A Perfect Case for Biblical Justice: Thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her

When reading God's commandment in Deuteronomy 25:11-12, have you ever wondered if such a punishment is really necessary?

Here's the passage.

When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets: Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her.

Well, wonder no more.

China News 24 reports that a woman came to the assistance of her husband in a fight by grabbing the other man's testicles. She squeezed them so hard, in fact, that the man died.

Now, thanks to the Bible, we know what to do with her.

The Book of Job

Mitt Romney: The Ryan budget is a marvelous work and a wonder

A few weeks ago, President Obama made fun of Mitt Romney for describing Paul Ryan's budget as "marvelous" by saying,

Marvelous is a word you don't often hear when it comes to describing a budget. It's a word that you don't often hear generally.

Which is true, generally, unless you're a Mormon.

Mormons love the word "marvelous." It was one of Joseph Smith's favorite words. He used it 50 times in the book of Mormon, compared to the 24 times it is found in the King James Version of the Bible. And since the Bible is nearly five times as big as the Book of Mormon, the Book of Mormon is about ten times as "marvelous" as the Bible.

Here's a table to summarize the marvelousness of these two marvelous books.

	Bible	Book of Mormon
Marvelous	24	50
number of verses	31,102	6553
Occurrences per 10,000 verses	7.7	76.3

But one of the phrases that Joseph Smith loved the most was "a marvelous work and a wonder." He used it to describe his own work, the Book of Mormon, and Mormons have used it as a code name for their sacred text ever since.

Here is how the phrase is used in Mitt Romney's third favorite book. (His favorite book is either Battlefield Earth or the Bible.)

And the Lord will set his hand again the second time to restore his people from their lost and fallen state. Wherefore, he will proceed to do a marvelous work and a wonder among the children of men. 2 Nephi 25:17

Therefore, I will proceed to do a marvelous work among this people, yea, a marvelous work and a wonder, for the wisdom of their wise and learned shall perish, and the understanding of their prudent shall be hid.2 Nephi 27:26

So when Romney called the Ryan budget "marvelous," he was using a word that is often heard in Mormondom. I suspect that if Romney was fully unzipped, he would say it is "a marvelous work and a wonder" just like the Book of Mormon.

The Book of Mormon: The whiter the skin, the closer to God

Tim Giago, the founder of the Native American Journalist Association, has an excellent article with this title at the Huffington Post. It inspired me to find the verses in the Book of Mormon that mention skin color.

Here's what I found. Let me know if I missed any.

Mary (Jesus's mother) was exceedingly fair and white.

And it came to pass that I looked and beheld the great city of Jerusalem, and also other cities. And I beheld the city of Nazareth; and in the city of Nazareth I beheld a virgin, and she was exceedingly fair and white. 1 Nephi 11:13

Jesus, of course, was as white as his mom, as were his disciples. Indeed, after they were blessed by Jesus, the disciples became whiter than anything else on earth -- as white as Jesus even!

It came to pass that Jesus blessed them as they did pray unto him; and his countenance did smile upon them, and the light of his countenance did shine upon them, and behold they were as white as the countenance and also the garments of Jesus; and behold the whiteness thereof did exceed all the whiteness, yea, even there could be nothing upon earth so white as the whiteness thereof. 3 Nephi 19:25

And when Jesus had spoken these words he came again unto his disciples; and behold they did pray steadfastly, without ceasing, unto him; and he did smile upon them again; and behold they were white, even as Jesus.  3 Nephi 19:30

The Nephites (God's favorite people) were also white and exceedingly delightsome.

It came to pass that the people of Nephi did wax strong, and did multiply exceedingly fast, and became an exceedingly fair and delightsome people. 4 Nephi 10

Even the Gentiles (white, non-Mormon Protestants in Mormon-speak) were exceedingly fair and beautiful.

 And I beheld the Spirit of the Lord, that it was upon the Gentiles, and they did prosper and obtain the land for their inheritance; and I beheld that they were white, and exceedingly fair and beautiful, like unto my people before they were slain. 1 Nephi 13:15

But the Lamanites (or Native Americans) were not. They were once "a delightsome people," but God made them a dark-skinned, "filthy and loathsome people, led about by Satan" because of their unbelief and idolatry.

This people ... shall become a dark, a filthy, and a loathsome people ... because of their unbelief and idolatry. ... They were once a delightsome people ... But now, behold, they are led about by Satan. Mormon 5:15-18

Still, there is some hope for Native Americans. If they convert to Mormonism, their skins will turn white, and they will become a "delightsome." (The original "white" in this verse was later changed to "pure" to soften the obvious racism of this prophecy.)

And then shall they rejoice; for they shall know that it is a blessing unto them from the hand of God; and their scales of darkness shall begin to fall from their eyes; and many generations shall not pass away among them, save they shall be a pure and delightsome people. 2 Nephi 30:6

It happened before. God removed his curse from the "good" Lamanites (the ones that "united with the Nephites"), and they "became exceedingly fair, with skins "white like unto the Nephites."

It came to pass that those Lamanites who had united with the Nephites were numbered among the Nephites; And their curse was taken from them, and their skin became white like unto the Nephites; And their young men and their daughters became exceedingly fair, and they were numbered among the Nephites. 3 Nephi 2:14

And it can happen to you, too. If you turn to God and become Mormon, God will make your skin spotless, pure, fair, and white.

O then ye unbelieving, turn ye unto the Lord; cry mightily unto the Father in the name of Jesus, that perhaps ye may be found spotless, pure, fair, and white. Mormon 9:6

So there you have it. According to the Book of Mormon, the whiter the skin, the closer to God.

A Green Bible Verse for Earth Day

Repost for Earth Day

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Here is a verse that is marked green in the world's most dishonest book -- The Green Bible.

Therefore thus says the Lord God: My anger and my wrath shall be poured out on this place, on human beings and animals, on the trees of the field and the fruit of the ground; it will burn and not be quenched. Jeremiah 7:20, The Green Bible

I have no idea why it's marked green, except that the words "animals", "trees", and "fruit" are in it.

And yet when you read chapter 7 of Jeremiah, the meaning of this verse is clear enough: God's wrath will be poured out on the environment to punish humans for worshiping incorrectly.

There are no green Bible verses. There are only verses dishonestly marked green in the Green Bible.