God hates Christmas trees

Those who have read the Bible know that the God of love hates many things. And Christmas trees are on his most hated list.

Here's what he has to say about them.

Thus saith the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen.... For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest ... with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold. Jeremiah 10:2-4

There are a couple other verses that sound like condemnations of Christmas trees, celebrations, fires, and roast beast. But, hey, it's the Bible. Who knows what the hell it means?

The workman melteth a graven image, and the goldsmith spreadeth it over with gold, and casteth silver chains. He ... chooseth a tree ... to prepare a graven image. Isaiah 40:19-20

He heweth him down cedars ... among the trees of the forest ... yea, he kindleth it, and baketh bread ... he maketh it a graven image ... he roasteth roast, and is satisfied: yea, he warmeth himself, and saith, Aha, I am warm, I have seen the fire. Isaiah 44:14-16

That's what I was just saying to myself: Aha, I am warm, I have seen the fire.

Mosiah 8: A Seer is Greater Than a Prophet

After King Limhi is done with his speech, he makes Ammon tell everyone what his people have been up to since the time that Zeniff left the land of Zarahemla.  Ammon agrees, and throws in King Benjamin's speech as a bonus.

8:1 And it came to pass that after king Limhi had made an end of speaking to his people, for he spake many things unto them and only a few of them have I written in this book, he told his people all the things concerning their brethren who were in the land of Zarahemla.

8:2 And he caused that Ammon should stand up before the multitude, and rehearse unto them all that had happened unto their brethren from the time that Zeniff went up out of the land even until the time that he himself came up out of the land. 

8:3 And he also rehearsed unto them the last words which king Benjamin had taught them, and explained them to the people of king Limhi, so that they might understand all the words which he spake.

After all of this, King Limhi dismisses his people and the "multitude" go home.

8:4 And it came to pass that after he had done all this, that king Limhi dismissed the multitude, and caused that they should return every one unto his own house.

The fun is only just beginning, though.  Lemhi brings out the plates of his people and makes Ammon read them.

8:5 And it came to pass that he caused that the plates which contained the record of his people from the time that they left the land of Zarahemla, should be brought before Ammon, that he might read them.

After Ammon finishes reading the plates, Limhi asks him if he can interpret languages. Ammon says he can't (although at this point he might just be getting tired of reading plates and giving speeches).

8:6 Now, as soon as Ammon had read the record, the king inquired of him to know if he could interpret languages, and Ammon told him that he could not. 

Then King Limhi launches into another story.  He explains how he sent a search party to find Zarahemla, but they couldn't find it.  They got lost in the wilderness for many days and came upon a land of many waters, which was covered with the bones of men and beasts.  Among the ruins they found 24 golden engraved plates, breastplates of brass and copper, and rusty swords.

8:7 And the king said unto him: Being grieved for the afflictions of my people, I caused that forty and three of my people should take a journey into the wilderness, that thereby they might find the land of Zarahemla, that we might appeal unto our brethren to deliver us out of bondage.

8:8 And they were lost in the wilderness for the space of many days, yet they were diligent, and found not the land of Zarahemla but returned to this land, having traveled in a land among many waters, having discovered a land which was covered with bones of men, and of beasts, and was also covered with ruins of buildings of every kind, having discovered a land which had been peopled with a people who were as numerous as the hosts of Israel.  

8:9 And for a testimony that the things that they had said are true they have brought twenty-four plates which are filled with engravings, and they are of pure gold.  

8:10 And behold, also, they have brought breastplates, which are large, and they are of brass and of copper, and are perfectly sound.

Then King Limhi asks him again if he can translate, or if he knows anyone else who can.  Ammon says that the King of Zarahemla could probably do it.  He's a seer, after all.

8:12 And I say unto thee again: Knowest thou of any one that can translate? For I am desirous that these records should be translated into our language. 

8:13 Now Ammon said unto him: I can assuredly tell thee, O king, of a man that can translate the records; for he has wherewith that he can look, and translate all records that are of ancient date; and it is a gift from God. And the things are called interpreters, and no man can look in them except he be commanded, lest he should look for that he ought not and he should perish. And whosoever is commanded to look in them, the same is called seer. 

8:14 And behold, the king of the people who are in the land of Zarahemla is the man that is commanded to do these things, and who has this high gift from God.

King Limhi was happy to have found a seer.  Both Ammon and Limhi agreed that seers are far superior to prophets.  You see, a seer is both a revelator and a prophet.  (Of course, Joseph Smith was all three).

8:15 And the king said that a seer is greater than a prophet. A seer is greater than a prophet. He is a revelator with a Divine gift that is greater than all others. 

8:16 And Ammon said that a seer is a revelator and a prophet also; and a gift which is greater can no man have, except he should possess the power of God, which no man can; yet a man may have great power given him from God.

Seers are handy to have around, because they reveal stuff, tell secrets, light up hidden things, make things known, and make other things known that couldn't have been known otherwise.  It's a hard job.

8.17 By them shall all things be revealed, or, rather, shall secret things be made manifest, and hidden things shall come to light, and things with are not known shall be made known by them, and also things shall be made known by them which otherwise could not be known.

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The next 13 chapters of Mosiah are known as "The Record of Zeniff."  They are a flashback that covers from the time Zeniff left Zarahemla to the time of King Limhi. I'll get to all that in the next exciting episode of the Book of Mormon.

Terry Jones, The Innocence of Muslims, and Leviticus 24:16

Earlier this week, an Egyptian court sentenced seven people to death for their involvement in the anti-Islam film, The Innocence of Muslims.

"The seven accused persons were convicted of insulting the Islamic religion through participating in producing and offering a movie that insults Islam and its prophet,'' Egyptian Judge Saif al-Nasr Soliman said Wednesday.

The convicted blasphemers are living outside of Egypt and so are unlikely to be executed.

Another person accused of insulting Islam is the Quran-buring Florida pastor, Terry Jones. His case is scheduled for December 29.*

The strange thing about all this is this: The Quran does not specify the death penalty for blasphemy. (Not directly, anyway.**)

But the Bible sure as hell does.

He that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him. Leviticus 24:16

 God commands believers to kill blasphemers -- by stoning them to death.

Why are Muslims the only ones who obey him? ***

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* I've spent a fair amount of time at this blog and the SAQ insulting Islam and its prophet (peanut butter and pig's fat be upon him). How come there's no death sentence out on me? I'm kind of insulted.

** There is a verse in the Quran that is applied in blasphemy cases.

The only reward of those who make war upon Allah and His messenger and strive after corruption in the land will be that they will be killed or crucified, or have their hands and feet on alternate sides cut off, or will be expelled out of the land. Such will be their degradation in the world, and in the Hereafter theirs will be an awful doom. Quran 5:33

Blasphemers "make war on Allah and His messenger" so they should "be killed or crucified, or have their hands and feet on alternate sides cut off" and then, of course, be tormented by Allah in hell forever.

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*** I've tried to get an answer from Bible believers about this, but without success.

Here are my questions.

1. Would it be wrong to obey God's command in Leviticus 24:16 today?
2. Was it ever right to obey it?

Mosiah 7: A Nephite Family Reunion

Hello everyone!  This is Philip, Steve's son.  I have been working on editing the SAB book these last 8 months, and now I'll be blogging the Book of Mormon.  With my help, we're hoping to get the Book of Mormon out in 2013.  Steve will be continuing with the Apocrypha and his regular posts.

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The last chapter ended with King Benjamin appointing Mosiah as the new King.  Well, things were going pretty good for King Mosiah II (his grandfather was also named Mosiah, remember?), and the first three years of his reign were peaceful.  But he was getting a little bored, and was wondering about his brethren who had left Zarahemla years ago  

7.1 And now, it came to pass that after king Mosiah had had continual peace for the space of three years, he was desirous to know concerning the people who went up to dwell in the land of Lehi-Nephi, or in the city of Lehi-Nephi; for his people had heard nothing from them from the time they left the land of Zarahemla; therefore, they wearied him with their teasings.

So he sent a search party to the land of Lehi-Nephi to go looking for them.  He sent 16 of his finest men, and  Ammon (a strong and mighty man) was to be their leader. 

7:2 And it came to pass that king Mosiah granted that sixteen of their strong men might go up to the land of Lehi-Nephi to inquire concerning their brethren.

7:3 And it came to pass that on the morrow they started to go up, having with them one Ammon, he being a strong and mighty man, and a descendant of Zarahemla; and he was also their leader.

After 40 days of wandering around, they set up camp on a hill north of Shilom, in the land of Nephi.  Maybe next time they'll pick a leader with a good sense of direction.

7:4 And now, they knew not the course they should travel in the wilderness to go up to the land of Lehi-Nephi; therefore they wandered many days in the wilderness, even forty days did they wander.

7:5 And when they had wandered forty days they came to a hill, which is north of the land of Shilom, and there they pitched their tents.

The next morning, Ammon and three of his best men went down into the land of Nephi to explore.  They promptly got thrown in jail by the king's guard.

7:6 And Ammon took three of his brethren, and their names were Amaleki, Helem, and Hem, and they went down into the land of Nephi.

7:7 And behold, they met the king of the people who were in the land of Nephi, and in the land of Shilom; and they were surrounded by the king's guard, and were taken, and were bound, and were committed to prison.

After two days in jail, the king brought them out for questioning.  He told them that he was Limhi (the son of Noah, who was the son of Zeniff, who came up out of the land of Zarahemla) and then asked them to explain why they were there, or else be put to death.  Seems fair.

7:8 And it came to pass when they had been in prison two days they were again brought before the king, and their bands were loosed; and they stood before the king, and were permitted, or rather commanded, that they should answer the questions which he should ask them.  

7:9 And he said unto them: Behold, I am Limhi, the son of Noah, who was the son of Zeniff, who came up out of the land of Zarahemla to inherit this land, which was the land of their fathers, who was made a king by the voice of the people.  

7:10 And now, I desire to know the cause whereby ye were so bold as to come near the walls of the city, when I, myself, was with my guards without the gate?  

7:11 And now, for this cause have I suffered that ye should be preserved, that I might inquire of you, or else I should have caused that my guards should have put you to death. Ye are permitted to speak.

Ammon bows and thanks King Limhi for not already killing him, and for letting him explain himself.  There is so much to be thankful for!

7:12 And now, when Ammon saw that he was permitted to speak, he went forth and bowed himself before the king; and rising again he said: O king, I am very thankful before God this day that I am yet alive, and am permitted to speak; and I will endeavor to speak with boldness;

After Ammon tells his story, Lemhi is pleased.  As it turns out, right now his people are being forced to pay a high tribute to the Lamenites, and he figures that his long-lost brethren in Zarahemla will help him out of the mess.

7:13 For I am assured that if ye had known me ye would not have suffered that I should have worn these bands. For I am Ammon, and am a descendant of Zarahemla, and have come up out of the land of Zarahemla to inquire concerning our brethren, whom Zeniff brought up out of that land.

7:14 And now, it came to pass that after Limhi had heard the words of Ammon, he was exceedingly glad, and said: Now, I know of a surety that my brethren who were in the land of Zarahemla are yet alive. And now, I will rejoice; and on the morrow I will cause that my people shall rejoice also.

7:15 For behold, we are in bondage to the Lamanites, and are taxed with a tax which is grievous to be borne. And now, behold, our brethren will deliver us out of our bondage, or out of the hands of the Lamanites, and we will be their slaves; for it is better that we be slaves to the Nephites than to pay tribute to the king of the Lamanites.

So King Lemhi set Ammon and his men free, and allowed them to eat, drink and rest in the city.  He even sent a few guards to collect the rest of the men who were still camping on the hill.

7:16 And now, king Limhi commanded his guards that they should no more bind Ammon nor his brethren, but caused that they should go to the hill which was north of Shilom, and bring their brethren into the city, that thereby they might eat, and drink, and rest themselves from the labors of their journey; for they had suffered many things; they had suffered hunger, thirst, and fatigue.

Then King Lemhi sent a proclamation to all his people, telling them to gather together for a speech (oh boy!).  Once everyone gathers around, he gives them the good news: "The time is at hand, or is not far distant, when we shall no longer be in subjection to our enemies."

He then preaches for a little while about how the tribute was their fault in the first place; that it was a punishment sent from the Lord because of their iniquity.  Luckily, God is now giving them a second chance.

7:18 And it came to pass that when they had gathered themselves together that he spake unto them in this wise, saying: O ye, my people, lift up your heads and be comforted; for behold, the time is at hand, or is not far distant, when we shall no longer be in subjection to our enemies, notwithstanding our many strugglings, which have been in vain; yet I trust there remaineth an effectual struggle to be made.

 7:25 For if this people had not fallen into transgression the Lord would not have suffered that this great evil should come upon them. But behold, they would not hearken unto his words; but there arose contentions among them, even so much that they did shed blood among themselves.

7:33 But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage.

The Machabees brothers (Simon, Judas, and Jonathan) slaughter the heathens

After the Hanukkah killings. the Gentiles gathered together to fight the Israelites, who sent messengers "with their garments rent" to Judas asking for help.

The Gentiles ... assembled themselves together against the Israelites ... to destroy them. 1 Machabees 5:9

There came other messengers out of Galilee with their garments rent. 5:14

And they asked the right guy.

Judas and his brothers (Simon and Jonathan) attacked the Gentiles in Galilee and Galaad.

Judas said to Simon his brother: Choose thee men, and go, and deliver thy brethren in Galilee: and I, and my brother Jonathan will go into the country of Galaad. 5:17 

Simon killed 3000 Galilean heathens and took their wives and children captive.

Simon went into Galilee, and fought many battles with the heathens: and the heathens were discomfited before his face." 5:21

And there fell of the heathens almost three thousand men, and he took the spoils of them. 5:22

And he took ... their wives, and children, and all that they had." 5:23

Judas and his army went to Bosor and "slew every male with the edge of the sword, took all their spoils, and burnt it with fire."

Judas and his army suddenly turned their march into the desert, to Bosor, and took the city: and he slew every male by the edge of the sword, and took all their spoils, and burnt it with fire. 5:28

Then they retreated to their fortress.

They ... went till they came to the fortress. 5:29 

The next day they saw "people without number" preparing to attack.

And it came to pass ... when they lifted up their eyes, behold there were people without number, carrying ladders and engines to take the fortress. 5:30

So they sounded their trumpets and cried out in prayer, which scared the hell out of Timotheus' army, who fled away in terror as Judas' men killed "almost eight thousand."

The cry of the battle went up to heaven like a trumpet. 5:31

And they sounded their trumpets, and cried out in prayer. 5:33

The host of Timotheus understood that it was Machabeus, and they fled away before his face: and they made a great slaughter of them: and there fell of them in that day almost eight thousand men. 5:34

Then Judas did unto the city of Maspha as he did to Bosor -- burning it to the ground after killing every male "with the edge of the sword."

And Judas turned aside to Maspha, and assaulted, and took it, and he slew every male thereof, and took the spoils thereof, and burnt it with fire. 5:35

Then he went and did likewise to "Casbon, and Mageth, and Bosor, and the rest of the cities of Galaad." (I guess he slaughtered Bosor again just for the heck of it.)

From thence he marched, and took Casbon, and Mageth, and Bosor, and the rest of the cities of Galaad. 5:36

Although Timotheus and his army ran away from Judas a few verses ago (5:34), he's back now with an "exceeding great" army. General Tim comes up with a great plan: if Judas is afraid to come near, Tim's army will win; if Judas isn't afraid to come near, Judas will win. Judas wasn't afraid, so Judas won.

But after this Timotheus gathered another army ... exceeding great 5:37-38

And Judas went to meet them. 5:39

And Timotheus said to the captains of his army: When Judas and his army come near ... if he pass over unto us first ... he will certainly prevail over us. 5:40

But if he be afraid to pass over ... we ... shall prevail against him. 5:41

Now when Judas came near ... he passed over to them first ... and all the heathens were discomfited before them, and they threw away their weapons, and fled to the temple that was in Carnaim. 5:42-43

All the heathens were discomfited before them, and they threw away their weapons, and fled to the temple that was in Carnaim. And he took that city, and the temple he burnt with fire. 5:44

Next Judas commands his soldiers to attack the great city of Ephron, kill every male, and then burn it.

They came as far as Ephron: now this was a great city. 5:46

Then Judas commanded proclamation to be made ... that they should make an assault. 5:49

They slew every male with the edge of the sword, and he razed the city, and took the spoils thereof, and passed through all the city over them that were slain. 5:51

To thank him for helping them slaughter the Gentiles, Judas and his brothers killed some animals for God. 

And they went up to mount Sion with joy and gladness, and offered holocausts, because not one of them was slain, till they had returned in peace. 5:54

Then Judas and his brethren attacked the children of Esau, burned walls and towers in Chebron, destroyed the all the altars and statues in the land of the aliens and strangers, and took the spoils of their cities.

Then Judas and his brethren went forth and attacked the children of Esau, in the land toward the south, and he took Chebron, and her towns: and he burnt the walls thereof and the towers all round it. 5:65

And he removed his camp to go into the land of the aliens, and he went through Samaria. 5:66

And Judas turned to Azotus into the land of the strangers, and he threw down their altars, and he burnt the statues of their gods with fire: and he took the spoils of the cities. 5:68

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So how heathens did God help the Machabees brothers kill?

• 3000 from Galilee
• Every male in Bosor (1000 estimate)
• 8000 soldiers in Timotheus' army
• Every male in Maspha (1000 estimate)
• Every male in Casbon, and Mageth, and Bosor, and the rest of the cities of Galaad (5000 estimate)
• All the heathens in Timotheus's army (10,000 estimate)
• Every male in Ephron (5000 estimate, since Ephron, as skanksta noted below, was "a great city")
• The children of Esau (1000 estimate)
• Chebron (1000 estimate)
• Samaria (1000 estimate)
• Azotus in the land of the strangers (1000 estimate)

So there were at least 11,000 victims, with a total estimate of 32,000