31 March 2015

EJ&T Proverbs 6-20: Learn from the ant, beat your children, and smite a scorner

In the Every Jot and Tittle project, I am listing all of the Bible's commandments from Genesis to Revelation, in accordance with Jesus's words in Matthew 5:18-19. I have no idea how many commandments I'll find, but Jewish tradition claims there are 613. See here for a list of those that I've found so far.

  1. If you promise to do something for a friend and then aren't able to do it, apologize immediately.
  2. My son, if thou be surety for thy friend, if thou hast stricken thy hand with a stranger, Thou art snared with the words of thy mouth, thou art taken with the words of thy mouth. Do this now, my son, and deliver thyself, when thou art come into the hand of thy friend; go, humble thyself, and make sure thy friend. Give not sleep to thine eyes, nor slumber to thine eyelids. Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler. Proverbs 6:1-5

  3. Learn from the ant, you lazy ass.
  4. Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest. Proverbs 6:6-8

  5. Say to wisdom, "You are my sister."
  6. Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister. Proverbs 7:4

  7. Say to understanding, "You are my female relative."
  8. Call understanding thy kinswoman. Proverbs 7:4

  9. Understand wisdom.
  10. O ye simple, understand wisdom. Proverbs 8:5

  11. Have an understanding heart.
  12. Ye fools, be ye of an understanding heart. Proverbs 8:5

  13. Forsake the foolish.
  14. Forsake the foolish. Proverbs 9:6

  15. Don't reprove a scorner.
  16. Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee. Proverbs 9:8

  17. Rebuke a wise man.
  18. Rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee. Proverbs 9:8

  19. Instruct a wise man.
  20. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser. Proverbs 9:9

  21. Teach a just man.
  22. Teach a just man, and he will increase in learning. Proverbs 9:9

  23. Stay away from foolish people.
  24. Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge. Proverbs 14:7

  25. Commit your works to the Lord.
  26. Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established. Proverbs 16:3

  27. Beat your children and don't stop just because they cry.
  28. Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. Proverbs 19:18

    Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. Proverbs 23:13-14

    Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest. Proverbs 29:17

  29. Smite a scorner.
  30. Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware. Proverbs 19:25

  31. Reprove people who understand.
  32. Reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge. Proverbs 19:25

  33. Take a garment from a stranger and a pledge for a strange woman.
  34. Take his garment that is surety for a stranger; and take a pledge of him for a strange woman. Proverbs 20:16


Dan said...

Apparently it is ok to smite a scorner but not reprove him. Maybe if you smite him from behind he won't hate you as much. Not sure exactly what to do with those damn scorners.

Xavier 555 said...

Rule 710: Aren't the foolish, downtrodden, etc the ones Christians are supposed to be reaching out to? Good job bible, good job "loving Christians". Adding to the giant list of contradictions..