07 October 2012

Jacob 5: A tale of two olive trees (and a new SAB category)

In the last chapter, Jacob told us (using many more words than was necessary) about the difficulty of engraving words on plates. Now he tells us about two olive trees.

This is the longest and most boring chapter in the most boring book ever written (The Book of Mormon). Thirty-one times it came to pass that the trees were cumbered, grafted, pruned, plucked, dunged, and digged about for no apparent purpose, except to waste 3733 words.  I've read it several times, but I have no idea what it is about. Someone should ask Mitt Romney.

Still, I'm glad I read it, because it inspired me to create a new SAB category: the boring stuff. Now I can give the genealogies in the Bible their proper emphasis, along with pretty much all of Ezra and Nehemiah. And then, of course, there are the 19 chapters of Isaiah that God and/or Joseph Smith used as filler in the Book of Mormon.

Unfortunately, the new category won't appear in the SAB book, which has been sent off to the printer. Oh well, maybe the next edition.


Stephen said...

Don't worry,Steve! We'll be able, after a while, to tell the boring parts by the drool marks and facial impressions on the pages. ;-)
Steve Weeks

Anonymous said...

Steve, wouldn't it be faster and simpler to make a category for passages of the bible that are not boring? Otherwise, you'll have to include at least 95% of Not So Good Book!

RJ said...

So this chapter talks about the past and future of the people on earth until the end of the world, and you call it the most boring chapter. Wow.