More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
Ananias and his wife, Sapphira, sold some land, gave some of the money to the apostles and kept the rest.
Ananias, with Sapphira his wife, sold a possession, And kept back part of the price, his wife also being privy to it, and brought a certain part, and laid it at the apostles' feet. Acts 5:1-2
The bible doesn't say how much the land sold for or what percentage they kept or gave away.
But whatever the selling price may have been, the percentage of the donation wasn't enough to satisfy Peter. Or God.
But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, and to keep back part of the price of the land? ... Why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God. Acts 5:3-4
I don't know how Peter would know that Satan was involved in any of this. God must have told him. But what about this "lie to the Holy Ghost" thing? So far, at least as far as the text goes, Ananias hasn't said a thing. Don't your lips have to move when you lie?
Maybe not. Maybe you lie to the Holy Ghost every time you don't give all of your money to the church. (Which church? The Holy Ghost's church, of course!)
In any case, Ananias fell over dead before getting to say a single word in his own defense.
And Ananias hearing these words fell down, and gave up the ghost. Acts 5:5
A few hours later, they bring in Sapphira, who didn't yet know what had happened to her husband.
And it was about the space of three hours after, when his wife, not knowing what was done, came in. Acts 5:7
Peter asked her if the land sold for a certain price, and she said, yes, that was what the land sold for.
And Peter answered unto her, Tell me whether ye sold the land for so much? And she said, Yea, for so much. Acts 5:8
Then Peter asked her why she and her husband had tempted the Spirit of the Lord. And then, before she could answer, Peter told her that the guys who had just buried her husband were going to do the same to her.
Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the Lord? behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out. Acts 5:9
After hearing Peter's words, she fell down dead. And the "young men" came in to bury her.
Then fell she down straightway at his feet, and yielded up the ghost: and the young men came in, and found her dead, and, carrying her forth, buried her by her husband. Acts 5:10
And it scared the shit (and the shekels) out of everyone in the church.
And great fear came upon all the church, and upon as many as heard these things. Acts 5:11
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
I guess God was trying to make some kind of point in this killing. Maybe you can help me figure out what it was.
God had just revealed some important stuff to Ezekiel.
Thus saith the Lord GOD ... Woe to the bloody city, to the pot whose scum is therein, and whose scum is not gone out of it! ... That it might cause fury to come up to take vengeance; I have set her blood upon the top of a rock, that it should not be covered. ... Woe to the bloody city! ... Heap on wood, kindle the fire, consume the flesh, and spice it well, and let the bones be burned ... that the filthiness of it may be molten in it, that the scum of it may be consumed. She hath wearied herself with lies, and her great scum went not forth out of her: her scum shall be in the fire. ... I the LORD have spoken it: it shall come to pass, and I will do it; I will not go back, neither will I spare. Ezekiel 24:3-14
So there you have it. God is going to make a bloody, scum-filled soup using human blood, bones, and body parts. It will come to pass and God will spare no one.
Then in the next verse he announces his next killing: Ezekiel's wife.
Also the word of the LORD came unto me, saying, Son of man, behold, I take away from thee the desire of thine eyes with a stroke. Ezekiel 24:15-16aaNow, I don't think God meant to say here that he was going to kill Ezekiel's wife "with a stroke." Here's how the Revised Standard Version puts it.
Son of Man, behold, I am about to take the delight of your eyes away from you at a stroke." Ezekiel 24:16a (SRV)
So although we don't know how, we do know he's going to kill her right away, "in a stroke."
And when he does, God doesn't want Ezekiel to mourn her death in any way. He's not allowed to cry, take his shoes off, cover his lips, bind the tire of his head, or eat the bread of men.
Yet neither shalt thou mourn nor weep, neither shall thy tears run down. Forbear to cry, make no mourning for the dead, bind the tire of thine head upon thee, and put on thy shoes upon thy feet, and cover not thy lips, and eat not the bread of men. Ezekiel 24:16a-17
And that's what happens. God killed Ezekiel's wife and Ezekiel didn't give a shit.
My wife died; and I did in the morning as I was commanded. Ezekiel 24:16
Then God and Ezekiel explain the whole point of this killing to everyone in Israel. God will kill their sons and daughters, and no one is allowed to mourn them after they die, like Ezekiel didn't mourn his wife when God killed her. (At least I think that's the point here. Let me know if you think I'm wrong.)
Here's what Ezekiel told the people after God killed his wife.
The word of the LORD came unto me, saying ... your sons and your daughters ... shall fall by the sword. And ye shall do as I have done: ye shall not cover your lips, nor eat the bread of men. And your tires shall be upon your heads, and your shoes upon your feet: ye shall not mourn nor weep ... Thus Ezekiel is unto you a sign: according to all that he hath done shall ye do. Ezekiel 24:20-24
Well, now, that's a point worth killing for, isn't it?
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
Remember how, in God's 107th killing, a big wind blew down the house that Job's children were partying in? Well, it was all a part of God's plan -- or in this case, his bet with Satan.
In case you were wondering, God won the bet. Job never cursed God, even after he killed his children, slaves and animals, and then tormented Job with all kinds of nasty diseases.
And in the end, everything worked out well for Job. God gave him twice as much stuff as he had before, and even gave him seven new sons and three new daughters to replace the ones that he killed in his bet with Satan.
The new daughters even had names. And, best of all, the they were even prettier than the originals! They were the fairest women in all the land (fairer even than Snow White and the witch).
And he called the name of the first, Jemima; and the name of the second, Kezia; and the name of the third, Kerenhappuch. And in all the land were no women found so fair as the daughters of Job. Job 42:14-15
You've probably heard of the masonic organization, "Job's Daughters," where young girls dress up in sheets and old men decide who is prettiest.
Yeah, well, now you know where the name comes from: the three pretty replacement daughters for the original (not as pretty) daughters of Job.
How sick is that?
This is the only killing in the Bible that Satan had anything to do with. And he didn't do it alone; God was a co-conspirator.
The story begins by introducing Job.
Job was a perfect man with 7 sons, 3 daughters, 7000 sheep, 3000 camels, 500 oxen, 500 she asses, and lots of slaves. He was the greatest man east of the Mediterranean.
There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil. And there were born unto him seven sons and three daughters. His substance also was seven thousand sheep, and three thousand camels, and five hundred yoke of oxen, and five hundred she asses, and a very great household; so that this man was the greatest of all the men of the east. Job 1:1-3
Job's sons liked to party a lot, and they often invited their sisters over to party with them.
And his sons went and feasted in their houses, every one his day; and sent and called for their three sisters to eat and to drink with them. Job 1:4
Job worried that his sons (he didn't worry about about his daughters) might sin while they were partying, so Job spent all his time killing animals for God in order to sanctify his sons.
And it was so, when the days of their feasting were gone about, that Job sent and sanctified them, and rose up early in the morning, and offered burnt offerings according to the number of them all: for Job said, It may be that my sons have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts. Thus did Job continually. Job 1:5
One day the sons of God came over to to God's place. And Satan was with them.
Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan came also among them. Job 1:6
God ignored his other sons, but was especially interested in Satan. He hadn't seen him for a while and wanted to know what he'd been up to lately.
And the LORD said unto Satan, Whence comest thou? Job 1:7a
Satan said that he'd been down hiking around on earth.
Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it. Job 1:7b
God asked Satan if he'd seen Job, you know, the guy that is perfect, upright, God-fearing, and whatnot.
And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil? Job 1:8
Satan knew who God was talking about. He told God that Job had a good reason to be good. God made Job the biggest big shot east of Eden, protecting him from everything bad and giving him everything good.
Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, Doth Job fear God for nought? Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he hath on every side? thou hast blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is increased in the land. Job 1:9-10
Take away the protection and mess with his stuff, and he'll curse you to your face, Big Guy.
But put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath, and he will curse thee to thy face. Job 1:11
So God said, "You're on, Satan. Go back down to earth and and do whatever the hell you want with his stuff. But don't do anything to him."
And the LORD said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thine hand. Job 1:12a
So Satan left God's place and, presumably, went down to earth to visit Job.
So Satan went forth from the presence of the LORD. Job 1:12b
When Satan got down to earth, he found Job's children partying, as usual.
And there was a day when his sons and his daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother's house: Job 1:13
And then all hell broke loose.
A messenger came to tell Job that the Sabeans had taken his oxen and asses and killed all his slaves ("servants" in the KJV).
And there came a messenger unto Job, and said, The oxen were plowing, and the asses feeding beside them: And the Sabeans fell upon them, and took them away; yea, they have slain the servants with the edge of the sword; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee. Job 1:14-15
And then, while he was still talking to the first messenger, another messenger showed up, telling him that "a fire from God had fallen from heaven" and burned up Job's sheep and slaves (I guess some slaves must have survived the Sabean attack).
While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, The fire of God is fallen from heaven, and hath burned up the sheep, and the servants, and consumed them; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee. Job 116:
And then while the second messenger was talking, a third messenger arrived to tell Job that a wind came up and knocked down the house that his children were partying at, killing them all.
(These three messengers were, of course, the only ones who survived.)
While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, Thy sons and thy daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother's house: And, behold, there came a great wind from the wilderness, and smote the four corners of the house, and it fell upon the young men, and they are dead; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee. Job 1:18-19
After Job heard these three messages he ripped up his clothes, shaved his head, fell on his face, and worshiped the God who had just murdered his children.
Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped. Job 1:20
Oh, and he also said that he was born naked and would die naked, God gives and takes away, blessed be his name.
And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. Job 1:21
God burned to death his slaves and animals and murdered his children, but Job didn't blame God.
In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly. Job 1:22
But God was to blame, even if Job didn't have the guts to say so.
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
This is a census year in the United States. Article 1, Section 2 of the U.S. Constitution requires a complete enumeration every ten years.
[An] Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct.
But Michele Bachmann won't be participating.
She claims it has something to do with WWII Japanese American internment camps, but I think it's all about the Bible. Michele knows her Bible too well to participate in a God-damned government census.
Remember what happened with David's census? God killed 70,000 men (and who knows how many women and children) in three days of pestilence.
Why did God kill so many people? Because David had a census.
David said to Joab and to the rulers of the people, Go, number Israel ... and bring the number of them to me, that I may know it.
...
And Joab gave the sum of the number of the people unto David.
...
And God was displeased with this thing; therefore he smote Israel.
...
So the LORD sent pestilence upon Israel: and there fell of Israel seventy thousand men. 1 Chronicles 21:2-14
And why did David have the census?
Because Satan told him to.
And Satan stood up against Israel, and provoked David to number Israel. 1 Chronicles 21:1
Michele Bachmann knows that if Satan could fool David, a man after God's own heart, he sure as hell could fool the authors of the U.S. Constitution.
Note: Michele also knows that Satan had help in inspiring the David's census.
And again the anger of the LORD was kindled against Israel, and he moved David against them to say, Go, number Israel and Judah. 2 Samuel 24:1
Satan and God worked on it together. But that's beside the point. God got angry and he and/or Satan inspired David to have a census and then God killed a couple hundred thousand people because of the census.
So it doesn't matter whether the 2010 census was inspired by God or Satan or both. God hates censuses, and he kills those that participate in them.
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
Uzziah was one of God's favorite kings. He did right in the sight of the Lord just like his father, Amaziah.
Uzziah ... did that which was right in the sight of the LORD, according to all that his father Amaziah did. 2 Chronicles 26:3-4
God helped him kill Philistines, Arabians, and Mehunim.
He went forth and warred against the Philistines ... And God helped him against the Philistines, and against the Arabians that dwelt in Gurbaal, and the Mehunims. 2 Chronicles 26:6-7
But one day Uzziah did something really awful. He burned some incense without a license.
He transgressed against the LORD his God, and went into the temple of the LORD to burn incense upon the altar of incense. 2 Chronicles 26:16
Azariah and 80 priests descended upon him and told him that only priest can burn incense.
And Azariah the priest went in after him, and with him fourscore priests of the LORD, that were valiant men ... and said unto him, It appertaineth not unto thee, Uzziah, to burn incense unto the LORD, but to the priests. 2 Chronicles 26:
So God, who saw the whole thing, did what he had to do: he gave Uzziah leprosy. (He was out of small pox at the time.)
"Behold, he was leprous in his forehead ... because the LORD had smitten him. 2 Chronicles 26:20
And Uzziah had leprosy for the rest of his life.
And Uzziah the king was a leper unto the day of his death. 2 Chronicles 26:21
The Bible doesn't say that Uzziah died of leprosy. But since leprosy is often fatal when untreated, it is likely that he did.
So what do you think? We know that God gave Uzziah leprosy. But did he kill him?
Those who have been following along with me know that I'm nearing the end of God's killings, at least those that I've included on the list. I worry, though, that I've missed some and I'd like to make the list as complete as possible, giving God all the credit or blame that is due, depending on one's point of view.
So I'll be starting another series of posts on God's suspected killings, those killings in which God would be a "person of interest" based upon the evidence provided by the Bible.
And I'd like you all to help me with this. Search the scriptures to uncover the bodies in the Bible and find scriptural evidence for God's guilt or innocence. Then let me know in the comments or by email, so we can start an investigation. Let's not let any of these cases become cold.
I'd especially like help on this from believers (I know you're out there). It's your book and your God. So you should be interested in knowing whom he has killed and why. Once you are convinced that God was responsible for a particular killing, why not explain why the killing was justified in the comments or guest post?
Because when it comes to these cases, we are all believers, with the Bible our only witness and its words infallible (except when it contradicts itelf).
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
For those of you who don't have Ezekiel 23:20 and Leviticus 26:29 memorized:
For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses. Ezekiel 23:20
And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat. Leviticus 26:29
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
Remember how Sarah Palin wrote crib notes on her hand at the Tea Party Convention?
Yeah well, she's not the only one. God did it, too!
Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands. Isaiah 49:16
And now she's quoting this verse to justify using her palm for a cheat sheet.
Here's what she said at a Ohio Right To Life fundraiser Friday night.
"If what was good enough for God, scribbling on the palm of his hand, it's good enough for me, for us,"
Of course the Right To Life folks loved it. They're all palm writers, too.
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
More information about God's killings, with a chapter on each of the 135 killing events, can be found int the book:
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