The Bible and the Quran agree: Stay away from menstruating women

But if a man be just, and do that which is lawful and right, and hath not ... come near to a menstruous woman.... Ezekiel 18:5

They question thee (O Muhammad) concerning menstruation. Say: It is an illness, so let women alone at such times.... Quran 2:222

Finally, a topic upon which Muslims, Christians, and Jews can fully agree! Women are unclean when menstruating and men should stay the hell away from them.

Here's what the Bible has to say. (A women who is menstruating is unclean and should be kept away from everyone else for seven days. Whatever she touches or sits on is unclean. Whoever touches a such a women is unclean. Whoever touches her bed is unclean. Whoever touches anything that she sits on is unclean. And anyone who has sex with a menstruating woman is really unclean -- unclean for seven days.)

And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even. And every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean. And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even. And whosoever toucheth any thing that she sat upon shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even. And if it be on her bed, or on any thing whereon she sitteth, when he toucheth it, he shall be unclean until the even. And if any man lie with her at all, and her flowers be upon him, he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be unclean. Leviticus 15:19-24

The Bible goes on and on about this, but I think you get the idea. Finally the woman is allowed back into society, when on the eighth day she goes to the priest and sacrifices two pigeons or two doves ("turtles" in the KJV) as a "sin offering" -- "an atonement for her before the LORD for the issue of her uncleanness."

But if she be cleansed of her issue, then she shall number to herself seven days, and after that she shall be clean. And on the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtles, or two young pigeons, and bring them unto the priest, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And the priest shall offer the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering; and the priest shall make an atonement for her before the LORD for the issue of her uncleanness. Leviticus 15:28-30

Other passages in the Bible also address menstruation, but this is one of the few topics upon which the Bible speaks consistently and clearly. (Except for the punishment of having sex with a woman during her menses.)

Also thou shalt not approach unto a woman to uncover her nakedness, as long as she is put apart for her uncleanness. Leviticus 18:19

And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people. Leviticus 20:18

In other places, the Bible refers to menstruation in ways that show how God sees it.

Let it not displease my lord that I cannot rise up before thee: for the custom of women is upon me. Genesis 31:34-35

Thou shalt cast them away as a menstruous cloth. Isaiah 30:22

Jerusalem is as a menstrous woman. Lamentations 1:17

They humbled her that was set apart for pollution. Ezekiel 22:10

The Quran says it all in just one verse, but it is in complete agreement with the Bible.

They question thee (O Muhammad) concerning menstruation. Say: It is an illness, so let women alone at such times and go not in unto them till they are cleansed. And when they have purified themselves, then go in unto them as Allah hath enjoined upon you. 2:222

Menstruation is a sickness. Menstrating women are unclean. Stay away from them while they are menstruating. And, for God's sake, don't have sex with them!

Allah hates pubic hair

I'm not sure why Allah feels this way, but according to Muhammad, he does. Here's what the prophet supposedly said about it.

Five practices are characteristics of the fitrah: circumcision, shaving the pubic hairs, cutting the mustaches short, clipping the nails and plucking the hair of the armpits. (Reported in Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim)

And although the Quran is silent on pubic hair, it does say that everyone must do whatever Muhammad says.

And whatsoever the messenger giveth you, take it. And whatsoever he forbiddeth, abstain (from it). And keep your duty to Allah. Lo! Allah is stern in reprisal. Quran 59:7

So Muhammad says you must shave your pubic hair, and the Quran says you must do whatever Muhammad tells you to do. Now that you know, you have no excuse.

Here are detailed instructions on just how to do it.

It's a bit complicated ("...start shaving the pubic hair from beneath the navel, and to start on the right hand side...").

Be sure to read the instructions before starting.

Absalom's hair was heavy upon him

But in all Israel there was none to be so much praised as Absalom for his beauty: from the sole of his foot even to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him. And when he polled his head [cut his hair], (for it was at every year's end that he polled it: because the hair was heavy on him, therefore he polled it:) he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels after the king's weight. 2 Samuel 14:25-26

Absalom was the best looking guy in all of Israel -- with one hell of a head of hair. He'd let it grow all year and then cut it, which he had to do each year because it got so darned heavy. One year's growth weighed 200 skekels.

And how heavy is 200 shekels? Well, one shekel weighed about 11 grams. So Absalom's haircut trimmings weighed in at 2.2 kilograms.

How does this compare with normal human hair?

An average head hair has a diameter of about 0.007 cm (70 micrometers) and grows 15 cm per year. And an average head has about 100,000 hair follicles on it. Since human hair has a density of 1.32 g/cm³, we can estimate the weight of an average person's yearly hair production.

weight = pi * (.0035 cm)² * 15 cm * 100,000 hairs * 1.32 g/cm³ = 76 g

So an average person produces about 0.076 kilogram of hair annually -- about than 1/30th that of Absalom.

Of course Absalom wasn't an average person. He was, after all, the best looking guy in Israel. So maybe his hair was 30 times as thick or 20 times as dense as normal human hair. Or maybe the Bible was just making stuff up.

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Source for human hair values: Robbins, C.R., Chemical and Physical Behavior of Human Hair, Fourth Edition, Springer (2002)

I deny the existence of the Holy Spirit

The blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven. Matthew 12:31

He that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation. Mark 3:29

Unto him that blasphemeth against the Holy Ghost it shall not be forgiven. Luke 12:10

Take the Blasphemy Challenge; deny the existence of the Holy Spirit. It's time for us all to stop believing (or pretending to believe) out of fear or politeness.

42: It's not God's favorite number

(Although it is The Answer to The Ultimate Question Of Life, the Universe and Everything.)

One of my favorite Bible stories for children is the Story of Elisha and the bears.

He [Elisha] went up from there to Bethel; and while he was going up on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, "Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!" And he turned around, and when he saw them, he cursed them in the name of the LORD. And two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys. (New Revised Version) 2 Kings 2:23-24

So much action packed into two short verses!

But what's really important here is the moral of the story. What is God trying to teach us here?

Well some things are obvious.

1. Don't make fun of religious leaders (or God might kill you in a particularly gruesome way).

2. Children shouldn't make fun of bald men.

3. God doesn't much like the number 42.

Okay, maybe the third one isn't so obvious. But doesn't it seem strange to have 42 little boys running out of the city screaming "Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!" all at once? And then to have all 42 of them ripped apart by bears? Two or three, even a half dozen maybe, but not 42.

So maybe the number of boys was inflated a bit. But, still, why make it 42?

Because, you see, God really likes seven (that's why he has seven spirits) and he hates six (666 and all that). So since 7 is perfect and six is evil, 7 times 6 is perfectly evil.

So when the story of Elisha and the bears was made up (well, you didn't really believe it, did you?), 42 was selected for the number of boys. It showed how bad those boys must have been and how much they deserved being torn up by bears.

For other demonstrations of God's hatred of 42 see Judges 12:5-6; 2 Kings 10:14; Revelation 11:2, and 13:5.