According the the Book of Mormon, Jesus is his own father

Joseph Smith was a bit confused about the relationship between Jesus and his father.

He saw the two of them together in his very first vision. Here's how he described it:

I retired to a secret place in a grove and began to call upon the Lord, while fervently engaged in supplication my mind was taken away from the objects with which I was surrounded, and I was enwrapped in a heavenly vision and saw two glorious personages who exactly resembled each other in features, and likeness, surrounded with a brilliant light which eclipsed the sun at noon-day. (Times and Seasons, Volume 3, pp.706-7)

And although in this account, the identical-looking "glorious personages" were not identified by name, he named them in another account.

I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him! (Joseph Smith-History, 1:17)

Here's a picture that someone took of the event.

(I'm not sure, but I think Jesus is on the left and his dad is on right, since the guy on the right seems to be pointing at the other guy. But you should ask a Mormon, just to be sure.)

So Jesus and his father are, or at least look like, identical twins.

Or maybe they they are the same person. That's why they appear identical, just like the Book of Mormon repeatedly and clearly states.

Here are the verses that I've found so far that say that Jesus is his own father, but let me know if I missed any.

1. He shall be called Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Father of heaven and earth. Mosiah 3:8

2. He shall be called the Son of God ... being the Father and the Son -- The Father, because he was conceived by the power of God; and the Son, because of the flesh; thus becoming the Father and Son And they are one God, yea, the very Eternal Father of heaven and of earth. Mosiah 15:2-4

3. Is the Son of God the very Eternal Father? Yea, he is the very Eternal Father. Alma 11:38-39

4. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Father of heaven and of earth. Helaman 14:12

5. He be the Son of God, the Father of heaven and of earth. Helaman 16:18

6. Behold, I am Jesus Christ. I am the Father and the Son. Ether 3:14

7. He that will not believe me will not believe the Father who sent me. For behold, I am the Father. Ether 4:12

Alma 11: How much is a Senine of gold worth?

The Law of Mosiah established a basic legal system to deal with disputes (mostly financial disputes from the sound of it). A plaintiff could bring a case to the Judges, and then the accused person would be brought to the courtroom for a trial. Pretty basic stuff.

Now if a man owed another, and he would not pay that which he did owe, he was complained of to the judge; and the judge executed authority, and sent forth officers that the man should be brought before him; and he judged the man according to the law and the evidences which were brought against him, and thus the man was compelled to pay that which he owed, or be stripped, or be cast out from among the people as a thief and a robber. 11.2

More importantly, though, was how the Judges were compensated. They were paid one "Senine"of gold per day that they spent in court trying cases.

Now it was in the law of Mosiah that every man who was a judge of the law, or those who were appointed to be judges, should receive wages according to the time which they labored to judge those who were brought before them to be judged. 11.1 

And the judge received for his wages according to his time -- a senine of gold for a day, or a senum of silver, which is equal to a senine of gold; and this is according to the law which was given. 11.3

You might be asking yourself: "Is that a fair amount? How much is a senine, really?" Good question. Luckily Joseph Smith has an answer for us.

A Senine of gold = a Senum of silver = A measure of barley (or any other grain)
A seon of gold = 2 senines of gold
A shum of gold = 2 seons of gold
A limnah of gold = the value of them all*

*Most people interpret this as a limnah being worth 1 senine + 1 seon + one shum, or 7 senines.
11.5-11.10

(Also, it's worth noting that a person could become rich very quickly speculating on the Nephite commodities market, since all crop prices were pegged to their coinage.)

And for silver they had names, too!

An amnor of silver = 2 senums
An ezrom of silver = 2 ammors
An Onti of silver = the value of them all.

And for smaller amounts they had awesome, made-up sounding names, too:

A shiblon of silver = 1/2 senum
A shiblum of silver = 1/2 shiblom
A leah of silver = 1/2 shiblum

Also, just in case we needed a unit for gold that was equal to 1.5 senines, they invented the antion of gold, which was worth 3 shibloms of silver (1.5 senums, which are equal to 1.5 senines of gold). I wish we had a 1.5 dollar bill!

Okay, good. So how much were the Judges paid, and was it a fair amount?

For an honest day's work, a Judge could be paid:

A.) 1 senine of gold
B.) 1 senum of silver
C.) 1 measure of barley
D.) 1 measure of any other grain
E.) 1/2 amnor of silver
F.) 1/4 ezrom of silver
G.) 1/7 onti of silver
H.) 2 shiblons of silver
I.) 4 shiblums of silver
J.) 8 leahs of silver
K.) 2/3 antion of gold
L.) 1/2 seon of gold
M.) 1/4 shum of gold
N.) 1/7 leah of gold

So they had plenty of options. But we still don't really have a good idea of how much these coins were worth, unless we figure out how much a "measure of barley" is. Some people have claimed that a "measure" is as much as 6 bushels. If so, then a Judge was being paid quite well for his day of work.

I suppose they could also have paid the judges with change, like 1/8 ezrom of silver and a half measure of barley, but that would have been rude with all of the other options. (None of these coins have ever been found, by the way.)

But on with the story.

You see, the judges were greedy people, and they convinced the people to file frivolous lawsuits, because they wanted more work.

Now, it was for the sole purpose to get gain, because they received their wages according to their employ, therefore, they did stir up the people to riotings, and all manner of disturbances and wickedness, that they might have more employ, that they might get money according to the suits which were brought before them; therefore they did stir up the people against Alma and Amulek. 11.20

Remember Zeezrom from the last chapter? He was the clever lawyer that was out to get Alma and Amulek. Zeezrom asked Amulek if he could ask him a few questions. Amulek agreed, and Zeezrom tried to bribe him to deny the existence of God. He offered him six onties of silver!

And this Zeezrom began to question Amulek, saying: Will ye answer me a few questions which I shall ask you? Now Zeezrom was a man who was expert in the devices of the devil, that he might destroy that which was good; therefore, he said unto Amulek: Will ye answer the questions which I shall put unto you? 11.21 

And Amulek said unto him: Yea, if it be according to the Spirit of the Lord, which is in me; for I shall say nothing which is contrary to the Spirit of the Lord. And Zeezrom said unto him: Behold, here are six onties of silver, and all these will I give thee if thou wilt deny the existence of a Supreme Being. 11.22

Amulek didn't take him up on his kind offer. Zeezrom continued to question Amulek about God, and he continued to answer him. Then he explained how everyone is going to resurrected to be judged by God.

Now Amulek said: O thou child of hell, why tempt ye me? Knowest thou that the righteous yieldeth to no such temptations? 11.23

And Zeezrom said unto him: Thou sayest there is a true and living God? 11.26 

And Amulek said: Yea, there is a true and living God. 11.27 

Now Zeezrom said unto him again: How knowest thou these things? 11.30 

And he said: An angel hath made them known unto me. 11.31

And Zeezrom said again: Shall he save his people in their sins? And Amulek answered and said unto him: I say unto you he shall not, for it is impossible for him to deny his word. 11.34

Now Zeezrom saith again unto him: Is the Son of God the very Eternal Father? 11.38

And Amulek said unto him: Yea, he is the very Eternal Father of heaven and of earth, and all things which in them are; he is the beginning and the end, the first and the last; 11.39

After this little speech, everyone was astonished, and Zeezrom trembled. And that's the end of the chapter, or at least all that he bothered to write down.

Now, when Amulek had finished these words the people began again to be astonished, and also Zeezrom began to tremble. And thus ended the words of Amulek, or this is all that I have written. 11.46

The Book of Mormon: The ultimate blogger's guide

A recent article in the Deseret News (the Salt Lake City newspaper owned by the LDS church) suggested that bloggers use the Book of Mormon as a model for blogging. And I think that's a great idea.

Here are some suggestions from the world's most perfect book, the Book of Mormon -- the "ultimate blog".

• Write all your posts in 17th century English to make them sound like scripture.

• Begin every fifth sentence or so with a meaningless phrase that hasn't been used in hundreds of years.
• Claim that your posts were inscribed on golden plates that you dug up in your backyard and translated from an ancient, nonexistent language using seer stones while looking into a hat.
• Copy a long series of  posts from another (preferably long-dead) author.
• Insult all non-white people by claiming their skin was darkened by God to punish them for being wicked; then tell them that if they repent God will make their skin "white and delightsome" again.
•  Create a new religion and then claim that all other religions were founded by the devil.
• Use a thousand words when a few would do as well.

• Tell your readers that every word that you write was personally delivered to you by an angel of the Lord.

I'm sure there's a lot more to learn from the ultimate blog, but hopefully that's enough to get you started.

Happy blogging!

The LDS church finally admits it was wrong about race. (So it now rejects its own scriptures.)

The LDS church has finally confessed. It admits that it was wrong about race from the church's beginning in 1830 until 1978 when God changed his mind about black people.

Here is what the new document "Race and the Priesthood" says about it:

Today, the Church disavows the theories advanced in the past that black skin is a sign of divine disfavor or curse ... that mixed-race marriages are a sin; or that blacks or people of any other race or ethnicity are inferior in any way to anyone else.

If that is true, then the LDS church disavows the Book of Mormon, which says that God cursed people by blackening their skin, causing them to be "a dark, filthy, and loathsome people," and that any "white and delightsome" person who "mixes seed" with them will be "cursed with the same cursing."

Here are just a few passages in the Book of Mormon that the Mormon church now disavows:

After they had dwindled in unbelief they became a dark, and loathsome, and a filthy people, full of idleness and all manner of abominations. 1 Nephi 12:23

He had caused the cursing to come upon them ... wherefore, as they were white, and exceedingly fair and delightsome, that they might not be enticing unto my people the Lord God did cause a skin of blackness to come upon them. And thus saith the Lord God: I will cause that they shall be loathsome unto thy people ... Cursed shall be the seed of him that mixeth with their seed; for they shall be cursed even with the same cursing. 2 Nephi 5:21-23

And the skins of the Lamanites were dark ...which was a curse upon them because of their transgression against their brethren...therefore they were cursed; and the Lord God set a mark upon them. And this was done that their seed might be distinguished from the seed of their brethren, that thereby the Lord God might preserve his people. Alma 3:6-8

This people ... shall become a dark, a filthy, and a loathsome people ... because of their unbelief and idolatry ... They were once a delightsome people ... But now, behold, they are led about by Satan. Mormon 5:15-18

In the document, the LDS church tries to blame its racist past on the early 19th century American culture from which it arose. It claims, for example, that it was commonly believed in the early 1800s "that God’s 'curse' on Cain was the mark of a dark skin." And that "[a]ccording to one view, which had been promulgated in the United States from at least the 1730s, blacks descended from the same lineage as the biblical Cain, who slew his brother Abel."

Which is true enough (except for the fact that there was no United States in the 1730s). But what the document doesn't say is that this same view is clearly expressed in its own scripture (The book of Moses in the Pearl of Great Price).

And Enoch also beheld the residue of the people which were the sons of Adam; and they were a mixture of all the seed of Adam save it was the seed of Cain, for the seed of Cain were black, and had not place among them. Moses 7:22 

The document also says that "[b]lack servitude was sometimes viewed as a second curse placed upon Noah’s grandson Canaan as a result of Ham’s indiscretion toward his father."

Which is true again. But it is also true that Mormon scripture says the same thing. 

There was a blackness came upon all the children of Canaan, that they were despised among all people. Moses 7:8 

Now this king of Egypt was a descendant from the loins of Ham, and was a partaker of the blood of the Canaanites by birth. ... from Ham, sprang that race which preserved the curse in the land ... Pharaoh ... seeking earnestly to imitate that order established by the fathers in the first generations, in the days of the first patriarchal reign, even in the reign of Adam, and also of Noah, his father, who blessed him with the blessings of the earth, and with the blessings of wisdom, but cursed him as pertaining to the Priesthood. Abraham 1:21-26

 So now the LDS church is no longer just embarrassed by its scriptures, it rejects them entirely.

Now it's time for all Mormons to do likewise.

Mr. Deity and the Hat

20 August 13 update: Since some of you may not have completely understood what Mr. Deity was referring to in the begging segment, I'm including his remarks about that below.

Glenn Beck cites Moroni 9 saying, "If you ever hear me mention the Book of Mormon on the air, we are at the end."

I happen to believe in another book, called the Book of Mormon, and in it at the very end, it is a story about the Americas, and it's only a story of "Watch for these things." It is really a calendar. That's all it is, a calendar. "Watch for these things and you will know what season you're in. 

Towards the very end, one of the last books, it talks about, everything is to repeat itself,  how the enemies that they were up against at that time were into cannibalism. And they were eating people as a sign of bravery and courage. And when I saw the video of, two videos, one in Russia, where the Russian rebels are eating people, the Russian drug lords are actually eating their enemies. 

Now who is tied to the Russians?  The Russians are tied to the same people in Syria. And we are also tying ourselves to the other side in Syria. And I saw the video of a soldier in the groups that we are arming stand on the battlefield and cut the chest open and take a heart, a beating heart, out of a dead body--cut him open and cut it out and eat it, and use it as courage, I thought to myself I know this calendar, I've seen this movie before. 

I warn you, we are in very dangerous times. We are living in biblical times. 

I told my staff a long time ago, when you hear me start talking about God, you'll know we're in a different DEFCON level. When you start hearing me use the words "Jesus Christ" on the air--because I know what it does to my popularity. I know what it does. And I know how it makes you into a crazy Christian kook. And I said we will be in a much different DEFCON level when I start saying "Jesus Christ" and quoting the Bible. 

If you ever hear me mention the Book of Mormon on the air, we are at the end. And I am sorry to say that I feel we are now at the place to where you better have your house in order. 

So get your house in order because Glenn Beck mentioned the Book of Mormon on the air!

But when Glenn Beck watched the cannibal videos, what Book of Mormon passage did it bring to his fervid mind? What was the movie that he had seen before? What day is it now on the Book of Mormon calendar? And what DEFCON level are we now living in?

It's all there in Moroni 9, the penultimate chapter of the last book of the Book of Mormon.

They feed the women upon the flesh of their husbands, and the children upon the flesh of their fathers...

And notwithstanding this great abomination of the Lamanites, it doth not exceed that of our people in Moriantum. For behold, many of the daughters of the Lamanites have they taken prisoners; and after depriving them of that which was most dear and precious above all things, which is chastity and virtue --

And after they had done this thing, they did murder them in a most cruel manner, torturing their bodies even unto death; and after they have done this, they devour their flesh like unto wild beasts, because of the hardness of their hearts; and they do it for a token of bravery. Moroni 9:8-10

The Lamanites killed and ate the Nephites. And the Nephites deprived the Lamanite women of "that which is most dear and precious above all things" (their virginity).

Don't you see? Everything repeats itself in the Book of Mormon. It's a calendar, just like Glenn Beck said.

The Russian rebels and the Syrian rebels are cannibals (Glenn Beck watched the movies), just like (well, sort of like, anyway) the Lamanites and the Nephites in the Book of Mormon.

So now you know. It's DEFCON 1 (nuclear war is imminent) and we're living in biblical (and Book of Mormon) times.

Today is Moroni 9 on Glenn Beck's calendar and tomorrow is Jeremiah 19:9.

Mosiah 22: The escape of the Nephites

Ammon and Lemhi decide to call a meeting of all the people. There was only one order of business: how to deliver themselves out of bondage.

And now it came to pass that Ammon and king Limhi began to consult with the people how they should deliver themselves out of bondage; and even they did cause that all the people should gather themselves together; and this they did that they might have the voice of the people concerning the matter. 22.1

After a lengthy discussion, they decided that the only option was to run away. (They tried fighting last chapter, remember?)

And it came to pass that they could find no way to deliver themselves out of bondage, except it were to take their women and children, and their flocks, and their herds, and their tents, and depart into the wilderness; for the Lamanites being so numerous, it was impossible for the people of Limhi to contend with them, thinking to deliver themselves out of bondage by the sword. 22.2

But they still needed a plan. Luckily, a man named Gideon had a great idea: to get the Lamanites drunk and escape through the back door. He explains it to us in the next 6 verses.

Now it came to pass that Gideon went forth and stood before the king, and said unto him: Now O king, thou hast hitherto hearkened unto my words many times when we have been contending with our brethren, the Lamanites. 22.3  

And now O king, if thou hast not found me to be an unprofitable servant, or if thou hast hitherto listened to my words in any degree, and they have been of service to thee, even so I desire that thou wouldst listen to my words at this time, and I will be thy servant and deliver this people out of bondage. 22.4

And the king granted unto him that he might speak. And Gideon said unto him: 22.5

Behold the back pass, through the back wall, on the back side of the city. The Lamanites, or the guards of the Lamanites, by night are drunken; therefore let us send a proclamation among all this people that they gather together their flocks and herds, that they may drive them into the wilderness by night. 22.6  

And I will go according to thy command and pay the last tribute of wine to the Lamanites, and they will be drunken; and we will pass through the secret pass on the left of their camp when they are drunken and asleep. 22.7  

Thus we will depart with our women and our children, our flocks, and our herds into the wilderness; and we will travel around the land of Shilom.  22.8

So that's what they did. King Limhi followed Gideon's plan, and everything went off without a hitch. And after many days of wandering in the wilderness, they arrived at the land of Zarahemla and joined Mosiah's people. 

And it came to pass that the king hearkened unto the words of Gideon. 22.9 

And king Limhi caused that his people should gather their flocks together; and he sent the tribute of wine to the Lamanites; and he also sent more wine, as a present unto them; and they did drink freely of the wine which king Limhi did send unto them. 22.10  

And it came to pass that the people of king Limhi did depart by night into the wilderness with their flocks and their herds, and they went round about the land of Shilom in the wilderness, and bent their course towards the land of Zarahemla, being led by Ammon and his brethren. 22.11  

And they had taken all their gold, and silver, and their precious things, which they could carry, and also their provisions with them, into the wilderness; and they pursued their journey. 22.12

And after being many days in the wilderness they arrived in the land of Zarahemla, and joined Mosiah's people, and became his subjects. 22.13  

And it came to pass that Mosiah received them with joy; and he also received their records, and also the records which had been found by the people of Limhi. 22.14

When the Lamanites woke up from their hangover, they sent out an army after the Nephites. After two days of pursuit, the army gets lost in the wilderness. 

And now it came to pass when the Lamanites had found that the people of Limhi had departed out of the land by night, that they sent an army into the wilderness to pursue them; 22.15  

And after they had pursued them two days, they could no longer follow their tracks; therefore they were lost in the wilderness. 22.16

If I was etching this story onto brass plates, I probably would have paraphrased Mosiah 22 like this:

THE NEPHITES GOT THE LAMANITES DRUNK AND LEFT OUT THE BACK DOOR

But that's just lazy. 

Mosiah 20: Stolen Daughters

In case you missed it, A lot changed last chapter.  Limhi is now king, but he is under the rule of the Lamanites, and has to pay them an enormous tribute (1/2 of all their possessions and earnings). Everything was going well for two years, without anyone getting molested or anything! (which is pretty good for the Book of Mormon.)

But I'll get on with the story.

The daughters of the Lamanites liked to gather and sing and dance in this secret place near Shemlon. One day, when there were only a few of them, the evil priests of King Noah kidnapped them and carried 24 of them into the wilderness.  (I don't know how many priests there were, but this must have been quite the operation)

Now there was a place in Shemlon where the daughters of the Lamanites did gather themselves together to sing, and to dance, and to make themselves merry. 20:1 

And it came to pass that there was one day a small number of them gathered together to sing and to dance. 20:2 

And now the priests of king Noah ... came forth out of their secret places and took them and carried them into the wilderness; yea, twenty and four of the daughters of the Lamanites they carried into the wilderness 20:3-5

The Lamanites suspected that the people of Limhi stole their daughters, so their king prepared the army for a real Helen-of-Troy sort of situation.  They sent their army, and they fought like lions.

And it came to pass that the battle became exceedingly sore, for they fought like lions for their prey. 20:10

But the people of Limhi fought like dragons.  They were outnumbered 2-to-1, but everyone knows that a good dragon is worth at least 3-4 lions. (I'm guessing that the battle went something like this)

And it came to pass that the people of Limhi began to drive the Lamanites before them; yet they were not half so numerous as the Lamanites. But they fought for their lives, and for their wives, and for their children; therefore they exerted themselves and like dragons did they fight. 20:11

 In the battle, the Lamanite king was badly wounded. Limhi's soldiers took him captive, and brought him before King Limhi.

And they took him and bound up his wounds, and brought him before Limhi, and said: Behold, here is the king of the Lamanites; he having received a wound has fallen among their dead, and they have left him; and behold, we have brought him before you; and now let us slay him. 20:13 

Limhi doesn't kill him, and instead has a chat with him.

Limhi:                 Why are we fighting, anyways?
Lamanite King:   You stole our daughters!
Limhi:                 Oh! Sorry about that. I'll find and kill whoever took them.
Lamanite King:    Sounds good. Sorry about the war and everything.
Limhi:                  No problem. It had been a little while since our last war anyways.

But Limhi said unto them: Ye shall not slay him, but bring him hither that I may see him. And they brought him. And Limhi said unto him: What cause have ye to come up to war against my people? Behold, my people have not broken the oath that I made unto you; therefore, why should ye break the oath which ye made unto my people? 20:14 

And now the king said: I have broken the oath because thy people did carry away the daughters of my people; therefore, in my anger I did cause my people to come up to war against thy people. 20:15  

And now Limhi had heard nothing concerning this matter; therefore he said: I will search among my people and whosoever has done this thing shall perish. Therefore he caused a search to be made among his people. 20:16 

But before the search began, Gideon convinced him out of it.  He reminded Limhi of Noah's creepy priests, and he explained how they probably stole the Lamanite's daughters.

Now when Gideon had heard these things, he being the king's captain, he went forth and said unto the king: I pray thee forbear, and do not search this people, and lay not this thing to their charge. 20.17  

For do ye not remember the priests of thy father, whom this people sought to destroy? And are they not in the wilderness? And are not they the ones who have stolen the daughters of the Lamanites? 20.18

 So Limhi explained Gideon's theory to the Lamanite King.

And now Limhi told the king all the things concerning his father, and the priests that had fled into the wilderness, and attributed the carrying away of their daughters to them. 20.23

The Lamanite king and Limhi were shockingly diplomatic towards one another, considering they were at war. They make peace, and the chapter ends.

Mosiah 16-17: The end of Abinadi

Chapter 16 wraps up Abinadi's speech, and thankfully, it's the last we'll have to hear from him  He continues with the usual threats (but this time quoting language from Matthew 22:13):

And then shall the wicked be cast out, and they shall have cause to howl, and weep, and wail, and gnash their teeth; and this because they would not hearken unto the voice of the Lord; therefore the Lord redeemeth them not. 16:2 

But there will also be rewards for the righteous:

If they be good, to the resurrection of endless life and happiness; and if they be evil, to the resurrection of endless damnation, being delivered up to the devil, who hath subjected them, which is damnation -- 16:11 

And, one last time, he calls for the sinners to repent (or at least tremble):

And now, ought ye not to tremble and repent of your sins, and remember that only in and through Christ ye can be saved? 16:13 

King Noah doesn't listen. Instead, it came to pass that he commanded his priests to kill Abinadi.

 And now it came to pass that when Abinadi had finished these sayings, that the king commanded that the priests should take him and cause that he should be put to death. 17:1 

But his words were not spoken in vain. There was at least one who heard him. He was a descendant of Nephi, and his name was Alma.

But there was one among them whose name was Alma, he also being a descendant of Nephi. And he was a young man, and he believed the words which Abinadi had spoken, for he knew concerning the iniquity which Abinadi has testified against them; therefore he began to plead with the king that he would not be angry with Abinadi, but suffer that he might depart in peace.  17:2 

But King Noah's mind was made up. He was going to kill Abinadi, and now he was going to kill Alma, too.

But the king was more wroth, and caused that Alma should be cast out from among them, and sent his servants after him that they might slay him.17:3 

But Alma got away from Noah's priests, and he hid in the woods for a few days. Noah threw Abinadi in prison, and then brought him out to hear his sentence: Death. Abinadi held to his words, and threatens Noah one more time.

Now Abinadi said unto him: I say unto you, I will not recall the words which I have spoken unto you concerning this people, for they are true; and that ye may know of their surety I have suffered myself that I have fallen into your hands. 17:9  

Yea, and I will suffer even until death, and I will not recall my words, and they shall stand as a testimony against you. And if ye slay me ye will shed innocent blood, and this shall also stand as a testimony against you at the last day. 17:10 

This almost scares King Noah enough to release Abinadi.  But then his priests goad him on, and he is forced to burn Abinadi to death.  That's how it goes sometimes.

And now king Noah was about to release him, for he feared his word; for he feared that the judgments of God would come upon him.17:11   

But the priests lifted up their voices against him, and began to accuse him, saying: He has reviled the king. Therefore the king was stirred up in anger against him, and he delivered him up that he might be slain.17:12  

And it came to pass that they took him and bound him, and scourged his skin with faggots, yea, even unto death. 17:13

While he was burning, he cursed them pretty good.  He covers all of his the basics: they will be burned, afflicted with disease, hunted by their enemies...

 Ye shall be afflicted with all manner of diseases because of your iniquities. 17:16

Ye shall be hunted, and ye shall be taken by the hand of your enemies, and then ye shall suffer, as I suffer, the pains of death by fire. 17:18

Thus God executeth vengeance upon those that destroy his people. O God, receive my soul. 17:19 

So Abinadi died, sealing the truth of his words by his death.  (Don't worry, it didn't make sense to me, either)

And now, when Abinadi had said these words, he fell, having suffered death by fire; yea, having been put to death because he would not deny the commandments of God, having sealed the truth of his words by his death. 17:20

Mosiah 15: O, how beautiful upon the mountains are their feet!

In Mosiah 15, Abinadi continues his speech.  He's done quoting Isaiah, and now he's getting to the important bit about Jesus and God, who are the same guy as it turns out.  Here we go:

Abinadi said unto them: I would that ye should understand that God himself shall come down among the children of men, and shall redeem his people. 15:1  

And because he dwelleth in flesh he shall be called the Son of God, and having subjected the flesh to the will of the Father, being the Father and the Son. 15:2

The Father, because he was conceived by the power of God; and the Son, because of the flesh; thus becoming the Father and Son 15:3

And they are one God, yea, the very Eternal Father of heaven and of earth. 15:4

And thus the flesh becoming subject to the Spirit, or the Son to the Father, being one God... 15:5

In case you didn't get enough Isaiah last chapter, Abinadi has sprinkled some more of this wise book into his speech:

 And these are they who have published peace, who have brought good tidings of good, who have published salvation; and said unto Zion: Thy God reigneth!15:14

And now he starts talking about the folks who are spreading the word about God.  They must have had some nice feet, because he just can't stop talking about it.

 And O how beautiful upon the mountains were their feet! 15:15 

Lets hear it once more!  (In case you missed it) 

And again, how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of those that are still publishing peace! 15:16 

One more time, with feeling!

And again, how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of those who shall hereafter publish peace, yea, from this time henceforth and forever! 15:17 

But wait!  That's not all!  

And behold, I say unto you, this is not all. For O how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that is the founder of peace, yea, even the Lord, who has redeemed his people; yea, him who has granted salvation unto his people. 15:18

One day, everyone on the planet will have heard the teachings of the Mormons. (This is why they have so many missionaries out there...)    

And now I say unto you that the time shall come that the salvation of the Lord shall be declared to every nation, kindred, tongue, and people. 15:28

Then he finishes up the chapter with a few more quotes from Isaiah 52:

Yea, Lord, thy watchmen shall lift up their voice; with the voice together shall they sing; for they shall see eye to eye, when the Lord shall bring again Zion. 15:29

Break forth into joy, sing together, ye waste places of Jerusalem; for the Lord hath comforted his people, he hath redeemed Jerusalem. 15:30

The Lord hath made bare his holy arm in the eyes of all the nations; and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God. 15:31

Mosiah 14: A Complete Waste of a Golden Plate

In the last chapter, Mosiah 13, Abinadi was busy lecturing Noah and his priests about the 10 Commandments.  Without explanation, he starts quoting his favorite book of the bible, Isaiah (chapter 53).
I would call it plagiarism, but he did cite his source.

Yea, even doth not Isaiah say: Who hath believed our report, and to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed? 4.1

Mosiah must have had a pretty good memory, though, to directly quote the King James Version of the Bible (Which wouldn't be translated for another 1,700+ years...)

So after this speech was written on plates, Joseph Smith did a pretty good job translating it, since it is a word-for-word duplicate of the King James Version of Isaiah 53.  (Not to mention the fact that the translators of the KJV were 100% accurate).  To translate so accurately, Joseph Smith must have had a pretty good knowledge of reformed Egyptian.  I don't know that much about it, mainly because it doesn't exist.

Here's the rest of Mosiah 14 (or Isaiah 53) in case anyone out there is interested or suffering from insomnia and needs to be put to sleep.

For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of dry ground; he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him there is no beauty that we should desire him.
14:2 

He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. 14.3 

Surely he has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows; yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. 14:4

But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. 14:5

All we, like sheep, have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquities of us all. 14:6

He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb so he opened not his mouth. 14:7

He was taken from prison and from judgment; and who shall declare his generation? For he was cut off out of the land of the living; for the transgressions of my people was he stricken. 14:8

And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no evil, neither was any deceit in his mouth. 14:9

Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief; when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand. 14:10

He shall see the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied; by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities. 14:11

Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death; and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bore the sins of many, and made intercession for the transgressors. 14:12

If you made it this far, you might be saying to yourself, "Sounds like he's talking about Jesus!"  Well, you're not the first one.  Christian apologists often claim that Isaiah is talking about Jesus here, but Jewish people think he is actually talking about Israel.

Either way, it seems strangely out of place in the middle of Abinadi's speech.

A Jefferson Bible for the Twenty-first Century

The American Humanist Association has just published a new book -- A Jefferson Bible for the Twenty-first Century. It includes the entire text of the original "Jefferson Bible," along with lists of the best and the worst passages from the Gospels, Hebrew scriptures, Book of Mormon, Quran, the Bhagavadgita, and Buddhist sutras.

Thomas Jefferson created "The Jefferson Bible" (or, as he called it, "The Life and Morals of Jesus of Nazareth") by cutting the best verses of the gospels and pasting them into one coherent story. He removed all of the miracles and traces of the supernatural, including the virgin birth and resurrection, and only included the best teachings of Jesus, leaving behind the more nasty stuff. Here is how he described it:

I have performed this operation for my own use, by cutting verse by verse out of the printed book, and arranging the matter which is evidently his [Jesus's], and which is as easily distinguishable as diamonds in a dunghill. The result is an octavo of forty-six pages, of pure and unsophisticated doctrines.

The AHA's new book is well worth the price for its inclusion of the Jefferson Bible alone. And the lists of the best and worst in each of the (supposedly) holy books are extremely useful.

I was, however, a bit disappointed by the lists. They were quite short (3 or 4 pages in each list) and they seemed to leave out many verses that should have been included, and to include many that should have been left out

Of course, lists of this nature are necessarily subjective; what seems bad to one person may seem good to another. Still, there are thousands of bad verses in the Bible and hundreds of good ones (with similar, though somewhat smaller, numbers for the Quran and Book of Mormon). So it seems to me that three dozen or so of the "best" (or "worst") verses should, at the very least, seem good (or bad) to everyone.

Here, for example, are some of the book's more questionable "best" and "worst" selections from the Bible, Quran, and Book of Mormon.

The worst from the gospels?

John answered and said, A man can receive nothing except it be given him from heaven. John 3:27  (OK, this verse is absurd. But is it one of the worst?)

The best of the Hebrew Bible?

The first five passages in the "Best of the Hebrew Bible" are from Genesis (13:8; 18:22-25; 33:3-4, 8-11; 39:7-9; 50:18-21). I don't see much good in them (or anything else in Genesis, for that matter).

And Moses chose able men out of all Israel, and made them heads over the people, rulers of thousands, rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens. And they judged the people at all seasons: the hard causes they brought unto Moses, but every small matter they judged themselves. Exodus 18:25-26 (That's nice, but is it that nice?)

The worst of the Hebrew Bible?

Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard. Leviticus 19:27

Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together. Deuteronomy 22:11

(OK, these are silly rules, but  do they belong on the top 40 list of worst passages in the Old Testament?) 

The best of the Quran? (I guess these are good. I'll take their word for it.)

And let not thy hand be chained to thy neck nor open it with a complete opening, lest thou sit down rebuked, denuded. 17:29

Lo! with hardship goeth ease. 94:6

The worst of the Quran? (The AHA made a good selection here. Of course, there is a lot to choose from.)

The best of the Book of Mormon?

Now, he says that the Lord has talked with him, and also that angels have ministered unto him. But behold, we know that he lies unto us; and he tells us these things, and he worketh many things by his cunning arts, that he may deceive our eyes, thinking, perhaps, that he may lead us away into some strange wilderness; and after he has led us away, he has thought to make himself a king and a ruler over us, that he may do with us according to his will and pleasure. And after this manner did my brother Laman stir up their hearts to anger. 1 Nephi 16:38

Now it is not common that the voice of the people desireth anything contrary to that which is right; but it is common for the lesser part of the people to desire that which is not right; therefore this shall ye observe and make it your law -- to do your business by the voice of the people. Mosiah 29:26

For as their laws and their governments were established by the voice of the people, and they who chose evil were more numerous than they who chose good, therefore they were ripening for destruction, for the laws had become corrupted. Helaman 5:2

The worst of the Book of Mormon?

Cease ye from man, whose breath is in his nostrils; for wherein is he to be accounted of? 2 Nephi 12:22

What, do ye suppose that mercy can rob justice? I say unto you, Nay; not one whit. If so, God would cease to be God. Alma 42:25

O how great is the nothingness of the children of men; yea, even they are less than the dust of the earth. Helaman 12:7

Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? 3 Nephi 13:27

Still, the lists in the book were useful to me, since there were quite a few verses that I hadn't yet marked in the SAB. And while they wouldn't make my best and worst lists, they they are worth highlighting, and I have since done so.

Here are the new additions to the SAB that I found in the book:

Bad stuff in the gospels:

John answered and said, A man can receive nothing except it be given him from heaven. John 3:27

Every plant, which my heavenly Father hath not planted, shall be rooted up. Matthew 15:13

Good stuff the Hebrew Bible:

If thy brother be waxen poor, and fallen in decay with thee; then thou shalt relieve him: yea, though he be a stranger, or a sojourner; that he may live with thee. Leviticus 25:35

Cursed be he that perverteth the judgment of the stranger, fatherless, and widow. And all the people shall say, Amen. Deuteronomy 27:18

Cursed be he that perverteth the judgment of the stranger, fatherless, and widow. And all the people shall say, Amen. Deuteronomy 27:19

The path of the just is as the shining light. Psalm 4:18

Fools die for want of wisdom. Proverbs 10:21

There is that maketh himself rich, yet hath nothing: there is that maketh himself poor, yet hath great riches. Proverbs 13:7

Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay. Ecclesiastes 5:5

Bad stuff in the Hebrew Bible:

Of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it. Genesis 2:17

Bad stuff in the Quran:

Make not Allah, by your oaths, a hindrance to ... making peace among mankind. 2:224

If the debtor is in straitened circumstances, then (let there be) postponement to (the time of) ease. 2:280 

Good stuff in the Book of Mormon:

Teach them to never be weary of good works. Alma 37:34

See that ye are not lifted up unto pride; yea, see that ye do not boast in your own wisdom, nor of your much strength. Alma 38:11 

Ye should do alms unto the poor; but take heed that ye do not your alms before men to be seen of them ... ye shall do your alms do not sound a trumpet before you. 3 Nephi 13:1-2

Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them. 3 Nephi 14:12

Why do ye ... suffer the hungry, and the needy, and the naked, and the sick and the afflicted to pass by you, and notice them not? Mormon 8:39

Bad stuff in the Book of Mormon:

For I say unto you that whatsoever is good cometh from God, and whatsoever is evil cometh from the devil. Alma 5:40

Alma cried unto the Lord, saying: O Lord our God, have mercy on this man, and heal him according to his faith which is in Christ. And when Alma had said these words, Zeezrom leaped upon his feet, and began to walk. Alma 15:10-11

On the whole, it's an interesting book that would be a useful addition to anyone's library.

---

10 Jan 13 update: The American Humanist Association is sending a copy of this book to President Obama and all 535 members of Congress.

17 Jan 13: Todd Stiefel President of the Stiefel Freethought Foundation discusses "A Jefferson Bible for the Twenty-First Century."
Also available at the Apple book store

Mosiah 12-13: Abinadi's Trial

Chapter 12 starts out telling us that Abinadi has somehow managed to remain hidden from Noah's guards for 2 years, and and then he came back in disguise, to prophesy again to the people. He blew his cover awfully quick, though.  He quoted the Lord, and unfortunately the Lord used his name directly.  (Shoot!  I put on a fake mustache and everything!)

And it came to pass that after the space of two years that Abinadi came among them in disguise, that they knew him not, and began to prophesy among them, saying: Thus has the Lord commanded me, saying -- Abinadi, go and prophesy unto this my people, for they have hardened their hearts against my words. 12:1

Abinadi says that the Lord says that "this generation" will be killed and their dead bodies fed to the vultures, dogs, and wild beasts. God will strap loads on their backs like they were a bunch of dumb asses, make them howl all day long, send hail to smite them and insects to pester them, and then he'll kill them all with disease and starvation. When God gets done with them there will be nothing left but the "record they shall leave behind them" (written on golden or brass plates, no doubt).

Thus saith the Lord, it shall come to pass that this generation ... shall be slain; and the vultures of the air, and the dogs, yea, and the wild beasts, shall devour their flesh. 12:2

And it shall come to pass that I will smite this my people with sore afflictions, yea, with famine and with pestilence; and I will cause that they shall howl all the day long. 12:4 

I will cause that they shall have burdens lashed upon their backs; and they shall be driven before like a dumb ass. 12:5

I will send forth hail among them ... and insects shall pester their land also, and devour their grain. 12:6

I will utterly destroy them from off the face of the earth; yet they shall leave a record behind them. ... And many things did Abinadi prophesy against this people. 12:8

They brought Abinabi to King Noah and told him what Abinabi said that the Lord said about him: that he was like a burning garment, a dry stalk that is trampled on by beasts, and (worst of all) like the blossoms of the thistle.

And it came to pass that they were angry with him; and they took him and carried him bound before the king, and said unto the king: Behold, we have brought a man before thee who has prophesied evil concerning thy people, and saith that God will destroy them. 12:9

He also ... saith that thy life shall be as a garment in a furnace of fire. 12:10

He saith that thou shalt be ... a dry stalk of the field, which is run over by the beasts and trodden under foot. 12:11

He saith thou shalt be as the blossoms of a thistle. 12:12

When King Noah heard about Abinadi's prophesying, he threw Abinadi in prison and called his priests to a meeting to decide what to do with him.

 And it came to pass that king Noah caused that Abinadi should be cast into prison; and he commanded that the priests should gather themselves together that he might hold a council with them what he should do with him. 12:17 

The priests started interrogating Abinadi, but somehow he managed to start asking the questions.

And now Abinadi said unto them: Are you priests, and pretend to teach this people, and to understand the spirit of prophesying, and yet desire to know of me what these things mean?12:25 

Therefore, what teach ye this people? 12:27

They try to defend themselves, but Abinadi is too clever for them.  He pioneers the argument tactic of calling your opponent a whore, insisting that you are right, and then quoting the bible.  People have been using it ever since.  

And they said: We teach the law of Moses. 12:28  

And again he said unto them: If ye teach the law of Moses why do ye not keep it? Why do ye set your hearts upon riches? Why do ye commit whoredoms and spend your strength with harlots, yea, and cause this people to commit sin, that the Lord has cause to send me to prophesy against this people, yea, even a great evil against this people? 12:29

 Ye know that I speak the truth; and you ought to tremble before God. 12:30

Thou shalt have no other God before me.12:35

Now Abinadi said unto them, Have ye done all this? I say unto you, Nay, ye have not. And have ye taught this people that they should do all these things? I say unto you, Nay, ye have not. 12:37 

---

Just in case you want the DVD version.

---

Mosiah 13

Noah is getting sick of Abinadi's preaching.  He orders his men to grab Abinadi, but they can't.  Apparently God will smite them if they do.

And they stood forth and attempted to lay their hands on him; but he withstood them, and said unto them: 13:2 

Touch me not, for God shall smite you if ye lay your hands upon me. 13:3 

So it looks like they are stuck listening to him, and so are we.  He finishes going through the 10 commandments, and rambles on about all of the usual stuff: stiffnecked people, salvation, the coming of the Lord.

The most notable part of his speech is when he talks about the law of Moses.  He says that we should keep with the law of Moses for now, but there will come a time when we will need to abandon it.  Also, salvation doesn't come simply from following the Law of Moses.  There's more to it than that.

And now ye have said that salvation cometh by the law of Moses. I say unto you that it is expedient that ye should keep the law of Moses as yet; but I say unto you, that the time shall come when it shall no more be expedient to keep the law of Moses. 13:27   

And moreover, I say unto you, that salvation doth not come by the law alone; and were it not for the atonement, which God himself shall make for the sins and iniquities of his people, that they must unavoidably perish, notwithstanding the law of Moses. 13:28 

---

The next chapter is straight out of Isaiah, but after that we have more of Abinadi's riveting speech. Until then!

Mosiah 2-6: The King's Speech

In the last chapter, King Benjamin waxed old, selected his son Mosiah to succeed him, and gathered all of his subjects to hear his speech so he could rid his garments of their blood.

And it came to pass that after Mosiah had done as his father had commanded him, and had made a proclamation throughout all the land, that the people gathered themselves together throughout all the land, that they might go up to the temple to hear the words which king Benjamin should speak unto them. Mosiah 2:1

I say unto you that I have caused that ye should assemble yourselves together that I might rid my garments of your blood. 2:28

But there were just too many of them. They had multiplied exceedingly. There were so many, in fact, that they couldn't be numbered or fit in the temple, so a tower had to be erected so that everyone could hear King Benjamin's exceedingly boring speech.

There were a great number, even so many that they did not number them; for they had multiplied exceedingly and waxed great in the land. 2:2

For the multitude being so great that king Benjamin could not teach them all within the walls of the temple, therefore he caused a tower to be erected, that thereby his people might hear the words which he should speak unto them. 2:7

Mosiah goes on for five chapters, saying all the usual stuff: Jesus is coming and everyone must pre-believe in him or be tortured forever in hell.

If he ... dieth in his sins, the same drinketh damnation to his own soul; for he receiveth for his wages an everlasting punishment. 2:33

Mercy hath no claim on that man; therefore his final doom is to endure a never-ending torment. 2:39

A state of misery and endless torment, from whence they can no more return; therefore they have drunk damnation to their own souls. 3:25

Their torment is as a lake of fire and brimstone, whose flames are unquenchable, and whose smoke ascendeth up forever and ever. 3:27

And Mosiah isn't just making stuff up. An angel of the Lord visited him and told him all about Jesus (who would be born in another 120 years or so). This is the umpteenth time Jesus is prophesied in great detail in the Book of Mormon. It's almost as though the whole thing was written using language that mimicked the King James Version of the Bible by someone living in nineteenth century America.

But we do learn a few new things about Jesus.

He will suffer so much that blood will come out of every pore of his body. And he is not only the Son of God, he is also the Father of heaven and earth.

The things which I shall tell you are made known unto me by an angel from God. And he said unto me: Awake; and I awoke, and behold he stood before me. 3:2

For behold, the time cometh, and is not far distant, that ... the Lord Omnipotent ... shall come down from heaven among the children of men. 3:5

He shall cast out devils, or the evil spirits which dwell in the hearts of the children of men. 3:6

And lo, he shall suffer ... blood cometh from every pore. 3:7

He shall be called Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Father of heaven and earth ... and his mother shall be called Mary. 3:8

When King Benjamin quit speaking, everyone in Zarahemla fell down.

And now, it came to pass that when king Benjamin had made an end of speaking the words which had been delivered unto him by the angel of the Lord, that he cast his eyes round about on the multitude, and behold they had fallen to the earth, for the fear of the Lord had come upon them. 4:1

And they all spoke in unison the following words:

O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who created heaven and earth, and all things; who shall come down among the children of men. 4:2

When the crowd was finished with their speech, the king started speaking again.

And king Benjamin again opened his mouth and began to speak unto them, saying......... 4:4-30

After King Benjamin's speech, he sent his officials out to ask the people if they believed the stuff he told them.

It came to pass that when king Benjamin had thus spoken to his people, he sent among them, desiring to know of his people if they believed the words which he had spoken unto them. 5:1

He didn't need Nate Silver to do the analysis.

Everyone believed everything he said and they all cried out together, "Yea, we believe all the words which thou hast spoken to us...."

And they all cried with one voice, saying: Yea, we believe all the words which thou hast spoken unto us; and also, we know of their surety and truth, because of the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually. 5:2

And we, ourselves, also, through the infinite goodness of God, and the manifestations of his Spirit, have great views of that which is to come; and were it expedient, we could prophesy of all things. 5:3

And it is the faith which we have had on the things which our king has spoken unto us that has brought us to this great knowledge, whereby we do rejoice with such exceedingly great joy. 5:4

And we are willing to enter into a covenant with our God to do his will, and to be obedient to his commandments in all things that he shall command us, all the remainder of our days, that we may not bring upon ourselves a never-ending torment, as has been spoken by the angel, that we may not drink out of the cup of the wrath of God. 5:5

And, by golly, those were just the words King Benjamin hoped they'd say!

These are the words which king Benjamin desired of them. 5:6

Then King Benjamin broke into one of his boring speeches again.

And now, because of the covenant which ye have made ye shall be called the children of Christ........ 5:7-15

After King Benjamin finally finished speaking (God, I hope he's really done this time), he decided to make a list of all the born-again Christians. It turned out that everyone had been saved, except for maybe the little children -- 120 years before Jesus was born!

King Benjamin thought it was expedient, after having finished speaking to the people, that he should take the names of all those who had entered into a covenant with God. 6:1

And it came to pass that there was not one soul, except it were little children, but who had entered into the covenant and had taken upon them the name of Christ. 6:2

Benjamin made his son Mosiah king and appointed priests to instruct the people. Mosiah walked in the ways of the Lord and everything was peachy in Zarahemla, just like it was when his dad was king.

King Benjamin ... consecrated his son Mosiah to be a ruler and a king ... and also had appointed priests to teach the people." 6:3

And it came to pass that king Mosiah did walk in the ways of the Lord, and did observe his judgments and his statutes, and did keep his commandments in all things whatsoever he commanded him. 6:6

And there was no contention among all his people for the space of three years. 6:7

Mosiah 1: King Benjamin teaches his sons Reformed Egyptian

Remember how, back in the Book of Omni, the Nephites discovered the land of Zarahemla while fleeing from the evil Lamanites? Well, that's where the Book of Mosiah takes place between 130 and 92 BCE (except for a flashback to 200 BCE in chapters 9-22, which I'll cover in a later post).

King Benjamin was the son of the Mosiah from the Book of Omni. He was a perfect king and the land of Zarahemla was perfectly peaceful and happy during his entire reign.

And now there was no more contention in all the land of Zarahemla, among all the people who belonged to king Benjamin, so that king Benjamin had continual peace all the remainder of his days. Mosiah 1:1

Benjamin taught his sons Reformed Egyptian so they could read the brass plates. Good thing, too -- otherwise they'd suffer ignorance and dwindle in unbelief.

King Benjamin ... had three sons ... Mosiah, and Helorum, and Helaman. And he caused that they should be taught in all the language of his fathers. 1:1-2

And he also taught them concerning the records which were engraven on the plates of brass, saying: My sons ... were it not for these plates ... we must have suffered in ignorance. 1:3

Lehi ... having been taught in the language of the Egyptians. 1:4

Were it not for these things ... our fathers would have dwindled in unbelief. 1:5

The king told his sons that all the sayings, records, and  plates are true, along with lots of other true stuff that didn't make it into the Book of Mosiah.

These sayings are true, and also that these records are true. And behold, also the plates of Nephi ... are true. ... And many more things did king Benjamin teach his sons, which are not written in this book. 1:6-8

Then it came to pass that the king waxed old, made an end of teaching his sons, and got ready to go the way of all the earth. So he figured he'd better choose one of his sons to succeed him.

And it came to pass that after king Benjamin had made an end of teaching his sons, that he waxed old, and he saw that he must very soon go the way of all the earth; therefore, he thought it expedient that he should confer the kingdom upon one of his sons. 1:9

He chose Mosiah. (Just to confuse you, Mosiah's grandfather was also named Mosiah.)

Therefore, he had Mosiah brought before him. 1:10

And gave him all his special things: the plates of Nephi, the sword of Laban (that Nephi used to decapitate Laban), and the magic ball of curious workmanship that was made by God himself.

And it came to pass that ... king Benjamin gave him ... the plates of Nephi; and also, the sword of Laban, and the ball or director, which led our fathers through the wilderness, which was prepared by the hand of the Lord. 1:15-16

Then the king called everyone in his kingdom to hear his speech, which I'll tell you about in my next post.

Words of Mormon - whispered by the Spirit of the Lord to Mormon Jr.

"Words of Mormon" is a single-chapter, 18-verse "book" in the Book of Mormon. It was engraved on golden plates by a Mormon prophet named Mormon (whose father was also named Mormon) about 385 CE. Mormon Jr. entrusted the golden plates to his son Moroni, who buried them on a hill in what is now Wayne County, New York. 1400 years later, after being resurrected as an angel, Moroni delivered the golden plates to Joseph Smith.

And now I, Mormon, being about to deliver up the record which I have been making into the hands of my son Moroni ... many hundred years after the coming of Christ. Words of Mormon 1

Mormon found and abridged the plates of Nephi, which were written over a period of about 1000 years. He wrote down less than one percent of all the stuff that was written, for which we should all be grateful. What he wrote he thinks is choice; he wrote it while the Spirit of the Lord whispered to him. And he knows it will be preserved because it's such great stuff.

I speak somewhat concerning that which I have written; for after I had made an abridgment from the plates of Nephi ... I found these plates. v.3

I cannot write the hundredth part of the things of my people. v.5

Behold, I shall take these plates ... for they are choice unto me; and I know they will be choice unto my brethren. v.6

I do this for a wise purpose; for thus it whispereth me, according to the workings of the Spirit of the Lord which is in me. v.7

I know that they will be preserved; for there are great things written upon them. v.11

Mormon prays that the Nephites will once again become a delightsome people.

My prayer to God is concerning my brethren ... that they may once again be a delightsome people. v.9

And I guess his prayer was answered since God helped the white and delightsome Nephites kill "many thousands" of evil, dark-skinned Lamanites.

In the strength of the Lord ... they had slain many thousands of the Lamanites ... until they had driven them out of all the lands of their inheritance. v.14

But not all the Nephites were delightsome; there were lots of false Christs, false prophets and teachers, whose mouths had to be shut and who were punished according to their crimes. (Were they executed as required by Deuteronomy 18:20?)

There had been false Christs, and their mouths had been shut, and they punished according to their crimes. v.15

And after there had been false prophets, and false preachers and teachers among the people, and all these having been punished according to their crimes. v.16

Luckily, though, King Benjamin was holy, and there were many other holy men, and the holy men used much sharpness against the sticknecked people.

For behold, king Benjamin was a holy man ... and there were many holy men ... and they did use much sharpness because of the stiffneckedness of the people. v.17

So everything worked out well in the end and there was peace in the land.

Wherefore, with the help of these, king Benjamin, by laboring with all the might of his body and the faculty of his whole soul, and also the prophets, did once more establish peace in the land. v.18 

And that's all the Spirit of the Lord whispered to Mormon Jr.

The Book of Omni: The Nephites discover the Mulekites and Jaredites (who also sailed from Israel to America)

The Book of Omni gets off to a great start for a book in the Book of Mormon with the words "Behold, it came to pass" but it goes downhill quickly from there. The purpose of Omni's little book is the same as the purpose of his father's book (the Book of  Jarom) -- to preserve their genealogy. Exciting stuff.

Behold, it came to pass that I, Omni, being commanded by my father, Jarom, that I should write somewhat upon these plates, to preserve our genealogy. Omni 1

It turns out that Omni's little book wasn't written by Omni, at least most of it wasn't. Omni only wrote the first three verses, from which we learn the following things: Omni fought a lot with Lamanites, he was a wicked man, and he had a son named Amaron, who received the plates from Omni when he died.

I fought much with the sword to preserve my people, the Nephites, from falling into the hands of their enemies, the Lamanites. But behold, I of myself am a wicked man ... and I had kept these plates according to the commandments of my fathers; and I conferred them upon my son Amaron. And I make an end. 2-3

Amaron was a bit more prolific than his father, writing five verses. From them we learn that after 320 years the more wicked part of the Nephites were destroyed, but the Lord saved the righteous ones. Then Amaron passed the plates to his brother Chemish.

And now I, Amaron, write the things whatsoever I write, which are few, in the book of my father. Behold, it came to pass that three hundred and twenty years had passed away, and the more wicked part of the Nephites were destroyed. ... Nevertheless, he did spare the righteous that they should not perish, but did deliver them out of the hands of their enemies. And it came to pass that I did deliver the plates unto my brother Chemish. 4-8

Chemish wrote a few things in a single verse in the same book, from which we learn that his brother Amaron wrote what he wrote with his own hand (not somebody else's) and he wrote his five verses in a single day, after the manner that the Nephites kept there records, according to the commandments of their fathers.

And with that, Chemish made an end.

Now I, Chemish, write what few things I write, in the same book with my brother; for behold, I saw the last which he wrote, that he wrote it with his own hand; and he wrote it in the day that he delivered them unto me. And after this manner we keep the records, for it is according to the commandments of our fathers. And I make an end. 9

After Chemish made an end, his son Abinadom took over. Abinadom wrote two verses with three beholds, saying that he killed many Lamanites with his own sword. But he didn't know of any new revelations, "wherefore, that which is sufficient is written."

Behold, I, Abinadom, am the son of Chemish. Behold, it came to pass that I saw much war and contention between my people, the Nephites, and the Lamanites; and I, with my own sword, have taken the lives of many of the Lamanites in the defence of my brethren. And behold, the record of this people is engraven upon plates which is had by the kings, according to the generations; and I know of no revelation save that which has been written, neither prophecy; wherefore, that which is sufficient is written. And I make an end. 10-11

After Abinadom's end, his son Amaleki took over. He spoke somewhat concerning Mosiah, the king of Zarahemla, which was a new land that the Nephites discovered while fleeing from the evil Lamanites.

Behold, I am Amaleki, the son of Abinadom. Behold, I will speak unto you somewhat concerning Mosiah, who was made king over the land of Zarahemla; for behold, he being warned of the Lord that he should flee out of the land of Nephi ... into the wilderness ... until they came down into the land which is called the land of Zarahemla. 12-13

When the Nephites arrived in Zarahemla, they found the land already inhabited by the people of Zarahemla, who rejoiced exceedingly when they saw the Nephites because they had the plates of brass with the genealogies of the Jews.

And they discovered a people, who were called the people of Zarahemla. Now, there was great rejoicing among the people of Zarahemla; and also Zarahemla did rejoice exceedingly, because the Lord had sent the people of Mosiah with the plates of brass which contained the record of the Jews. 14

Now you might be wondering where these mysterious people of Zarahemla came from. It turns out that they were also long lost Israelites  That's right! They were seafaring Jews that, with God's help, sailed over "the great waters" from Israel after it was attacked by Babylon in 586 BCE. (The people of Zarahemla are called "Mulekites" later in the Book of Mormon. See Helaman 6:10)

Behold, it came to pass that Mosiah discovered that the people of Zarahemla came out from Jerusalem at the time that Zedekiah, king of Judah, was carried away captive into Babylon.
And they journeyed in the wilderness, and were brought by the hand of the Lord across the great waters, into the land where Mosiah discovered them; and they had dwelt there from that time forth.15-16

After arriving in the New World, the people of Zarahemla (aka the Mulekites) became exceedingly numerous. But from time to time they had wars and whatnot. And because they didn't write stuff on brass plates, they became atheists and their language (Reformed Egyptian) became corrupted. So the people of Zarahemla and the people of Mosiah couldn't understand one another.

And at the time that Mosiah discovered them, they had become exceedingly numerous. Nevertheless, they had had many wars and serious contentions, and had fallen by the sword from time to time; and their language had become corrupted; and they had brought no records with them; and they denied the being of their Creator; and Mosiah, nor the people of Mosiah, could understand them. 17

But these problems were easily solved. Mosiah taught the people of Zarahamla how to speak in Mosiah's language (Reformed Egyptian -- like all indigenous Americans speak), so they could write down their genealogies too. (Although they didn't get to write them on the plates of Nephi.)

But it came to pass that Mosiah caused that they should be taught in his language. And it came to pass that after they were taught in the language of Mosiah, Zarahemla gave a genealogy of his fathers, according to his memory; and they are written, but not in these plates. 18

After that, it came to pass that the people of Zarhemla and of Mosiah united together and made Mosiah their king.

And it came to pass that the people of Zarahemla, and of Mosiah, did unite together; and Mosiah was appointed to be their king. 19

Then someone found this big rock with engravings on it. Mosiah, with the help of God, interpreted the engravings and found that they were written by a guy named Coriantumr, who lived with the people of Zarahemla for the space of nine moons. ("Nine moons" is "Indian talk" for nine months.)

And it came to pass in the days of Mosiah, there was a large stone brought unto him with engravings on it; and he did interpret the engravings by the gift and power of God. And they gave an account of one Coriantumr, and the slain of his people. And Coriantumr was discovered by the people of Zarahemla; and he dwelt with them for the space of nine moons. 20-21

Okay, so where did this Coriantumr fellow come from?

Well, Israel, of course, silly! All the indigenous people in the Western Hemisphere came from Israel at one time or another. The Nephites sailed over in 600 BCE, the people of Zarahemla (aka the Mulekites) did likewise in 586 BCE, as did Corantumr's people (aka the Jaredites) at the time of the Tower of Babel. (You can read more all about the Jaredites in the Book of Ether.)

It also spake a few words concerning his fathers. And his first parents came out from the tower, at the time the Lord confounded the language of the people; and the severity of the Lord fell upon them according to his judgments, which are just; and their bones lay scattered in the land northward. 22

After Amaleki finished telling stories about the Mulekites and Jaredites, he began to be old and having no seed, he passed the plates to King Benjamin, who succeeded King Mosiah, and who drove the Lamanites out of the land of Zarahemla.

Behold, I, Amaleki, was born in the days of Mosiah; and I have lived to see his death; and Benjamin, his son, reigneth in his stead. And behold, I have seen, in the days of king Benjamin, a serious war and much bloodshed between the Nephites and the Lamanites. But behold, the Nephites did obtain much advantage over them; yea, insomuch that king Benjamin did drive them out of the land of Zarahemla. And it came to pass that I began to be old; and, having no seed, and knowing king Benjamin to be a just man before the Lord, wherefore, I shall deliver up these plates unto him...23-25a

King Benjamin told everyone to believe in prophesying, revelations, speaking in tongues (which, according to the Bible, no one did until the day of Pentecost), and getting saved through Christ (who wouldn't be born for another couple centuries).

...exhorting all men to come unto God, the Holy One of Israel, and believe in prophesying, and in revelations, and in the ministering of angels, and in the gift of speaking with tongues ... And now, my beloved brethren, I would that ye should come unto Christ ...  and as the Lord liveth ye will be saved. 25b-26

Before Amaleki makes an end of his speaking, he tells us about a certain number of Nephites who leave Zarahelma and to return to the land of Nephi. They were led by a stiff-necked guy that got all of them killed, save fifty. After that, it came to pass that there was another attempted migration to the land of Nephi, with Amaleki's brother among them, and no one has heard from them since.

And now I would speak somewhat concerning a certain number who went up into the wilderness to return to the land of Nephi ... And their leader being a strong and mighty man, and a stiffnecked man, wherefore he caused a contention among them; and they were all slain, save fifty, in the wilderness, and they returned again to the land of Zarahemla. And it came to pass that they also took others to a considerable number, and took their journey again into the wilderness. And I, Amaleki, had a brother, who also went with them; and I have not since known concerning them. 27-30a

 And with that bit of news, Amaleki makes an end of his speaking, and with the plates full, goes down in his grave.

And I am about to lie down in my grave; and these plates are full. And I make an end of my speaking. 30b