30 October 2012

Biblical Halloween Costumes: It's time to take it back from the pagans!

Here are some costume ideas from the Bible. (Re-post for Halloween.)
  1. God's Clever Talking Serpent
    Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said ....Genesis 3:1-5

  2. Lot and his daughters
    Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him ... Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father. Genesis 19:30-38
    This is pretty simple. And old guy, two young women, and a jug of wine (Clothing optional).

  3. An abominable, four-legged, flying creeping thing.
    But all other flying creeping things, which have four feet, shall be an abomination unto you. Leviticus 11:23

  4. Fiery Serpent
    And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died. Numbers 21:6

  5. Talking Donkey
    And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam .... Numbers 22:28-30

  6. An Evil Spirit from the Lord. (Judges 9:23; 1 Samuel 16:14-16, 16:23, 18:10, 19:9)
    The evil spirit from God came upon Saul, and he prophesied. 18:10
    All evil spirits come from God, but I don't know what they look like. Maybe something like this.

  7. Jael
    And Jael went out to meet Sisera, and said unto him, Turn in, my lord, turn in to me; fear not. ... And she opened a bottle of milk, and gave him drink, and covered him. ... Then Jael Heber's wife took a nail of the tent, and took an hammer in her hand, and went softly unto him, and smote the nail into his temples, and fastened it into the ground. Judges 4:18-21
    Costume: Woman with hammer, tent stake, blanket, and cup of milk.

  8. Samson with the jawbone of an ass
    (Just try to keep the spirit of the Lord from coming upon you!)
    The spirit of the Lord came mightily upon Samson and he found a new jawbone of an ass ... and took it, and slew 1000 men therewith. Judges 15:14-15

  9. Jesus

    Forget all the stuff you've seen on TV. Jesus doesn't look like that anymore. To see what he looks like now you need to go to the Book of Revelation.
    ...the Son of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle. His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire; His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire; And his feet like unto fine brass, ... And he had in his right hand seven stars: and out of his mouth went a sharp twoedged sword. Revelation 1:13-16
    Costume: Long white robe, golden girdle, white face and hair, red eyes, brass feet, seven stars in hand, sword sticking out of mouth.

    And here's what he will look like when he gets into his planned mass killings at the end of the world.
    Behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself. And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God. ... And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations. Revelation 19:11-15
    Costume: a bunch of crowns on your head, sword sticking out of your mouth, clothing dipped in blood

    There is one other possible Jesus costume, but it may be illegal in some places. You see Jesus had a special tattoo on his thigh (which is a biblical euphemism for testicles): "King of Kings" one on side and "Lord of Lord" on the other.
    And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS. Revelation 19:15
    Costume: Tattooed thigh or scrotum

  10. Anything from the Book of Revelation
    (Just pick a verse pretty much anywhere, but the Whore of Babylon is always fun!)


twillight said...

I suggest Jacob's Esau-costume. Some goat-skin on your arms, and voilá!

Steve Wells said...

Yeah, that's a good one, twillight.

That Rebekah/Jacob deception was pretty nasty. And it would make a nice costume, too.

Matthew Blanchette said...

How about Job, halfway through his eponymous Book? Covered in sores, boils, weeping, the like...

Make for a lot of Halloween fun, it would.

Steve Wells said...

Oh yeah, Job, would be a good one, Matt. Then we could throw Satan in too.

Anonymous said...

Instead of the typical douche in the red horned suit, someone should dress up as BAPHOMET!!!

twillight said...

Hm, how does Satan look like?
Male, winged... As costume I'd most probably wear a lawer's suit... But is there a detailful description about him in the Bible somewhere what I'm not aware of?

Brucker said...

I couldn't find any really creative costume ideas (I should have read this!), and considered going the Wednesday Addams route: "I'm a homicidal maniac- they look just like everyone else." My wife asked me to kindly refrain from expressing such ideas.

Randomdude123 said...

Halloween it's stuff is pagan! LOLZ!

Fatman said...

The Bible does not contain a single physical description of Satan AFAIK, he is usually described as a voice inside people's heads that tries to get them to do bad things.

The whole red dude with cloven feet and horns/beard thing was probably invented by clerical maniacs in the Dark Ages who wanted to scare their sheep into obedience. During this period graphic depictions of the horrors of Hell (which is also never described in the Bible, apart from vague references to fire) were a common sight in churches. Imagine the effect they wrought on those primitive Christian minds.

nazani said...

Sampson's outfit is interesting - looks like an Assyrian version of a kilt and sporran...hey, maybe the Scots really are "Ladies from Hell."

Enough about me....what about you? said...

How did that rascal of a snake speak Aramaic with no vocal cords?