israelites enslaved by Pharaoh and then rescue them by sending plagues on the Egyptians. Or something like that.

OK. That all makes perfect sense. But what was the Pharaoh's dream?
Well, there were these seven fat, good looking cows that came out of the Nile, followed by seven skinny, ugly cows. The skinny cows ate the fat ones.
And it came to pass … that Pharaoh dreamed: and, behold, he stood by the river. And, behold, there came up out of the river seven well favoured kine and fatfleshed; and they fed in a meadow. And, behold, seven other kine came up after them out of the river, ill favoured and leanfleshed; and stood by the other kine upon the brink of the river. And the ill favoured and leanfleshed kine did eat up the seven well favoured and fat kine. So Pharaoh awoke. Genesis 41.1-4
Then Pharaoh had another dream. This time seven skinny heads of grain ate seven fat ones.
And he slept and dreamed the second time: and, behold, seven ears of corn came up upon one stalk, rank and good. And, behold, seven thin ears and blasted with the east wind sprung up after them. And the seven thin ears devoured the seven rank and full ears. And Pharaoh awoke, and, behold, it was a dream. 41.5-7
No one could interpret Pharaoh's dream. So they called Joseph. Joseph said it was simple. God was going to send seven good years followed by seven years of famine. And the famine would be world-wide and "very grievous."
This is the thing which … God is about to do.…There come seven years of great plenty throughout all the land of Egypt: And there shall arise after them seven years of famine. … It shall be very grievous. … The thing is established by God, and God will shortly bring it to pass. 41.28-32
Joseph said the Pharaoh should have the Egyptians store up food during the seven good years so they wouldn't starve (like everyone else) during the bad.

And it all happened just like Joseph said it would. The Pharaoh did what Joseph suggested and had Joseph oversee it all. And Joseph became the most powerful person in Egypt.

So things worked out well for Joseph, but not so well for everyone else.

When the famine struck, everyone on earth (including the Egyptians) had to buy their food from Joseph. If they couldn't make it to Egypt or didn't have enough money, they starved. It was all part of God's plan.
The seven years of dearth began to come, according as Joseph had said: and the dearth was in all lands … And the famine was over all the face of the earth … And all countries came into Egypt to Joseph for to buy corn; because that the famine was so sore in all lands. 41.54-57
But how many people starved to death during God's seven year famine?

I have no idea. But since the Bible says it was “over all the face of the earth” and was a "very grievous famine," I figure it must have been at least 70,000 or so, 10,000 each year.

God's next killing: The seventh plague of Egypt: hail


Nathan said...

I've always wondered about the heavy usage of the number seven in the Bible. I think it might have come from the Babylonians, and the seven visible planets.

Hmmm, God has seven spirits, and people don't call him by his actual name. I've got it! Voldemort is disguising himself as God!

busterggi said...


If there was worldwide famine that only friends of Joseph survived then where did all those Moabites, Canaanites & others that the Hebrews had to war against after the exodus come from?

I Am said...

While it's true the Bible isn't 100% clear on this (the Bible is good at not being clear), I think Steve and wise fool are right. Joseph (reportedly) interpreted the dream correctly, and in that interpretation he said God would send the famine. I would think if God didn't actually cause it, he'd speak up or punish Joseph for falsely pinning the famine on him.

So notch yet another mass murder for the big guy. God is kind of like a homicidal Energizer bunny. He keeps killing, and killing, and killing...

busterggi said...

Bet those poor starving folks in China & Meso-America were really puzzled about what they'd done wrong.

Nathan said...

Maybe they all ate each other.

Ian said...


They probably came from the same place Cain's wife came from.

FrodoSaves said...

When the famine struck, everyone on earth (including the Egyptians) had to buy their food from Joseph

That's a little like taking your dinghy down to New Orleans during Katrina and demanding a soggy Andrew Jackson before letting anyone on board.

No, wait. It's exactly like that.

Matthew Blanchette said...

Why did God like Joseph again? All the guy's really famous for is his Technicolor Dreamcoat, anyway... :P

REX said...

Joseph's 7 year global famine can now be proven!


Joseph lived for 110 years 1741-1631 B.C. (Genesis 50:26) Joseph age 30 (Genesis 41:40-46) became governor of Egypt in 1711 B.C. There was 7 years of great harvest and the second year of famine Joseph age 39 in 1702 B.C. met his father Jacob age 130 (Genesis 47:9) in Egypt. Global famine 1704-1697 B.C. (Genesis 41:1-57)

(1) Jacob brought the starving Hebrew people into Egypt settling near Biblical On (Genesis 41:45) Heliopolis, Egypt in 1702 B.C.

(2) Starving Hyksos Canaanite chieftain Sheshi lead his people into Avaris, Egypt trading their horses for bread (Genesis 47:13-17) in 1702 B.C. during the world famine. (Genesis 41:57)

(3) Starving Minoans from Crete also settle in Egypt’s delta in 1700 B.C. Other Minoans migrate to mainland Greece in 1700 B.C. spreading their Minoan culture there.

(4) Starving Indo-European Sealanders invade Amorite Babylon king Abi-Eshuh 1710-1684 B.C. settling in southern Babylonia in 1700 B.C. Abi-Eshuh dams up the Tigris river trying to starve the Sealanders out.

(5) Starving Indo-European tribes invade Dravidan dominated India in 1700 B.C. Indo-Europeans destroy the Dravidan Mohenjo-Daro civilizatin in 1700 B.C.

(6)Starving Indo-European tribes invade western China in 1700 B.C. Chinese archaelogist discovered Indo-European mummies in western China. The Indo-Europeans introduced the Chinese to the horse driven chariot. NOTE: Indo-European Kassites were first to use the horse driven chariot attacking Babylon in the reign of Amorite Babylon king Samsu-iluna 1750-1711 B.C. in his 9th year in 1741 B.C. NOTE: Joseph age 30 was given the Egyptian pharaoh’s 2nd chariot in 1711 B.C. (Genesis 41:43)

(7) Chinese Shang Dynasty very early in the dynasty recorded a 7 year famine verifying Joseph’s account of the 7 year global famine in Egypt. (Genesis 41:57)

(8) The American agricultural Indians establish the Poverty Point Mound Culture in Louisiana in 1700 B.C. building their first city in North America during the world famine.

(9) Olmecs migrate into the Yucatan Peninsula in 1700 B.C. Archaeologist state the Olmecs invented plumbing and the Olmecs were interested in water conservtion at this time in world history.

(10) Joseph’s account of the world famine (Genesis 41:57) is supported by archaelogy and the migrations of ancient people’s in 1700 B.C. Why not pass this information along to people who are interested in Biblical history.

REX said...

Israel became a nation reborn on May 14, 1948

Four red moons followed. (1) April 13, 1949 Passover blood red moon (2)October 7, 1949 Sukkot blood red moon (3)April 2, 1950 Passover blood red moon (4)September 26, 1950 blood red moon.

June 6 Day War in 1967. (1)April 24, 1967 Passover blood red moon (2) October 18, 1967 Sukkot blood red moon(3)April 13, 1968 Passover blood red moon (4)October 6, 1968 Sukkot blood red moon. (One red moon before the 6 Day War followed by three more red moons)

What will happen in 2013 since Four blood red moons will follow? OR will April 15,2014 pass with one red moon like what happened in the Six Day War followed by three red moons meaning the Sunni Arabs will go to war against Israel sometime after April 15,2014 and before October 8,2014?

(1)April 15,2014 Passover blood red moon (2)October 8,2014 Sukkot blood red moon (3)April 4,2015 Passover blood red moon (4)September 28,2015 Sukkot blood red moon.

Will 2013 A.D. be the year when Israel crushes the Sunni Arab terrorists living along all her borders in fulfillment of the Psalms 83 prophecy? Or will this prophecy fulfillment take place after April 2014 & before October 8,2014?

Syrian president Assad has told his generals should he die he wants his generals to launch their rockets upon Israel’s cities. Should the Syrian commanders follow Assad’s advice Damascus will be destroyed (Isaiah 17:1) in one night. (Isaiah 17:14)

God used the sun to help Joshua destroy Israel’s ancient enemies. (Joshua 10:12-14) Today, God uses the four red moons to warn the Israelites their enemies plans of attack.

Unknown said...

he said my sheep shall know my voice...understandable that his text sounds like a bed time story...lol...dwell with yourselves...you dead Mann's bones smh....

Lacrymology said...

Who the hell translated this? How could the pharaoh dream of corn 3000 years before Columbus even got to the Americas?

Randy said...

@Lacrymology: That'd be King James' boys, back in early 17th century England, where they still use "corn" to refer to grains in general, and what we call "corn" in America, they call by the Native American term for it, "maize", go figure. So yeah, it makes fine sense, as far as that goes.