03 August 2013

I am the one who knocks

Or if you prefer the Bible to Breaking Bad, the title of this post could be: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Revelation 3:20

But whatever you call it, it was a complete disaster.

Here's what happened.

We packed the car with SABs and headed out to a nice-looking neighborhood, just far enough away that no one would recognize us. There were four of us: my wife, Carole, my son, Philip, one of Philip's friends and me. As we drove to the site we rehearsed our script and developed responses to the reactions that we expected to have. When we arrived, we split up into pairs and went in opposite directions down the street.

The first house that Carole and I came to had a fence and a large dog that came out to greet us. The dog was pleasant enough but the owner was not. He growled, "We're Catholics" and from the look on his face we decided not to show him the wonderful book we were carrying.

The next few houses had cars parked in the driveways and looked occupied. But no one answered the door when we knocked.

We did get a few people to come to the door, but the results were always discouraging. One said, "We go to church every Sunday and have plenty of Bibles. We don't need another." Others just said, "No thanks." No one was interested in whatever it was we trying to give away.

The other pair of door-knockers had similar experiences. All four of us were convinced that we could continue all afternoon and not give away a single SAB.

So the correct answer was zero, and the closest to that was Pecos B who guessed 1%. (If you'd like the prize, Pecos B, send me an email with your address and I'll send you the 2nd edition of DWB.)

It was an interesting experience though. I felt a bit like Walter White and a bit like Jesus -- spoiling people's Saturday afternoon while forcing unwanted views upon them. 

Jesus is standing at the door of your heart just waiting for you to let Him in... Jesus:

I won't be trying that again. 


TWF said...

Ha! I was way off! I guess the Jehovah's Witnesses have spoiled it for everyone else. ;-)

I think it's quite commendable that you all gave it a shot. Great work!

One alternate you could try, if you don't want to give up completely, is to set up a table and chairs at a local college or street fair, and just put up signs that say "Your Bible Questions Answered!", and "Free Bible!". That way, people are coming up to you, not the other way around. You won't be ruining anyone's Saturday. ;-)

Steve Wells said...

Yeah, TWF, I think you're right about that. I'm pretty sure everyone who saw us thought we were Jehovah's Witnesses, which doomed us from the start.

So we're going leave the door-knocking to the JWs and donate books to student secular groups or anyone else that is willing to set up tables to pass them out. More like Gideons than JWs.

Thanks for the suggestion and encouragement!

teavee said...

A good effort, but I can understand people not wanting to be bothered at home, especially about religious matters. Maybe you could leave flyers on peoples doors (less intrusive) inviting them to show up at some convenient place near by on a day you set up to give away free SABs, or to contact you. You could cover a larger number of people and maybe a few will bite.

Nathan said...

lol - How about mailing them to random addresses (80% or more will be Christian) instead of secular groups.

Or - Teavee's flyer idea. Except include the SAB web address (or maybe not because it could scare them off?) and ask them to email you if they're interested in a free copy of the King James Bible (SAB).

Tell them 1) it is the unaltered King James version, 2) you literally spent 20 years going through it making annotations on every page, and finally, 3) you would like some feedback / constructive criticism on how the book is structured.

I still think the Drunk with Blood book is better (more to the point) for deconversion. The bible is ridiculously long(nobody - not even Christians - read that long boring ass book!)

DWB is hilarious (1st version because they probably will think the Apocrypha is satantic and un-Christian to look at).

You'll even struggle with that though. I tried giving a copy to my mom and she wouldn't look at it. (They literally feel guilty/ashamed/sinful...Like you are crossing sides and working for the devil if you point out the flaws of the bible! Especially the Flying-Old-Man-in-the-Sky's serial killer spree throughout the bible.)

Stephen said...

Well, if you had knocked on *my* door, I would have invited you in for tea and cookies!
Kudos on the effort. People may just be predisposed not to be bothered... I know I don't appreciate pollsters, fund-raisers, etc., and we have a sign on our window that says "No Religious Callers Invited" (left there by the previous owners). We used to get the occasional Mor(m)on of Jojoba's Witless... but not in lo these many years now.
I like TWF's idea, though. You'd get a self-selected response. Plus, you'd draw out any skeptics who were spoiling for a confrontation... *SURPRISE!*.
Steve Weeks

skanksta said...

Get the Dawkins Foundation to pay for a load to be sent out..:)

Brucker said...

I really need to keep up with your blog better, I just happened to think of you today when I was researching something else and came across this this comic.

In my opinion, it's a success that you even tried, since it takes some balls to do something like that. (As I think I said before, *I* wouldn't have had the guts for it. If you didn't give away any materials, at least it cost you nothing but a little time, right?

Steve Wells said...

Thanks Brucker. I think it was somewhat of a success too, just to give it a try.

And I think it would have worked, too, if it wasn't that people run, scream, or play dead when they see two people coming to their door with books in their hands. They think they know a Jehovah's Witness when they see one.

It did give me an appreciation of what my sister and son to through every Saturday. The JWs don't believe in hell, but that's as close as I ever want to get to it.